Is 31 and 18 too much of an age gap?

My male friend (who’s 18) is getting hit on by a 31 year old woman. He’s already falling for her and he doesn’t know what she fucking looks like! (They met online). I have LOTS of doubts about her, and she also thought I was competition and that I liked him (which isn’t true).

I’ve been very skeptical and expressed this suspicion to him, but he keeps defending her. What the fuck.
Updates:
Lol 18 is what I meant I don't know why that emoji appeared there

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The online thing is a concern, the fact that they have never met. He needs to be careful.
    The age thing is ok. I mean at the end of the day we are all just flesh and blood and life is so short that you just need to do what makes you happy in this regard.
    You don't know what is going on in his head. I know it sounds unusual but he may be craving a strong female role model or someone who is a bit of a protector in a sense. Also, the more you question him the more you will push him towards her. If you want to help then just keep an eye on things from a distance and only intervene when something dangerous is happening.

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    • I’ll follow this advice, thanks

Most Helpful Girl

  • He may be your close friend, but there is nothing more that you can do.

    You've already provided your concerns and opinions. All you can do, is be there to support him and be someone he can continue to talk to about this stuff so you can ensure safety. This lady does seem to have concerning behavior if she is acting like a jealous teen... BUT all you can do is ask him to be safe and make sure he knows all the safety numbers, date rape drugs, etc.

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    • Yes, thank you.

    • I understand those concerns, good luck darlin!

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What Girls & Guys Said

917
  • Maybe if they knew each other in person, but I'd still be doubtful of that.

    I fell for someone I met online. I was 16, he was 29. He ended up being married and didn't tell me until 2 months later.

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    • This happened to him before but with a 35 year old woman except she wasn’t married. But she did use the “depression” trick to make him stay. He ended up more hurt than ever of course because she treated him like shit too

    • I'd be concerned. It happened to me and I learned my lesson. people make mistakes though, we are only human

  • The age difference isn't a concern, but that they haven't met and he is obsessing about her is a concern.

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  • Age gaps are irrelevant as long as both know what they are doing but girls mature faster than boys.. usually... so either he is being set up for a scam or she just likes young guys... id b worried that he's falling for her without seeing her or even talking on fone. She cud be a scammer

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  • He doesn't know what he is doing. He just wants to bang some chick.

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    • No, he’s just dumb sometimes smh

  • When i was 22 i dated a 38 yr old. Probably one of my worse relationships ever. As she was only using me to mentally stay young. It also didn't help that her oldest kid was 17 at the time

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  • Yeah... in ten or twenty years, not really, but 18 is either A. In high school or B. Fresh out of high school.
    A 31 year old woman, knowing he just turned legal, and thinking a girl your age (im assuming you’re the same age) is “competition”? That’s just... morally disgusting on so many levels. 18 is still a child practically, 31 is well into life and pursuing a teenager is repulsive. If other friends know about her, I suggest hosting an intervention of sorts, where you all explain how you see it. Hope this helped.

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  • Aside from the online part, women are at sexual peak at 30, men 19. Since I was 17, everywhere I've ever worked there's been a woman age 30-33 flirting with me

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  • There's no hard and fast rule that a big age gap is bad, but it's definitely worth being suspicious of *why* there's a gap.

    Maybe she's shy, didn't date in high school, and her emotional/relationship maturity is just in a place where an 18-yr-old is genuinely the right match. That's no more or less healthy than if she were actually 18 herself -- odds are it won't last, but the experience won't really hurt either of them.

    But maybe she's just looking for someone she can hold power and authority over, a trophy boy-toy. And the fact that she hasn't even sent a photo is a really big extra warning sign, here. It sounds like she's testing how far she can string him along. Getting jealous against you also sounds like a control tactic. I don't like the sound of it.

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  • Yes it would be for me but everyone is different.
    Some people are okay with it

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  • The older she is the more she'll be able to manipulate him, you and him need to see what she looks like

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  • I bet she's not a 31 year old woman

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    • Oh god 😂 you’re scaring me now

  • Sounds like it's a guy. Or some deranged woman

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    • They call. But the thing is I’m suspicious because it seems that she’s trapping him into something. She seems like a brainwasher

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    • Yeah probably

    • Or maybe just a creepy old bitch I don't know.

  • Yes it would be for me but everyone is different.
    Some people are okay with it

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  • Yes it is.. Shouldn't be more than a half of decade!

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  • I wouldn't mind that age gap, for any casual stuff. But I am not sure for the serious stuff

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    • He’s legit falling for her.. hard

    • Ya, that could go bad. I don't know. She might just be only up for casuals

  • its none of ur business

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    • It is, he’s my close friend and I’m tired of seeing him be miserable from heartbreaks

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    • loving an older girl is not a matter of life and death.

    • If the kids never met her and she’s giving off red lights like a broken traffic signal I say she’s got a to interfere

  • OMG YES STOP

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  • That's really a huge age gap.. Isn't worthy...

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  • Yes it is

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  • I think so.

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  • It is.

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  • Love struck.

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    • his hormones are going crazy and logic is lost on him

  • Young dumb and full of cum

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  • For now that's a huge age gap. But I don't know we'd have to know more about the relationship.

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  • Bruuuuuuuuh. You are not this mans girlfriend, you are his child predator victim.

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  • sound sketchy... don't try and break them up or anything because that may back fire and he could push you away for "not understanding" but make sure your friend doesn't do anything stupid and keep a close eye! you're right to feel a little suspicious but then again everything could work out so have your friends best interest in mind but also try and keep an open mind.

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    • I know right? Thanks.

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