Is it possible to have a relationship with someone who hates themselves?

Looking for your thoughts. Personal experience welcomed.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course. And if you manage to cure him of these thoughts, make him confident, he'll be indebted to you forever! He'll love you more than anything because you'll be the special person who brought him out of his self loathing cocoon he has weaved for himself.

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    • I've just found it so damn near impossible to "cure" someone like that.

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    • true. thanks!

    • No probs! Stay happy :-)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I'm in a relationship and I don't really like myself? But I try to... So it's possible but only if u make efforts to overcome your self hatred. Because with time u will feel worthless even if someone truly loves you.. And that'll give them hard time.

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What Girls & Guys Said

516
  • It's possible to have a relationship, but I think it's pretty near impossible to have a good relationship with someone like that.

    My ex-wife had self-esteem issues and it became a major problem. At first, she would say things like that she didn't deserve me which I didn't really understand because I thought highly of her, but I took as a compliment. I tried to praise her and tell her the things I liked about her but I think she just kind of ignored that. She'd take any criticism to heart, but would brush off any praise.

    Over time she became more negative and started criticizing me a lot (in most cases I think unjustifiably). My theory is that she was trying to tear me down in hopes of feeling better about herself. By the end of the marriage, she would not only ignore compliments I gave her, but would respond with some kind of nasty remark and also by saying that she knew I didn't mean it but was just trying to manipulate her. (The truth is that I did mean it when I complimented her. Though she didn't believe it, she really did have positive attributes.)

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  • Depends on the degree of self hate and how the individual handles that self hatred. It's a ticking clock that has an expiration, either because the other person gets exhausted by it or the self-hater would inadvertently or purposely sabotage the relationship

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    • why do you ask op?

    • just was in an unsuccessful relationship with a guy who hated himself

  • Yes but the chances are it will be a shitty and soul sucking relationship that will leave you drained and depressed. It's hard to love someone who refuses to even like themselves, just as it's hard to save someone from drowning when they are actively chaining lead weights to their ankles.

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  • It's quite difficult. You have to up to the challenge.

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  • No you'd just be constantly reassuring them and that'd tiring

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  • No, never, they have pathetic mummy issues that they will eventually take out on you

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  • You hate yourself? Little advice, if you just convince yourself that it's not worth hating yourself, then that just makes life easier. Look, when I talk to someone in a recreational context, I'm looking to have a fun and interesting convo, so yeah it's possible, but it's hard because when someone I'm talking to isn't enjoying them self, then It makes it less worthwhile. If I see someone I'm talking to is having a bad time, one thing I might do is point out something I know will make them smile, because with someone I'm in a relationship with, if they're not happy (with them self) I want to help them with that before anything else.

    If you feel bad about yourself, find something you love, about you and remind yourself of it, there has to be something.

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  • You Can’t Love Someone who doesn’t love themselves it never enough.

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  • No how can you love them if they do not love themselves

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  • I am that kind of person 😂😂 and to be honest with you is not worth the struggle

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  • Please don't make that mistake!

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  • I think it would be a bad idea.

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  • It's possible but it will be highly unlikely.

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  • No they will push you away eventually

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  • No they'll ruin you emotionally

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  • No way

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  • yeah but you're not going to enjoy it

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  • Boy I sure hope so.

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  • Well if it is "useful" relationship... Who knows.

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  • yes, just have a real talk with them and explain why they should love themselves

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