How do I effectively communicated on dating sites and actual dates?

Ok so here's the deal. I have aspergers syndrom. And I struggle heavily with socialization. I am trying to meet new women for both friends and possible girlfriends. I'm on match. com, tinder, okcupid etc. That first message I try to send I always end up spending more time on than I should. And I end up most times just saying something along the lines of "hey, how're you?" Which we all know does not work. There's an endless sea of guys messaging these women. You are gonna get lost in that sea if your message doesn't stand out. I try to think of something to say about their profile but I can't seem to form the correct question/statement without it sounding not at all how people in the real world actually talk. Plus I usually have nothing in common with any of these girls because with aspergers syndrome people tend to be really into one hobby or interest and it's tunnel vision. They don't do much else. For me I am a gamer and am into computers. Which that hobby is dominated mostly by the male gender. I also watch certain tv shows but what I am getting at is my topics I could use are really limited. And if I am lucky enough to get a date agaiin my mind hits a blank wall and am forced to make small talk. What should I do about this exactly? All I want is just what anyone else wants. Dating on the spectrum is really hard.


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  • Where I live (Germany) there are a significant number of female gamers. I would focus on meeting women with similar interests (from what I hear female Aspies prefer other Aspies rather than neurotypicals).


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