How much physical affection to show when you first start dating?

I just started going out with a girl. Today will actually only be our second date. We hugged at the end of the first date but that was the only physical contact.

I'm really interested in this girl and want an actual relationship so I don't want to come off as creepy if I do too much but I also don't want to not do anything and make her think I'm not interested.

I was planning on greeting her with a hug today and then just seeing how things go and trying to react appropriately.

What is the normal time to start doing things like holding hands or kissing though? Or does it completely depend on the girl? She's Catholic and fairly religious I don't know how much of a difference that makes.

The last girl I was going out with got upset with me because I hadn't kissed her yet after 5 dates and ended up bresking things off because we had "very different comfort levels when it came to affection". I hadn't kissed her because I didn't really know what I thought of her yet. I was almost relieved when she broke things off.

This new girl I really really like though. And after the last girl stopped seeing me for not being affectionate enough I don't want to mess things up with the new girl by not being affectionate. I also don't want to scare her or look creepy. Any advice? Thanks


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  • There are no set rules for such situations. Having said that, it makes sense to wait at least a couple of dates to proceed with physical gestures. Start with holding her hands. If she is alarmed even at that, simply talk to her about what you think. That should set her fears at rest. It's important, however, that you also are clear about what you want, because it is a two way street. If she doesn't reciprocate, it is better to let go. So, choose wisely and all the best!


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