Agree or disagree - don’t get into the dating scene if you’re not over your ex? And WHY?

Agree or disagree - don’t get into the dating scene if you’re not over your ex? And WHY?
  • Agree (why)
    Vote A
  • Disagree (why)
    Vote B
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1419

Most Helpful Guy

  • A couple of variables here.

    If you're not over your ex, and looking for a rebound/fwb situation, as long as you are honest about it up front, it's far more healthy than trying to wait for your ex to come around or reminiscing on it.

    If you're not over your ex and looking for a relationship, do not date. You will jump in with someone expecting them to fill a role of your ex. Way to confusing and unfair to the man. I can say this from experience. If a relationship is important, wait to date.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I voted agree but If you're up front constantly that you're not over your ex and just want so spend time with someone else for now then thats fine. You're being truthful. He's/ she's aware.
    It's wrong if you're in the dating scene and not telling people. Thats how you hurt other people. No one deserves that. It's very heartless.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1318
  • Agreed. You're not ready to date.

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  • If you haven't gotten over your ex, then there are emotions driving your decisions, that cloud your judgment more than usual, when it comes to relationships. You need good judgment to make good decisions about who to get into a relationship with, and what the relationship will be like.

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  • I agree because ur simply not over ur ex yet... Meaning there still are feelings of love and attraction and that on it's own might cause tension in ur new relationship might even terminate it... All in all it's hurtful to the new boyfriend who will probably feel at war with ur ex

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  • The little things that you do for each other isn't the same anymore. Is like all the sudden you are a grown up person and love is no longer the reason why you are with someone else in life. Although true love is still around but is too rare without anything attached to another person.

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  • Agree. Because you’ll be comparing your new lover with your old one the whole time. That’s not fair to you or the new one person.

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  • Done it several times with the person I love most kept gettting back with her and because of the in between encounters it's made it impossible for us to get past the bad and enjoy what could have been... So make sure your ready to move on your self first

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  • It depends on what you mean by "not over your ex." It also depends on what you mean by "dating." Depending on the breakup, you may need to be alone, or you may need to start swimming before the tidal wave pulls you down under.

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  • Agree. It's not productive for you and it's not fair on the people you date.

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  • If you are still not over your ex, don't use others as your rebounds hoping you will let go of your past or that every other person would fill empty place in your heart. And you shouldn't use other people's emotions towards you, against them.

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  • Agree because you need time to move on. Plus it hurts when you're with someone but you have feelings for someone else.

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  • I agree, because it could be a rebound relationship, and there could be a lot of comparisons with the ex. It's good to spend time on your own

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  • Agree. If you still love your ex you're just using your current partner to get over the break up, and that's just not right. He/she deserves better.

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  • Agree. Because it's a total waste of people's time.

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  • I agree, I feel you should let yourself calm down and get over the person before trying to build a relationship with another.

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  • You will end up bringing that to a new relationships which can fuck it up where there where no other problwms

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  • If you're not over your ex as soon as you break up then you need to work on that. Or maybe I'm just a cold bastard hehe..

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  • Disagree. Meeting someone else to distract you from memories is the best way TO get over an ex.

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  • Agreed because you will dump your old baggage on your new interest

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  • I agree, as your jusy going to be using the girl/guy and stringing them along

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  • I voted agree but it's tricky. Yes, be responsible and don't knowingly use someone, but if you have the best of intentions, just want to make yourself and someone else happy, why not. That being said, it really sucks when you like how things are going with person two and you find yourself realizing that you wish it was with person one. That's happened to me and I've been on both ends of it. When it happened to me and I wasn't over her, I felt terrible but luckily things hadn't gotten too serious. When she wasn't over him, it was a punch, more to my pride than anything, but I tried my best to help her out and see what I could do to be a descent human being and we're still friends (they however are not)

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  • I agree because the likely hood of you just treating the next person like a rebound is very high

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  • I think. Dont date just eat pizza and play video games. Maybe buy a sex robot

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  • Agree, because they will be thinking and focused on them, and not you all of the time.

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  • Agree, how can you focus on a new relationship if you can't hey over your old one?

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  • That will cause nothing but problems.

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  • Agree. It won't work.

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  • Agree. Cause you're not emotionally available.

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  • It makes no sence

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  • There's a question about what constitutes "over." There's a period where yes you're too messed up and should probably not date but it works differently for guys and girls.

    The girls period can be near to the entire process of getting over someone it can take from days to months. Afterward they're largely cleansed of the residual feelings.

    For guys this period is only reaching a stable state. Again it could be days to months, but it's *not* the whole process. Guys take *years* to fully discard old feelings (a good hypothesis as to why guys might reflexively not want to get invested or commit quickly -- it's legitimately riskier for them (in many aspects)). Guys don't wait out getting over someone like that because it's impractical, after months they get to a point where they're stable and although remnants of feelings can linger, they become assimilated into the personality.

    There's an expression that says something like "you carry with you a part of everyone you've loved" while I don't normally like to explain things with oversimplified pleasant sounding lines, but here I think it does apply well enough, though I'm saying it applies to men about 10x more -- and I'm not exaggerating about that ratio.

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  • Hurts both you and the other person you are dating

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