Is he serious about me?

Last night I had my third date with this great guy! In the beginning of us talking (we met on plenty of fish), he said he wanted to date (if we both meant it). I really like him and he’s told me that he likes me too! We kind of moved fast— when we first met we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other, but he’s told me before that he’s not into casual sex. And when we sleep (like actual sleep) together, he holds me the whole night and pulls me back to him if I roll away. We haven’t really had a date out in public, but we’ve gone to public places together (he’s not afraid to be see with me, the weather just has been bad to go out), but he always pays for my food and drinks! He actually makes me cocktails too. He always wants to hold me and touch me in someway— he also kisses me on my forehead, which I think is really sweet. And he talks about us in the future tense. He also saves my snapchats to his phone. I really like him, but I don’t want to waste my time if I’m the only one who wants something serious.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he could be, but it's hard to know. Personally I think it's better not to have sex really early in a relationship because that makes it hard to know whether the relationship is mostly about sex or is a real relationship based on other things.

    Since you don't have that method available to determine what he's thinking, I think the best you can do is try to do things that don't involve sex and see if he seems as interested in doing those with you. When the weather's ok, go out more. If you spend a long time talking about things that are not sexual, does he seem interested in what you are saying? Does he remember things you say? Those are other things that you can use as signs for whether he cares about you as a person or mostly as a female body.

    • Thank you for answering! We don’t just have sex, we cuddle and talk too. About stuff that isn’t related to sex. He tells me about his past, family, and friends and I do the same to him and he seems genuinely interested!

    • Show All
    • Maybe by sharing your results, he'll volunteer to take the quiz too. (Again I wouldn't push it yet if he doesn't seem to want to.) If he does and your scores come out pretty similar, you can make some comment about how much alike you seem to be and how you've heard that similar scores make it easier to have a good relationship. That would give him another opportunity to make a comment about how serious he is.

      But if he doesn't I wouldn't worry because from what you told me, my guess is that he's wanting a serious relationship and if you both pass some of the other relationship tests that will happen at some point (e. g. how well you handle your first argument) that you'll probably have one.

      If you want to know my thoughts on how to argue without damaging the relationship, let me know. I think I've learned a lot about that over the years. I'd prefer private message for that, but if you're not comfortable with that, here is fine. It's not related to your original question though.

    • It has been several months since you asked this question. I'm curious how it's going. Has your relationship developed into something serious? From what you said, I thought it sounded promising and am interested to know if I was right or wrong about that.

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