We have been "eye flirting" for several months, what is my next step?

So this guy and at the gym have been "eyeflirting" aka prolonged eyecontact for quite a long time now. The only other interacton we have had was when I thought i had locked myelf out (We live in the same housing, but he lives on a floor above) and he asked if i need help to get in. Half a second later i realised it was open and i was like "never mind, hahah" and we both kinda laugh, smiled, had eyecontact, and that was it.

I have only felt like i have had one chance before that to actually talk to him, which was at party. But he was surrounded by people and the only place availavble was next to his friend ( I had no idea they were friends) and i ended up talking to his friend the whole night.

At this point im like "why dont i just talk to him?" I dont know him, but we have had an very breef conversation before so its not odd per say for me to say hi. The thing is I rarely seem him anymore, that is at the gym as well at uni. So is my next step to just say hi and smile when i see him? I know im overthinking it, but i have never just interacted with a guy for no apprant reason whom i was interested in
Any advice on how to be casual and cute about it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. You are definitely turning a small talk plan into rocket science. We know, you are the woman, you should be approached, You are the passive agent, sitting there, expecting everything to fly into your direction. But the world has changed. Men are not desperately looking for women anymore. They are relaxed. They think, I'm fine alone, if she really wants me, she must make the first step. If she doesn't, fine with me, I can save a lot of money. So who is the one in charge do you think? Him? Lol!

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    • Well yeah, i dont expect him to make the first move so i dont see why this is relevant to be to be honest

    • You have to know what's relevant. Background info is always good to have. One has to know his own position before a next step is to be taken, right? I gave you a little bit of material. Use it to as you wish.

Most Helpful Girl

  • How precious eye flirting sounds.

    Do something that is more interesting, shocking or something you think you will regret. Unless, eye flirting is, perhaps, too intense.

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What Girls & Guys Said

118
  • Next time when you see him, go and say hi to him. Start with small talks. You'll know quickly while talking if he's interested in you or not. If he's interested maybe he'll make next move otherwise maybe ask him to help you out with something, or maybe go to someplace and have coffee, lunch or movie. Maybe throw a small party and invite him

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  • Ask him to spot you during squats hehehehe.
    Tbh just be straight forward when you see him,, ask if he wanna grab a bite or drink. Maybe some Netflix without the chill.
    Guys like things simple, so just go for it. Who knows, he might be afraid he misjudged the eye flirting

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    • Yeah, I might have even misjudged the eyeflirting, but if I never try to get in contact with him I'll never know. I'll try to just smile and say hi and see how he reacts and i'll take action based on that

  • Well... Just say hi and smile, just like you said. You could also make a comment about the weather or something in your environment (those flowers are really pretty, don't you think?, something like that)

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  • Maybe he is reading something behind you. Never let yourself fool yourself into something as stupid as "eye-flirting".
    If you think thats a real thing your not ready for a relationship

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    • Well maybe, but its hard to belive he is reading something behind me when he looks at me as we walk past eacother. I can normally see if people are looking at me or near be based on eyecontact. Why is "eyeflirting" stuipd in your opinion?

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    • If you have all the answers then just do it no need to ask random people on the Internet what to do next if you already know what you wanna do?

    • Well my opinion is based on what advice i have gotten from other people online, you were one of the later responses. In addition you were one of the only people who didn't even try to help or assist in any shape or form. If you had actually tried to be helpful instead of just making comments about how you think eyeflirting isn't a "real"thing for example, I would've tried to consider it at least.

  • When you do see him again, use his absence at the Gym as a "reason to" strike up a conversation. Tell him, when you are about to leave, that you'd like his number if he's okay with that, then wait till later and call him. Don't text.

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  • Just try to find out what he does or study, then you have excuse to talk to him, make conversation and plans

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    • I know what he studies and i know where he lives, what he studies is something i have basically no knowledge about

    • just make some cupcakes then go to his door and ask him "Hey i made some cupcakes (or something) to my mom but i dont have any body home to see if they are good, can you give me your opinion?"

      or ask him to help you with your computer (doing something) or say that you want to buy something for your father but you don´t understand man stuff and ask for a oppinion

  • Sometimes men just appreciate a beautiful body. by the way ever heard saying " never date from your neighborhood and where you work

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  • Just talk to him. Keep it small talk. Dont pressure yourself. Start as friends. Step by step working towards more than friends.

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    • Step by step is a good way to go! But just talking to him without knowing what to say might be a bit more tricky

    • I hit a girl with this line ' i dont know what to say to you, but i know that you are way better with improvisation then me.' She blushed and suddenly it just worked with her. Subtile conversations are the best. Instead of well planned convo's. Just do it ! :)

    • Oh come on now! You have nothing to say? What about "what's your name?" for starter? Women can talk 24/7, and you want to tell me you've got no idea what to say? University, movies, music, dancing. Ask me in one hour and I make you a list with 500 topics. My god, excuses excuses :D :D :D

  • The next time you see him, ask if he'd like a coffee or something. You need a conversation to get anything going here!

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  • Just tell him that you want like to hang out with him sometime.

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    • I know, thats what i haveen thinking! And if i do approach him and he doesn't like me at least I know and dont have to think about it anymore

    • Yup :) besides even if he says "no" it's not like he's going to look down on you for it. He would likely respect you for it.

  • Why he's just a friend you havn't met yet. Just walk over introduce yourself say hi it's not hard.

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  • Kiss that boy right on the lips.

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    • Yeah, sure, sexual harassment is always the way to go

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    • Nearest*

    • Women have little to nope problem with that.

  • Eye flirting for several months?

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  • Yes. Smile and talk to him. Simplify girl.

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  • He doesn't want you.

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  • Just go up and ask for his number

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  • Cock riding

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  • What a lot of women fail to realize is that just because we maintain long eye contact, doesn't mean we want anything more. I had a woman become infatuated after prolonged eye contact but I only liked her looks, that was all. Now I am more careful.

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    • Im. not assuming he wants more though, but he obviously like what he sees so i dont see the issue with getting in contact to see if there is any potential for something else. Also he doesn't know me, how on earth should he know if he is interested or not

  • You could slip a note under his door saying "Call me" with your number on it and signed, "Girl from floor beneath you". That's my best guess if you don't see him often.

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    • That would be too cheesy

    • @DellBoy but if she never saw him it'd get the job done.. If he's interested he wouldn't mind things starting slightly cheesy especially if they rarely ever saw each other. If he wasn't interested then he'd never call and she'd get the hint.

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