Relationship & drug use advice?

So i need opinions, maybe some answers?
I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months now, but I’ve known him for a long time (small town). I never had heard anything about him being into drugs... when we first got together he told me he’s always wanted to experiment with a few different drugs. I was like, okay? That should be fine, like shrooms, acid and stuff like that, and only in moderation. So now we’re very much so in love. However, 2 months ago he got into coke, he was doing a lot, and told me he felt addicted. I told him if he does it again I’m leaving him. So a few weeks went by, he hadn’t done it and he hated the side effects that came with it. He hated how badly he had hurt me and our relationship. Fast forward to about a week ago; my boyfriend was leaving for work and I asked him “are you doing any drugs?” He said no.
I was in his room alone later that day and was trying to find my necklace. I ended up coming across a few items that indicated he had coke. I knew it couldn’t be from last time because (out of anger and hurt) I threw everything away. So I texted him and told him to be honest, he said he had done it once again. Now I really do love this guy, and I see us doing great things in life together. However, now he’s broken my trust, hurt our relationship, lied, taken money from our shared funds, and jeopardized our relationship. We’ve talked about this a lot. He says sorry, but I tell him that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I told him how I feel, how I should be leaving and how I don’t deserve this. He agrees, but we both want to stay together and make it work. I’ve decided to give him another chance. He promises it won’t happen again, and says he loves me. I told him “if you love me you wouldn’t betray me like this” he says he wasn’t thinking when he did it, he was just stoked on the idea of getting high.

So help me out, give me some advice, and don’t be rude about it. Thank you
(Also no I’m not 17, the app glitches when i was creating it)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend is a recovering addict. He overdosed on heroin ( was probably laced with fentanyl) in October. It took 3 doses of narcan to revive him. He has been on a program since. We also live in a small town so didn't take long for everyone to find out. I knew he did drugs recreationally when we got together but not this. Its a terrible road to travel with someone. A lot of resentment, hurt and fear of whats next. The choice to stay is hard, he may continue, he might stop, its up to you what you can deal with. And its up to him to stop, you cannot convince him, he needs to convince himself.

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    • Thank you. I know I can’t convince him.. but I can’t help to think like “if he really loves me he’ll do what’s right, and stop”

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    • Do you regret staying with you s/o?

    • Sometimes, my life would be easier, I would have more money, more friends and less worries. But, I love him so much still, even after the shit he has put me through. I dont think i could ever leave him like this anyways.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Drug addicts.. .. nm can be done... when ur into it u can't get out... i am kinda addicted to few... stuff like coke and crap I just use it once in a blue moon so its really hard to resist but I somehow manage by being more social

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    • But if you really love your significant other and they tell you they’re going to leave you if you keep doing it.. then what would you do?

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    • I don’t think my boyfriend is actually addicted, I think he’s really just being dumb. I told him that. Like he’s done it less than 10 times

    • He is addicted... Shouldn't be with drug addicts they make ur life miserable

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What Girls & Guys Said

12
  • No trust no relationship as someone who has a lot of experience with that substance once you do it I will always be the girl in the other room so to speak u may never by it again and not even think about or want it but if offered one chance are far too high that the person will indulge. I grew up with an addict for a father who died of an overdose who was on and off for years at a time a user/addict will only get and STAY clean if they truly want to be

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  • he is a druug addict leave him

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    • He’s done coke less than 10 times, with that said I don’t think he’s an addict I think he’s just being dumb

    • he still feels addicted right? leave him

  • If you dont like it. Leave it.

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    • But I like everything else about him?

    • Then put up with it. And get your Own bank account. Drugs take over a person. and they have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired to quit. YOU will NOT get him to quit. Good luck

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