Is he becoming too comfortable in our relationship?

This guy and I have been dating for three months now, and comparing to the first two months, I would say that the 3rd month has been a bit different: Although we meet up still pretty frequently, he calls/texts less than before. We used to want to jump into the bed immediately after seeing each other every time, but now we have sex way less (at most once a week) and he would suggest other sexless activities like simply eating in bed while watching Netflix. He also seem to stop doing the chasing after three months, as he would sometimes just expect me to take care of him and give him attention. This is my first serious relationship so I'm not sure what to do next. Is this normal? Or should I do something to spice things up? Thoughts?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think many girls love and become almost addicted to the “moonlighting phase” of a relationship; when infatuation and emotions run high, in the beginning. However, usually it lasts longer than a few months, for me it starts fading after two years and think it’s why lots of relationships last two years. You have to transition to being able to do very practical, unsexy, impersonal, responsible things together and both learned how annoying the other person is and how much they take you for granted.
    What you should keep in mind is to not get too comfortable, be spontaneous and not fixated on what you don’t want to do but express and do what you do want to do, and make plans and be open to being spontaneous and creative; with with plans or day-to-day time together

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 3 months seem quick to be over the honeymoon phase and in a healthy relationship levels of effort should be maintained and want to be maintained. If he is already getting comfortable to the point where he is half assing it then I dont think he is as invested in the relationship and it is a red flag.

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    • There is no better explanation than this, you said it perfectly.

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    • You can't have some cryptic female conversion about taking someone for granted and then dump him when he doesn't connect the dots. If you want him to do something, be SPECIFIC. If he doesn't change after that, then you dump him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

018
  • Yup. This is how life is. If either of you have to chase the other one around, what's the point of being in a relation?
    This happens. But still make sure you're not taken too much for granted. There has to be a sense that you're loved, both from him and you. It'll just be a tamer variety of affection than you had going during the first couple months.

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  • 'Sometimes just expect me to take care of him and give him attention' isn't that what you do in a relationship? Granted if its one sided that is a bad sign (why I hate chasing women. Feels like 'entertain me dancing monkey' imo).

    After 3 months you should know whether you like him for him or you like him for the attention he gives you.

    You should try and spice things up if you want to continue seeing him. Otherwise why bother?

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  • You can spice things up, its usually very welcome, but I would have to tell you it's rare that he would be trying to get to know you and learn what you are like. He's making an effort to know you. I would consider that to be quite special.

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  • The chase is over once you're in a serious relationship.

    It sounds like he wants to spend time with YOU and not just your body.

    You should make sure he knows you need care and attention too.

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  • There shouldn't be such a drop off in sex after only three months. And just expecting you to care for him and give him attention? He sounds like a dud.

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  • Honeymoon is over. It's interesting that his libido is dropped.

    If you come on to him I'm sure he will be happy to reciprocate, but if he isn't chasing you anymore that's a bit of a crappy situation. Maybe tease him a bit to get him to remember you're a catch and he should keep up his A game? Nothing serious, don't make him mad but... Yeah...

    Another useful note is that guys like to DO a thing. You tell him to do something and he will be like a puppy, he'll do it and come back and want to be praised. But you need to tell him! If you just expect him to know what you want he will be confused and not do anything.

    Anyhow, hope this helps, good luck

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  • After 3 months and you want to spice things up already ! How long do you want to be chased when you already been caught?

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  • The honeymoon phase is over (hormone levels get back normal) with him but not with you yet. I would suggest to see it rational. It was the biological drive that has made the first 2-3 months the way they were. It's normal. The outcome after the honeymoon phase is either adult love, or nothing. If you have the impression that he isn't loving you, there is nothing left to do. You can terminate the relationship. If he is loving you (test it yourself) then what you have now will be the new normal. If you like to have more sex with him, you got to be the initiator.

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  • This is absolutely normal.
    A serious relationship is different than just having sex.

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  • Either he's getting comfortable in your relationship or he's losing interest- somethin' you should figure out which sooner than later.

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  • ask him what is wrong with him, maybe he is interested in someone else

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  • That's how low test men work. They come for the pussy and then stay for the mommy surrogate

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  • He's gay

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  • Yeah throw him to the curb

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  • Sounds like he's getting ready to move on.

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  • if you want more sex get weird.

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  • It's normal

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  • You're so gonna cheat on him... Nice.

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