Okay, so I'm an Indian girl and I've been dating an African-American guy for a couple of months and it's starting to get really serious. However, I've been dating behind my parents back because I know that they will most likely never accept him because of his race (they're very strict, traditional, and protective) and want me to focus on school. I don't know what to do. Should I tell my parents about him and let them kill the both of us? What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First, remember that as truly as you may beieve it, this guy may not always be your man, but they will ALWAYS be your parents. This in mind, it is both wise and good to respect them and honor them as such. Similarly, if you have intention to marry this man, it would be unfair to hide him from your parents, but be sure that, when you decide the time is right, that you are prepared to defend him, and your love, in a way that remains mindful of your parents. If they reject him, then the decision becomes a question of how confident you are in marrying this man.

    • That's true, but I'm scared that they won't let us continue to see each other over trivial, small things. Like find excuses just so I can stop talking to him. I don't know if he wants to marry me but it seems like it based off of how's he been treating me.

    • Then maybe that's where you should start. Before trying to work out how to tell your parents, it would be beneficial to first determine if he is someone worth possibly upsetting your parents over. And don't feel like this has to happen right away. Take your time, because I can tell you want to do this right :)

    • Thank you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • If you're 18 or over it's your life, you don't answer to them

    • Age doesn't matter to them, I am over 18 though.

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    • I mean a part of me still respects my parents wishes. I just can't move out without their support you know?

    • You're an adult. You own your life.

  • So it's just a couple of months. It's so sooner.
    And perhaps you gotta wait at least for 1 year n see what really happens in your relationship.

    • But do you think that'll be kind of bad telling my parents "I've been sneaking out to see him for a year, and we're getting serious now"?

    • Yar u should wait more for Ur relationship as it all feels great to be in one but with time it takes some changes. U have to at least be sure or every kind of situation with him, and his reactions to everything.
      Also u should test him in different situations that how does he behave n all.
      To be honest it's really sooner to take a big decision now.

    • Parents are a constant people who will stay with u forever n don't hurt them for someone whom u just met a couple of months ago or u felt it a couple of months ago.

  • Don't tell them now. Wait it out.

    • That's true, thank you.

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