Should I attempt to find the father of my baby?

A few months ago I hooked up with a totally random guy I met at a party. I was drunk and it was a HUGE mistake. Anyway, as a result I go pregnant. I decided to keep the baby well because I don’t believe in abortions. I’m 6 months pregnant now and I’m feeling very emotional. All my friends and family keep on asking about the father (where , who he is etc etc) and I haven’t said anything so far. I’m really stressed out and I just want to be honest with everyone however my parents may stop talking to me because of the situation surrounding my pregnancy. I’ve been doing some thinking and I believe I was probably a bit unfair in not trying to find out who he is. I mean I’m sure he’d want to know that he’s about to be a dad. What should I do? Should I continue to keep this secret from my parents? Should I find him and let him know? I’m stressed tf out.
Updates:
So I told my parents everything. My mom cried, dad looked pretty pissed but they told me I have their full support and I'll have their help raising my child. It honestly feels so good getting that weight off my chest. Thanks to everyone who took the time out to respond in a compassionate way.

1|0
521

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the best thing you could do is find him because he has the right to know that there is going to be a child of his out there rather than 18years down the line your child going to look for their dad.

    Are you 100% it is this guys, as that is important also. I don't like to assume. Something you need to keep in mind is that you have decided to keep this baby and he might not want anything to do with it at all. You need to mentally prepare for that. However he might surprise you and want to be involved, and if not him his parents you can't assume how it is going to do but the main point here is he needs to know.

    As for your parents, might be worth talking to them and tell them about your plan to get in contact with the guy and go from there. Just be the adult and have a frank conversation but you are trying to make the decisions that you feel are right for you.

    1|0
    0|1

Most Helpful Guy

  • No point telling you what you should have done 6 months ago... but seriously don't take mistakes as unerasable parts of your life. You should have asked for guidance from friends and family right at the begining.
    But it's not too late. Talk to your parents. I mean eventually you will, so save yourself the stress. You're still their daughter, after all.
    About seeking out the father... up to you, in all honesty. There is no telling how he will react to this. But I think I agree with your decision. Tell him about this, and if he wishes to support you, well and good. If he doesn't at least it'll be a clean break and you can stop worrying about that particular matter.
    Whatever you do, don't lose your strength :). All the best.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm really happy they took it this way.
      Take care, of your kid and yourself. I sincerely hope the father accepts some if not all responsibility as well.
      Wishing you the best :)

    • thank you <3

    • Always a pleasure :)

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

420
  • Curious, what have you told them so far? If you think you can find him, absolutely try to and let him know. It's just as much his child as it is yours! If you can't, as far as what to say to family, I'd just be honest but also don't have to go into specific details either. Just say something like you're embarrassed, but that the father wasn't a boyfriend and you're not sure how to contact/find him. That's what I'd say anyway.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I told them that the father was a friend from college. They didn't believe though

  • Well if i was the guy who knocked you up first iff he probs didn't want to be the father first off and you kept it he is going to have to pay child care eventually. Or the kid will come looking for him and he will of had no clue. I think your a bad person in my opinion for doing that to the child and him. At the least let him know if not for the child for him and the child.

    0|1
    0|0
  • A child as a result of a one night stand? I say find him but be prepared for him to not want anything to do with it. I think you should let your parents know as they're going to find out sooner or later.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's on you to find him and tell him. Whatever he does with that information is on him. As far as your parents go, honesty is always the best policy. Good luck with both!

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yup! Gotta tell him. That's the easy part.

    Parents? That's the hard one. Maybe... a man you fell out of contact with? That's kinda, grey and not too bad right?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You can't keep it a secret from your parents for long. I'd tell them pretty soon. As far as the guy I do think that you should try to find him to at least let him know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should look up for him...
    But be prepared cuz he's gonna have a shock... so think this good and what you'll say and how... cuz for him is gonna be a real shock

    0|0
    0|0
  • Man... How are these people getting wild freaky sex when I just keep running into weirdos... Story of my life 😭😭

    0|1
    0|0
  • yea you gotta let the father know about it (even tho it might not be a surprise if he tries to deny it).

    0|0
    0|1
  • yeah i do think you should find out and you should probably tell your parents... i mean they will find out sooner or later xD

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes look for him. Give him the chance to know he’s going to be a father.

    0|1
    0|1
  • just to be sure in that time there was only 1 guy you slept with right? there weren't more flings that perhaps didn't come up in your mind?

    second, the guy might not want anything to do with you and is going to avoid having to pay child support... on that note you just destroyed your own future and you will destroy his future if you tell him.

    abortion isn't something to be believed, it's an important tool to erase 'mistakes' much like you go to your pastors to erase your 'sins'. it is something that is, doesn't need believing.

    0|0
    1|0
  • And that's why you don't hook up with random guys at parties! Find the dad get child support.

    0|0
    0|1
  • along with what Chaz269 said-i gotta respect you for keeping the baby despite your circumstances

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you think it's the best thing to do, then go ahead

    0|0
    0|0
  • Would be nice since the child will ask about dad someday

    0|0
    0|0
  • What about his beliefs?

    0|0
    1|0
  • Party and drunk. Both mistakes

    0|0
    0|0
  • U shuld have done tht wen u found out u was preg

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you can , find him.. Why not?

    0|0
    0|1
  • Find him

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do you wish to? You know the answer

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends why not find him and see whether he is ready for such a responsibility before you tell him. After all a bad father can make your life a million times more stressful

    0|0
    0|0
  • Drunk is no excuse. It was slutty behavior and now a price.

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...