IS he too cheap? Is that a bad thing?

I started dating this guy and I've noticed he's a bit stingy with money. The first few times we hungout it was chill, we smoked and he payed for the "stuff" lol.. it's pretty expensive but it's not like I smoked it all, as a matter of fact he kept most of it, so that was more so money spent on himself... On our most recent date I payed the bill because he "couldn't find his card", he did apologize and kept saying how embarrassing it was so maybe he was telling the truth.

I also feel like he waits til after our date is over to get food or eats before hand cuz we NEVER grab food together. he never asks if i'm hungry or offers to get me something... and we're just talking about the cheap stuff like mcdonalds. It's not a huge deal-breaker but it's nice to have a guy who's caring enough to offer to pay. When i offer to pay for something he doesn't stop me he completely accepts.

I'm trying to be as caring as possible w his financial situation so i don't suggest activities that i know cost a lot. We are both just 18/19, I'm currently unemployed but i live with my parents so iI don't worry about paying any bills, even my education is payed for, for now. Him on the other hand, is employed but doesn't go to school yet. He left his home town so he lives alone in an apartment which i know is very difficult.
Updates:
by the way he is a really nice guy, funny, honest, and for once a guy who isn't only trying to get in my pants! we have lots in common and I really wanted this to work but I don't know what to do now:/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn’t sound like he’s cheap, just that he doesn’t have a lot of expendable income so he’s living within his means. There is nothing wrong with that

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seems like a red flag to me. If he's stingy with money in the "honeymoon phase" imagine what will happen when it's been a couple years.

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    • Response to update:

      If that's his only bad quality, I wouldn't say it's worth breaking up over. Talk to him about this.

    • thank u!!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i think for a relationship to be healthy and successful all parties musy be on an equal footing. anything else will one day breed resentment

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  • Bills add up. Us guys can only hide how expensive women are for so long.

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    • that's why I feel so bad!! I don't wanna make it about the money but I really like it when a guy is generous enough to at least offer...

    • Don't feel bad about what he already has spent. He spent that in good faith and would not want you to feel bad.

      But don't look down upon him for being a bit more frugal. Maybe he is saving so that the next splurge he does on you, he can do it with less financial anxiety.

  • Break up.

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    • If the principal of him being "stingy" is too much for you. Leave him. Let him be good to someone else who will appreciate him for who he is, rather than his money.

    • obviously I appreciate him for more than his money...

  • He's poor, not cheap. Two very different things.

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  • Ask him to pay you back

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    • hahaha i could never say that! he said "i gotta pay u back now" (i know he's not actually going to) so i insisted it was okay even though i'm more broke then him

  • Talk to him

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