Why do some partners want to be begged to stay?

My girlfriend recently broke up with me and moved out, in the week she spent away before moving out of our place she asked if I wanted to talk, I said no cause I accepted her decision. She stormed out and said we were over and that she was moving out. The night she left I messaged her saying I really wish she hadn't left. She messaged me back and said that was unfair and that I should've told her when she asked if I wanted to talk. This seems like she wanted me to beg her to stay, is that a messed up thing to expect? She knew I didn't want her to leave, why did I need to tell her again and did I make the right decision by letting her go?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just to be fair, based on what you wrote she never wanted to be begged to stay. Rather, she wanted to have a discussion prior to moving all of her stuff out, etc. And in all fairness to say that 'she KNEW you didn't want her to leave' is not necessarily an accurate statement. You can assume that becaise of tje way you felt or your past history but, you cannot confirm it and therefore its not true. Did you mess up? Only time will tell. Just reach out to her and be honest. Try being honest all the time too. What i mean by that is, learn to swallow your pride sometimes. Dont put yourself in this situation again by telling her how you really feel when tou feel it. Not 3+ hours later... best of luck!

    • But she has a history of abruptly threatening to leave or break up with me at the end of fights, she's left before and come back and we had a discussion on how she shouldn't do that. The Sunday night she initially left I told her that if she stays we'll fight and make it work. But if she leaves again that's it, and she left. And the next text I get is a goodbye one and saying she's leaving in a couple of days, giving me details on how she rented a van. My stance didn't change but if she wanted to leave so badly what more was I to do?

    • Nothing bro. I didn't realize this was habitual for her. You stood your ground, now youve just got to hold it. Stay strong, no one deserves to be jerked around like that.

    • Thanks for MHO!

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Don't degrade yourself and beg unless you did something bad to drive her away, in which case you may deserve to be a little degraded. She could just have an ego problem or she may have somehow felt unwanted. You should have talked to her when she asked so maybe you could have figured out what was going on. After that it would have been easier to figure out if she was worth keeping, and if so, how to handle any issues.

    • It just stemmed from a minor fight, I called her out on constantly threatening to break up or leave, and I said she shouldn't do that anymore. She made her choice so I respected it.

    • You should have still tried to figure out why she was making those threats. Then if it the relationship doesn't seem worth salvaging let her go.

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