Confused Should I stay friends with this friend? HELP?

I had made my friend aware of my sexuality might be gay. She has known that for 3 years and when we were having a conversation in the car about it one day. She said to me, "Sally, did you really think you'd ever be with a woman."

When she said this to me I was baffled and hurt. However, is that normal for someone to say to someone questioning their sexuality? How would you feel if your best friend said that to you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly, it seems you're being a little... Defensive about it.
    Maybe she's tired of you talking about it? Maybe you bring it up too often? Or maybe she disapproves on some level and wanted to say it.
    Either way I wouldn't read too far into it. Sounds like just a simple, pointed question.

    • Well its kinda hard not to be defensive when she judges everything you do and she said it out of no where and she didn't say it to me in a questioning like oh did you really think? She said it like in a snappy where where like as if I ever had a chance to be with someone of the same sex.

    • If she judges everything you do and clearly has a problem with your sexuality, why is she your friend?
      I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm a very blunt person about things like this.
      If she's gonna play the snide remarks game about something that's obviously a big deal to you, personally, I'd back my way out of the friendship. One that plays such a stupid game with such important things isn't someone you need around, not until you're comfortable with your decision at least.

    • Can I personally message you to ask you your opinion on the matter? Because right now i am not talking to her and she does not know I decided to cut the friendship.. But I sadly cannot message you since you only allow people who only follow you message you :'(

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was 24 when I came out it was 2004 during the election bush Kerry election I was 20 when I cameout to myself.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I think you should happy she is your best friend. She is telling you in a very honest way what she sees. I don't know your situation and the reason she said it. Maybe she thinks you will be too scared I don't know. Use it as a learning opportunity and perhaps you can gleen some additional understanding of why she thinks you won't.

  • It's just a joke I think she was trying to break the ice and be funny

    • How is that funny?

    • Show All
    • I didn't come out till I was 22

    • @asker first people we ever come out to is ourselves sometimes takes us while to accept it. That’s when you realize who your true friends are.

  • She's your best friend, you questioning your sexual orientation is a big deal. She noticed and honestly asked you about it privately. How do you feel hurt?

    • She didn't say it in a questioning caring way when she said it to me she meant it as do I really think I ever had a chance. Not genuine.

    • Show All
    • How did you react?

    • I wasn't really sure how to react because it came rather shocking. At times it did bother her when I spoke about it. She found it draining and i had never known that but when I told my friends they told me that is what a friend does. They talk things out with you. And when I saw her recently I lied saying I was straight. Because I was afraid if I talked about girls it would bother her.

  • She is in luv with u

    • doubt it lol

    • Show All
    • What? What do you mean how is that a proposal? Are you trolling me?

    • Why will I troll u see when u said she didn't feel bad or advice u to go to da to confirm or angry she just made a statement how would u will to be with a woman why tht particularly n wht it mean ither than proposals

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