I’m scared I’ll be single forever?

I’m newly single. Long story short my childhood sweetheart left me 6 months ago after 10 years and I assumed we’d get married not break up and have my life upturned as everything was fine... he even slept with me the day before he asked me to leave. He has left me (still) feeling totally worthless.

I had a brief 5 months “relationship” I just ended as it was emotionally manipulative and abusive so now I’m alone again.

I’m scared I’m never gonna meet anyone unless it’s through tinder and I hate tinder. I can’t stomach the idea of being alone forever, I worry I’m simply not good enough for men at the moment cuz they either don’t want me or treat me like shit

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can honestly assure that, as you go about your days, acknowledging the fact that you're a wonderful and fun woman, some guy will pick up on that. Not every man is trying to hurt you. If you keep an eye open for a man who notices you, not for your body. But for your heart and mind. Well at that point see if he has an appeal, besides being an amazing guy (in our world today, it takes a real man to go for the person instead of the "meat shell").
    Please dont shut every guy out or down. Because it hurts.
    I know you're hurting. I've done similar with my first girl. She has quite a few mental issues, but I honestly felt like she was choking me, and that I couldn't trust her. But she's still hurting so much, and I do what I can to help her.

    I can promise that if you take yiur time, look into a relationship, before leaping, the right man, will find you. And he won't just sweep you off your feet. He'll carry you in his arms and make you the queen and ruler of his entire world.
    Just be patient. This kind of hurt takes time.

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    • Thankyou that’s lovely 😊

    • You're welcome. I apologize for the essay, but that is simply the truth as I see it, and as I've grown it's what I've seen.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It perfectly normal to be emotionally dependent on a person when you get out of a relationship.
    Accept the fact that you have you become dependent on others for emotional support. Then work your way towards building a self-dependent attitude.

    Don't worry, you won't be single forever. Give it time to heal. Give time to yourself. Its not weird even if takes 1-2 years to get over someone.

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What Girls & Guys Said

221
  • You aren't the only one. I lost the love of my life because I was afraid to tell her I loved her. I married an abusive woman and stayed to raise and protect the kids. Now I'm alone and don't have a clue where I can even meet people any more. I'm still trying to remain positive. It's getting difficult but I have little choice.

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    • I’m so sorry to hear that it must have been so difficult for you 😐

    • Was or is, hahaha. It's a struggle but you are in a far better situation than I. I would be happy to have a good email friendship but the internet has changed so much and people are so paranoid they are so rarely even friendly. Wait a minute, I thought I was trying to be positive.

  • You will not be alone forever as long as you don't give up and you keep trying. I do believe that you should take some time away from relationships though, and just be u for awhile. Find yourself and worth, and happiness with yourself. Live life for you right now.

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    • Yeah I need to fix my own issues before I worry about someone new, but I can’t shake the feeling that it will never happen for me

    • I understand. I've been there. You won't be though, and also at the end of the day you will have yourself, that's a positive. Get yourself out there. Make some new friends, do things you haven't had the chance to do, further your career. Live your life and everything else will fall into place. You won't be alone forever. I trust and believe that. I am curious as to why you feel that way though. If you want to talk about it you can feel free to send me a message.

  • You won't be single forever!
    First of all, you need to calm down and keep your confidence up! You are a great woman, you're young, you have a long life ahead, maybe it wasn't time for you to fall in love, maybe you need to focus in other spheres of your life, your profession, (maybe) your religion, talk with your friends, met some new people! Don't care too much about it, it was just some bad relationships, you'll find a good one (:

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  • We all feel like this, my friend. But "Time heals" and it's true. You will be happy again. Don't give up.
    Tinder won't help it's trash lol, you'll meet sometime when you least expect it.

    I've been alone for longer then that.
    Met her when I was 16, 28 we got married she left me a year later for an "open" relationship. I'm 37 now I still haven't healed. I've known her for longer than half my life. I know I'll be okay someday, even if it's not today.

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    • Oh god that’s so terrible I’m sorry 😐 I hope you feel better soon

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    • Well thankyou! I had a lot of stick from my mother for telling his family about him using me for sex (I don’t feel bad I’d do it again) he really did make me feel worthless I’m not joking it was horrible. On that holiday before he left me he was even googling if it was safe for me to give him a blowjob when I was at the last stages of a cold sore- knowing he didn’t even intend on staying with me when we got home!! I hate his guts he’s a despicable “man”

      You do sound genuinely nice, don’t beat yourself up for how you handle anything, do whatever makes YOU feel better! Fuck what everyone says and thinks they aren’t paying your bills lol!

    • Wow that's gross, he was using you. He should have done things to make you feel better even if was only a cold sore lol your mother sounds like my mother lol ;) like I said there are TONS of choices out there. I have a feeling you'll be better than fine

      Some people ugh. Thank you! I don't worry about what pepe think but they do love to exploit the fact that I'm a "nice guy" without asking I have 10 dollars and you have nothing -we-have ten dollars.

  • Relex relex or you will fall into a depression.
    First you need to tell me now why he broke up.
    You have to accept it first before you move on.

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    • I literally don’t know everything was fine he carried on telling he loved me then chucked me suddenly

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    • If you keep that attitude you won't get for.
      Like he said your good on paper so think about what that means :)

    • So why didn’t he want me anymore then? 😢 I don’t even want him I think he’s a complete cock but why would someone get rid of someone “perfect”? I think there must be something wrong with me

  • Don't be. This is simply something that you have to overcome. Get back to working on yourself, improve anything that you may find you are lacking and get back out there, and instead of tinder, try other places, where you actually interact with people maybe a library or a gym or wherever you tend to go.

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  • you had a relationship already and a re quite young. Don't worry about it. You'll have someone. Don't ever feel that you are not good enough.

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  • nvr think like that... sont put urself down... maybe the worms u dated had issues with themselves amd took it out on u... or they for some odd reason felt u deserved to be treated wrong... which was a bitch move... take it slow and u make the choice... dnt become chosen again... play by ur terms and find someone who can treat like u deserve also dnt count anyone out that perfect person might be where you would least expect it

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  • Last year, after 5 years of relationship something like that happened to me and still im a wreck, I can't even imagen what you are going through.
    I really hope you can handle it, if you wanted to talk pm me.

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  • Forget about relationships for now, go out and have fun with your friends, just try to be natural and enjoy yourself maybe someone will find it attractive and hit on you ;)

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  • You re young and have plenty of time to meet other men. Start working on your self esteem though

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  • People are temporary, you're going to die alone and do things alone, don't rely on others

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    • People downvoted you just you're the most honest person here. That and the asker is doing this for attention and sympathy. She keeps asking it

    • @kittycat119 I don't blame them lol, they don't want to face the truth and i agree

  • you still at an age where you should be enjoying yourself and learning about yourself. focus on bettering yourself first, your confidence will return and when it does, men will come knocking.

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  • Go somewhere for a week... Open, mountaining , in jungle you got my point. Don't take smartphone (no entertainment). You are just tired. Look into the world with a new prespective. You are complete by yourself. The thing is we want to be in a relationship to rely on someone when we are down, but the truth is you and only you can rely on yourself. Its your life and you got the steering, accelerator, brake, e-brake and nitros (Too much NFS, Sorry) so its upto you how you want to drive. by the way, YOU ARE AWESOME not PERFECT ( you don't need to be ).

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  • You are still young... dont worry... let the time do its thing and you will find somebody that will treat you right

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  • How old are you. Well I can tell you this you're only going to be alone if you want to be alone is Tinder very good I should go there and make an account LOL and don't program yourself by saying you're not going to ever have anybody because that's your first negative tell yourself positive things your hot sexy beautiful you had compassion passion you have confidence and you can get anything you want and then do it only you can do it clear your mind clear your head today's the first day of the rest of your life take a first step forward and smile

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    • I just turned 25 this month

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    • No for me I look at Beauty From the Inside Out for example if we were just to me right now I would look at you but as we are talking I would hear and see your words to feel who you really are Within because that's what true beauty comes from. And then I would allow myself to look into your eyes and look at the total to you on the outside and then you put one and 2 together LOL inside and outside for me true beauty comes from the inside

    • Oh I see that’s fair enough!

      Yeah I’m happy with how I look I am confident I’m attractive but I still feel like I’ll never interest anyone other than for sex since everything that happened to me with my ex fucking with my trust and now it’s in ruins

  • See u come out of it even I faced situation but nothing has happened n everything was fine

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  • get busy in life, chase your dreams and goals in life, and the right people who belongs in your life, will come

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  • God you're an attention seeker it's pathetic

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  • Can be a blessing or a curse.

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  • You'll get used to it

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  • You will find someone try joining a group that does something you are interested in

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  • Hey! Being single ain't that bad.

    There are so many benefits of being single compared to being in a relationship, the amount of freedom to just do you is amazing!

    Plus like you said, you're newly single, give it some time. You'll find someone soon and tinder is about hook ups mainly not actual dating.

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