Why do men sleep around and receive praise, but women receive shame?

Every guy I know in my life including my cousins, uncles, my father, my grandfathers, all my friends I met in high school, in the military, and in college have literally all been turned off by women with high numbers in regards to relationships, but they even have said they won't mention that to a woman because it will be preceived as insecurity or judgmental. It can't just be a double standard, there has to be some biologcal reason as to why we are conditioned as men to seek out women who have not had a lengthy sexual past and I don't think it's just insecurity. There has to be some logic as to why we are conditioned to think this way. I personally know first hand how much it hurts to see a woman you love in this lens that she has been sexual with so many other men. My ex had a huge count. You don't say anything but sometimes it just hits you and it hurts because you love them and deep inside you sort of think that it's a little less special if she handed it out to everyone and you're just one of them. I also have a high count and I'm not saying I'm shouldn't be negatively judged, but these are still my thoughts.

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  • It’s biological, specifically evolutionary biology. I used to believe society had a slight hand in this matter but now I’m starting to think more and more that it is strictly biological. Men didn’t want a woman to have another man’s genes or child inside of them, so that’s one reason. Men didn’t want to worry if a woman was going to be unfaithful and act on impulse because it makes no sense for women to have multiple partners to begin with—hence why it’s unnatural for women to have a high count. It’s unnatural because women HAVE NOT developed a mating strategy for accumulating many partners but men have. Women wouldn’t be able to focus on their offspring if they had too many partners plus pregnancy takes a HUGE toll on woman. Women can’t have unlimited babies, so pickiness exists. Also there’s a biological clock women have, a short window for having healthy children.

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    • Men do not. Men, up to 80 years old can still produce children. Hence why men gravitate towards younger women because they are more fertile. I can go on about character, STDs, etc. on why women with high #s are undesirable. It’s NOT the same for men, but under political correctness, I have to say it is...

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    • What are your thoughts on the character of promiscuous women?

    • Lol, lots of things... where to start...
      1) The judgement of these types of women are faulty because by virtue of their engagement with indiscriminate sex means that they do not care about their safety or self respect. There’s just no way to vet all of the men that they are having sex with, which is why it’s called casual or indiscriminate sex in the first place. Do you really think a woman of good judgement would do such a thing? What if the man abuses you? What is the man is a felon? By having indiscriminate sex as a woman you automatically increase your victimization. It’s not an indicator of good judgment to sleep with men that you do not know very well, you can’t by the inherent nature of casual sex.
      2) Inclination towards other bad or rebellious behaviors. Women who engage in acts of indiscriminate behavior also are highly likely to do other undesirable acts that aren’t good for her, you, and possibly children
      3) inclination towards disloyalty. Should I even explain this?

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1213
  • I don't respect guys who sleep around.

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  • Honestly, I really don’t fully know why.

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    • But you agree there has to be more to it than just all men in the world being insecure, right? Like there has to be some biological reason as to why we are conditioned like this.

    • I assume so. I mean, it could be insecurity in some cases, socialization, biology, it’s odd.

  • Maybe it has something to do with expectations. A guy is pretty much expected to think with his dick. Therefore if he fucks a lot of girls he's behaving as expected. Not only that, he is probably desirable because girls tend to have more choice when it comes to sex and can be more discerning (because guys are more desperate in general). If a lot of girls have all succumbed to one guy then it would suggest he has a certain status, physically or otherwise.

    Girls are not thought of as thinking with their vaginas. They are thought of as being more discerning, partly because any decent looking girl can afford to be. Again, many men are desperate. It's like the question of why girls don't respond much on dating sites and it's likely because they are bombarded with male attention all day long.

    So, if a girl has slept with a lot of men it doesn't necessarily indicate tht she is particularly desirable because she probably doesn't need to be and yet it does seem to indicate that she is not very discerning. So the overall impression is of lesser values, lesser self respect, etc.

    This is all based on stereotypes and perceptions, I'm not suggesting that these are objective facts.

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  • Well for starters I think that is exaggerated. Its not like promiscuous men are praised by everyone and promiscuous women are are shamed by everyone. There are people who shame promiscuous men and tolerate/accept promiscuous women but overall it is true that promiscuous men are more likely to be praised/envied while women are pretty much never praised/envied for sleeping around and are more likely to be shamed.

    As far as being praised/envied the reason why that happens more to men is because casual sex is a lot harder for men to get. Generally men need to be above average in terms of physical attractiveness, confidence, and social status to consistently get women to have sex without expecting commitment. Women on the other hand don't need to be above average in any category to consistently find men willing to have casual sex with with them. For women getting a man to commit is what is difficult for them.

    So because of that you aren't going to find many women who are envious or congratulating other women who sleep around because its something she could have easily done herself if she wanted to.

    As for why women are more likely to be shamed thats more complicated and I don't feel like writing anymore but in a way I guess part of it does link back to the fact men and women don't experience the same sexual opportunities.

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  • Personally I think it's mostly because getting laid for women is kinda like beating up small kids when you are an adult male at the prime of your life. Generally speaking it's so easy, that no matter how many you beat (=sleep with), that it'll never be considered anything worth "glorifying".

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    • Only applies to really attractive women, and even then the men that they have in their pool of men to have sex with, are mainly men of low quality. Since most of these men will just sleep with a woman and not commit, it is the antithesis of what women want. If you’ve had very few experiences with women, you’d think they have a pool of guys to choose from but that notion is heavily vague when articulated upon. It depends on the woman mainly and not the fact that she’s biologically a woman, that validates or invalidates your post.

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    • @PoliceLivesMatter If that's what helps you sleep at night then sure.

  • I wrote something about it a while back. Have fun.

    First of all, few important points before we get started;

    •In today's society (and also the past) men aren't praised for sleeping around with a lot of women.

    •Very frequently men are being called men w*ores, f*ckboys, or that people assume they are j*rks, or a**holes (sorry sorry sorry for the language).

    •Feminism and feminists literally promote this disgusting behavior, saying it's just a female empowerment, or a woman who enjoys her sexuality. (The point is that a big movment like feminism doesn't shame any woman for doing it, but promote it).

    •Men can be sl*ts too if they speard their anus for random people or not so random people everyday.

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    • First thing, It's easy for women to find men to have s*x with, unlike for men, who have to be charming, good looking, do all the hard work, we all know that, when women just speard their legs and say yes.

      Even if we take a look at nature! Mammals to be specific, let's take the elephants.

      When the female elephant is ready to "make love", she makes these specific sounds to attract potetional males.

      When the males reach her, they start fighting each other, to determine which male is the "alpha" male.

      The male elephant that has survived all the fights and won of course, gets to be with the female elephant. All she has to do is speard her b*tt cheeks and let him on top haha. (And of course, a lot of males don't even survive after the act :\)

      So we humans obviously don't do that this way, but a man still needs to have all this charm and strength to make a woman choose him for a father material.

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    • "And no, I am not saying women and men should save themselevs for marriage (even though that's what I'm kinda doing lol), but don't speard your legs to someone you just met or to different people everyday."

      I honestly agree. I can personally say that having sex with so many women has literally altered my views in a negative way of how I view women and sort of desensitized me to what sex actually means. I agree that you shouldn't have to wait till marriage but I think the dating scene would be much better if we actually had some sort of discipline in regards to who we have sex with and not just have sex with anyone.

    • Yeah I agree with that

  • I don't think it's biological, your surroundings condition you to feel certain things, when the vast majority look down on it than it seems normal to look down on it as well, women don't like to think of their men sleeping with a bunch of women before them either even if men praise eachother for it, it's not biolical it is just an insecurity that people can have when they care about someone

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  • A sexist double standard propped up to help make men feel less insecure.

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  • Because it's seen that it's "up to" the female, that all guys want sex so if it happens it's because the female agreed. Which makes no sense and illogical. I hate the word "slut"

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  • Christianity and Catholicism has shape our world and they both workshop the devil so go figure

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  • It's definitely more societal nowadays, but it does have a background rooted in biology. I'm not going to bore you with the details (unless you want me to), but based on evolutionary biology, since men are able to reproduce easier (aka sperm; not carrying the child), it's "normal" they have many partners. Women only have a set, small amount, of eggs, which means we have less chances to reproduce, especially since we carry the child for 9 mo. Ipso facto: men=more partners, women= less partners. In the past, a female who has had a lot of partners means less chance for the male to get her pregnant.
    But now we have birth control, so this idea should be moot. Which brings me back to the point that it is now a societal double standard more than anything.

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  • Honestly, who cares who anyone sleeps with when its there personal life and it doesn't impact you. There shouldn't be shame towards how people want to live there lives whether that's publicly or somewhere not personal like in the bedroom.

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    • You're sort of young, but have you ever actually been in love with a woman in a legitimate way past infatuation? Like legitimate love and plans of marriage. I hate to throw the age card but I thought the same way when I was your age and for the longest time, but when you actually love a woman, it does hurt to think that she's been sexual with so many other men and it makes it a little less special.

    • @OatsnWhey I honestly didn't consider my age so yes I would say I do have an inexperience when it comes to this topic, also you would be correct I have never been in love with a woman past being devoted for a matter of months. So I guess that my opinion may be a bit useless due to lack of experience.

  • To quote a saying, a key that opens all locks is a master key, but a lock that is opened by all keys is a shitty lock.

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  • That's an easy one. Because it's biologically defined. Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive. Men have 20 times higher levels of sexual hormones in their blood than women do. For a good reason. A woman has to have a child with one man (doesn't work in another way). Men have to have children with many women (works exceptionally good). This is making reproduction easier. Men try to exclude all other men from reproduction with their females. That's why an "untouched" female is preferred. Just have a look at nature. We are no exception. We are primates. Culture can't override our reptilian brain.

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  • I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander we can so why can't they fucking oath they can they are still human

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  • It's what this society thinks is normal for the guys to do and woken its shame full to do

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  • Because of a stupid double standard.

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  • Both are winners.

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  • I dont shame women for being promiscuous. Quite the contrary. In general i prefer dating promiscuous women. They usually more fun, more open minded, the sex is great and theyre not too tight.

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    • Serious dating though or just more casual fun going to do fun things and enjoying each others company? I agree with you if that's what you're referencing.

    • Either way. I mean just because i am dating her doesn't mean that i own her...

    • i almost married a very promiscuous girl and dated them all the time. girl cheated on me when we had our wedding date with another girl. girls i've fucked still hit me up while they now have boyfriend etc.. just see repeated patterns

  • Regardless of politically based 'double standard' arguments, I'd agree that it is intrinsic. I've never in my life felt the desire or need to sleep with lots of men, only those I fall for n love with, which is rare, so therefore they are special to me. I'd say your argument ties in with those natural instincts. As to why it's disliked so much... I'm not sure either... maybe it highlights a contrast of values? If your values differ it's less likely to last.

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    • *fall in love with

    • I'd say it highlights values in relation to looking for a worthwhile relationship over less worthwhile pursuits, men who sleep around a lot are also less attractive for this reason, he can still have plenty of experience from being with various partners long term, in fact I'd say he's more likely to learn how to be a better liver that way.

    • *lover

      Instead of ONSs and never really learning what really works well.

  • What I meant my I wife I was a virgin and she had many sex partners before it didn't bother me any

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    • I'm not denying your experience but it's none the less pretty rare from what I've seen.

  • Men likely evolved to fall in love to help boost the chance that their most promising offspring survived.

    That only works if the woman is faithful to you.

    I could speculate more but that’s a good starting point.

    Women don’t have the same risk from promiscuous men and in fact male promiscuity might be a trait they’d benefit from their sons inheriting.

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  • I feel like the constant judging of women over how many men they slept with and how they look (another topic for another time) are traces from a not-so-long ago patriarch society where women were considered the property of men.

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  • We shame both gender if they sleep around

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    • Women get shamed much more though

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    • Well, I'm asking a question in regards to why lol. I just wanted some insight so you telling me what you are isn't really bringing any constructive value to the discussion. You're just saying it;s wrong and you're entitled to that, but the question here is why.

    • Because men are portrayed as pervert minded except for family members, and women are always adviced to be cautious, so when she is the one who acts out, the blame has more weight since she is portrayed as someone who’s innocent.

  • Because women receive too much hate

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