Friends boyfriend has said he feels too attached to her , what should she do?

So a friend of mine has been dating this guy not very long for a bout 3 months or so.

They do see quite a lot of each other , but they also go to the same uni as well. She had this situation where she has family issues recently which has upset her and it took it's toll on her and she broke down in front of her "boyfriend" She was in tears, he was holding his head in his arms, then he left her. He's messaged her that he feels too attached to her that's it best if they "slow" things.


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  • He's not looking for a heavily committed emotional relationship right now. That doesn't mean he won't change, but it sounds like he just can't give her what she needs right now.
    She needs to decide if she wants a casual relationship with him, which seems to be what he wants, or if she just wants to be friends until the future comes.

    • but that'd be him feeling she's too attached to him. Why didn't he just say that. its confusing the way he worded it as him feeling too attached to her.

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    • @UnaKaizen that's what I was wondering. Could he be blame shifting here? She's got a poorly family member that she's concerned about, he makes some joke about going to another part of the city without her. She's like ok. Everything with her family member overwhelmed her which resulted in her crying. He thinks it's about his "joke" he made.

    • its possible he's just really self absorbed so he sees her experience an attack on him. in that case its hard to tell if he's being manipulative on purpose, yet none the less...

      like it seems he said he's getting too attached rather than just saying he wants something casual to keep her feeling like there's a connection , but in a way that leaves him entirely exempt of any responsibility. 'hes attached' and can't handle it. so she can't

      be with him bc itll make him sad. she can't leave him bc itll make him sad. she can't discuss it with him bc itll mke him sad. she can't ignore him bc itll make him sad.

      she can't do anything other than exactly what & how he wants, the second he wants it and if she doesn't magically know when that is she's 'hurting' him. he really sounds like a piece of work. i hope she fully leaves him.

      if i were her id talk to him first, more for her than him, so she an see what she's really dealing with-then go.

      best of luck to her.

  • if he was attached he wouldn't want to leave, i dont think he's being honest. or maybe he thinks it makes him sound deep. he just sounds like its a little too much reality for a Saturday night. wanker.


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