The last guy I dated was almost a year ago. On our last night together he sat me down and told me he was getting back together with his ex. Needless to say it was the most embarrassing night of my life.
A few weeks later we talked and he said he would have sex with me but would never be in a relationship with me, but he also wasn't with his ex. He also wouldn't tell me why he wouldn't date me or what about me turned him off.
I thought I was confident person who had all this good stuff going for her and didn't give af about what anyone said... but my self esteem was shitty. I haven't dated since.
It's so hard to talk to guys. The few times I tried I just cut them off because I couldn't believe why they would want me other than sex. Sometimes, before I had the chance to cut someone off, they would bring up something sexual, or they would invite me to their home without even offering to go out on a date, and I would freak out. Not on them, but to myself, wondering what vibe I'm giving off,, why can't I attract someone who wants to get to know me.
I can't get his words out of my head. He was just like all the guys who I strictly avoided because I knew they were only interested sexually. He told me he liked me and wanted to build to a relationship and then that shit happened.
I really want to start dating again but I can't be used like that again. I shut down the first time and I don't know how well I'm going to be able to handle it emotionally if someone did that to me again. I never understood how people are okay with hurting others and I don't try to understand because it's just wrong.
I hate being young. I hate how dating works. I hate myself for letting someone fuck me over and not being smart enough to see it before then. I'm wondering what my negative qualities are so I can fix them and not have anyone ever do or say that to me again but he wouldn't tell me and I'm making shit up. I don't know what to do.
Most Helpful Guy
Everyone is different. Things that he found unattractive about you, someone else could find extremely attractive. So I wouldn't worry so much about your "negative qualities." It sounds like he was a boy, anyway, not so much a man. Men take other people's feelings into consideration, and try not to cause them emotional harm, which is clearly not what he did for you. Only you can really say how ready you are to date. The thing is, a lot of people in this world suck. They're self-centered, egotistical and greedy. But there are some people out there who genuinely care. It is true: you just need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. You should remind yourself of why you are one of the people trying to make this world suck a little less, and let that be what powers your confidence. Why do you make people's lives better? How do you make others happy? That's what really matters in life.