The "honeymoon stage" is over. What should we do next?

This guy and I have been dating for three months now, and I think that our "honeymoon stage" is over. He took me home to meet his parents over the holidays, which I thought was kinda early but I went along with it. We used to go out on fun dates all the time, but now all we do is watch Netflix at home and ordered pizza in bed. We used to talk on the phone for hours, but now we talk for maybe 10 to 15 minutes everyday. When we go out to eat at a restaurant, we seem to have less to talk about than before and sometimes we would be so quiet that we just focus on eating. I think that we have hit a relationship plateau. Things just seem to be much less exciting than before. What should we do to keep the spark alive?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you could do something that will benefit the world or start some kind of project together that will keep you active and engaged in each other's minds. For me - I have conversations with guys about God or religion or faith or the bible and that gives me an endless stream of conversation devices to use.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That does seem to be a short honeymoon period. Are you sure you guys are well suited for each other, and really want to stay together? The answer doesn't need to be no, but do something to spice things up and get things moving. You act like you've been in a long relationship.

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    • I agree. I find it strange how we act like we've been in a long relationship even though we've been dating for only 3 months. I'll be looking into it, thanks for the advice!

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What Girls & Guys Said

218
  • One good way and one effective way:

    1) Give him something he really wants. It doesn't have to be a thing. If you don't know, ask him. If he's being evasive about it like "all I want is you" or something, get specific like "how do you want me?". Alternatively, tell him what you want. Think of something only he can give you. If you don't know you can ask for small favours like opening a door for you or something you can do yourself, but you want him to help you.
    Then it's important to praise him for giving random stuff and service. It will motivate him to try to give you more and more often.
    The key here is to do stuff together and to invest more and more constant effort into the relationship and having fun doing it. Because that's what makes you value each other more - investment.

    2) Have a fight and then make up. This is especially a good tactic for women, because they usually have a better sense of what's going on in the relationship and know how not to over do it. Not all though.
    But the basic principle is to break the monotony and, again, put in the effort to make up again consede in some way and show how your relationship is more important to you than the thing you are arguing about.
    Loss of a comfortable position let's you reevaluate what's good in that position and makes you want to work to regain it.
    In other words conflict matters. It keeps us interested.

    I hope you get that spark back and keep working for it. It doesn't come to you on it's own. This is r. l. not "happy ever after fiction" and it's much more interesting. Good luck!

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  • Take a trip together! start talking about your future together, maybe move in together. It's the bigger picture talk kinda. where do you two see yourselves in the next two years and so on. Of course you get comfortable when you are near each other which is good, you can make a plan like once a month you go a dine out, watch a movie, bowling etc.

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  • Most guys don’t want to talk all the time. He is just in his natural state. Ideally you have a girlfriend to talk to for hours while he watches netflix... or you dress your best & sexiest for going out & tell him you want to do something fun. That may motivate him. Guys are very visual.

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    • Or, give him less of what he wants when you don’t get what you want & more of what he wants when you do... then he will see the plus in what you want. But don’t try to make it all or nothing.

  • This is where you start to experiment with each other.

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    • Thank you. Could you explain more on what you mean?

  • bring in excitement, either by getting freaky in bed, or trying new stuff together. if you tried and the relationship continues to be dull then maybe its not right.

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  • Honestly. Its probably because you used to talk so much you have both run out of things to talk about. There may not be a lot new going on sometimes these things just happen

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  • Get something to do. Then when you do spend time together you'll have something to talk about. Stop overdosing on eachother, because everything gets boring if you do it too much.

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  • 3 months already lol wth hahah
    i dated a girl for 6-7 months and we were still in the beginning honeymoon stage 😂

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  • Now your finding out what each other are really like and you get to decide if you think you can simply exist together or not

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  • Joint a gym, sounds like all you do is eat and eat and eat. You hit the real world wall, now's the time. you decided if this is the person you want to spend the next 5+ years with.

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  • Every good relationship I've been in never got so stale after only 3 months. Seems early to have to generate excitement.

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  • The "honeymoon period" is supposed to start after you're married. If you're not feeling it, move on.

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  • Get involved more in each one of your lives/activities... go on a holiday together...

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  • Don’t put a label on it. Have fun, make an effort.

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  • Maybe he has a lot an his mind or tired

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  • Regenerate your old confidence

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  • there is a chance it is not meant to be

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  • Fun is over, time to divorce

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  • Anal.

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  • 3 months wow, damn short honeymoon...

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