Am I a booty call? How do I demand more?

I’ve seen this guy only twice in the past month. The first time I came over after 10, because his cousin took him out to dinner that night, and we basically watched Netflix then had sex and fell asleep. In the morning he said he had to go to a friend’s place but he also said “I don’t want to go”. The second time, I came over around 9 and we did a puzzle (I had previously asked that we not just watch Netflix and suggested the puzzle) and eventually I was the one that said we could give up on the puzzle and then we watched Netflix and had sex and again I stayed the night. This time in the morning we had sex again and then I stayed with him for a few more hours. But he just told me to watch what I wanted on Netflix while he watched some YouTube videos on his phone. There wasn’t much talking during these few hours but then why not kick me out?

When he texted to hang out the second time I mentioned that it felt like a booty call and he just seemed confused. So am I a booty call? What can I say to him to bring up my frustrations without sounding like “that desperate girl”?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could use some tough love here. You sound a little bit like that desperate girl, given that it is painfully obvious you're a booty call, and totally at his mercy (which is your own doing) for any sort of commitment.

    If you want to have more than half watched Netflix episodes and instant gratification sex, I have a few heartfelt suggestions regarding partners, sex, relationships, etc.

    The biggest one is that you define aspects of a guys character and personality that you *have* to have, create your own set of standards that you won't budge on.

    When you meet a cute guy that seems to fit, go on dates with him, be observant and enjoy yourself, but don't get hot and heavy, don't move fast. The more time you have to feel him out and learn, the more you will know what you can and can't expect or demand out of them, as a relationship develops.

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    • By the time you have been on several dates over a couple of months, you've seen his place, kissed and cuddled some, you've grown close enough to know more about him, and if you've stuck around that long, he shows some promise.

      If you're observant enough, chances are good you've seen a lot about him, and know what you're getting into when you decide to have sex and become much more intimate, trusting, and personal.

      If you slow your roll like that, you're on much better footing when it comes to navigating the terms you interact with someone on.

      You decide when you want to sleep with them, they're figuring out the same, and you can sense what they want the more time and attention you take to do so.

    • Thank you for taking the time to say this. You’re 100% right and I’m not gonna accept his bullshit any more.

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What Girls & Guys Said

04
  • Just bring them up. There is nothing wrong with sounding desperate. I don't know where girls get that idea from. Everyone has needs. And if your not getting what you want then there's no reason why you can't say that if you don't get what you need out of a relationship then you'll look elsewhere. If you can't communicate yourfeelings then no relationship you get into will be any good.

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  • Just ask him if your just a friends with benefits or if he wants more? depends how you feel about him as well.

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    • When we first started talking I asked if he was just looking for a friends with benefits type thing and he said he wasn’t. Should I just believe he was telling the truth then?

    • Well if you talked about it and he said no, maybe he wants more.
      But I don't know him so you never know, just be cautious and see where it leads?

  • Bootycall

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  • Take your time to think things out

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