His friends make me feel like I'm controlling my boyfriend, how do I seem controlling?

I have recently got into a new relationship, we have been together for 2-3 weeks and he spends a lot of time with me. He's really sweet and charming, he goes out of his way for me. But recently his friends have been complaining they don't see him because he's always with me and I always encourage him to make time for them but he'll just respond with "I'll arrange a day to see them".

He'll talk to them on phone or text to keep up to date but I hate it when his friends say "he's under his girlfriend's thumb" because it makes me look like I'm controlling him. He always has a choice I don't force him to do anything and I've spoken to him about this and he says "I don't let anyone force me to do anything, have you ever thought that the reason I spend so much time with you is because I like being around you?" then I'll just say that he can spend time with me AND spend time with his friends.

Then there's his gay friend of his who doesn't like me who says "he does what she wants him to do because she uses sex to bribe him"... we haven't had sex yet as we both decided to have a sexual health check up and waiting back on the test results. I like to play it safe as we both have had hook up's. I'm not with him for sex, I like him a lot and I respect him.

With his history of girlfriends, he gets played around a lot and he has told me it's rare for him to get a girl's attention. I don't ask him to go out of his own way for me, he just does and he surprises me. I just don't like that his friend's think when I ask him to jump he asks how high... I'm always reassuring him he can say no, that he doesn't have to do what I want to do, that I'm okay doing it on my own, that he doesn't have to ask for my permission to do what he wants etc...


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Two weeks and you two see each other all the time and are sexually active? This is a micro-wave relationship. You're on pace to marry and divorce by your nine month anniversary.

    Way too fast for my taste.

    • I normally don't have these issues until much later but maybe it's a younger generation. They move faster?

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    • You obviously didn’t read the whole description

    • Also who said anything about getting married? Dude just because your relationships didn’t work out doesn’t mean mine won’t. Chill man you’re the one bringing up marriage in my 2 weeks relationship, not me 😂

  • No offence but his "friends" sound like a bunch of wimpy kids. I read carefully what you wrote and I can see no reason why you should feel bad. He's obviously head-over-heels into you. You are not controlling him and he just loves spending time with you. Ignore what those losers are saying and instead of constantly reminding him that he's free to do as he like, make sure you show him you like the fact that he's putting you before everyone else. Few men do that nowadays.

  • If you and you partner understand that there is no problem just tell you partner to tell his friends not to act like that


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