Guys, Boyfriend is mad that I'm getting cold feet about moving in with him?

My boyfriend has been trying to persuade me to move in with him for months now and I was always a bit reluctant because I know a lot of couples who ruined their relationships by moving too quickly. Plus I've always been a cautious person and really like to think things through before committing to a decision. I finally agreed to move in with him because we spend several days at a time at each other's houses and don't have issues, but I'm starting to get cold feet the closer we get to the move in date. I brought it up to him the other day (that I'm second guessing my decision) and he was straight up offended and didn't even wanna talk to me. He was like "You already agreed to move in and now you're getting cold feet. Do you really doubt our relationship that much?" It has nothing to do with how I feel about him but more like I need my space to think things through. I keep texting him because I know I hurt him but he's absolutely not responding (which is so unlike him). Normally he texts me first thing in the morning and wishes me a great day or writes a sweet message of some sort. I'm really getting worried that I upset him & he won't forgive me. Why did he take it so personally? I didn't know he'd react so strongly to my needing more time. It's frustrating because I only moved in once before with my ex boyfriend and that went badly so I just don't want to make the same mistake. Guys, please help?


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What Guys Said 3

  • If he can't handle patience, moving in won't work out for you both. He should also realise what 'risk' you're taking on a premise (that being that you won't split up). You have things to think about, such as, what you will do if you split up. It's a bigger step to move in with someone than to move in somewhere on your own, and he needs to understand that.

    • I never told him "no" but I am asking for more time like you said. Patience isn't his strong suit lol but he's like "Why is it so hard for you to make a decision?" He doesn't understand that I really enjoy my alone time and he always has people over and wants a big crowd. Living with him probably wouldn't be much different. I just hope he comes around so we can actually talk about it in depth...

    • Aye, that's just it. I'm sure he'll come around.

  • If this is how he is going to act now. I would be worried how he would act later.

    If your worried about personal space why not set aside time for just you or an area or room that is just your stuff.

    • I think he's just frustrated that I'm being so difficult but I don't mean to be. I just really need time to think about it and decide if it's the right thing for me right now. Eventually I do wanna move in with him but I just think the timing is a little off. Another reason I'm reluctant is because the apartment he currently lives in is very small and I know there would be no chance for me to have a place to myself. He has no problem spending 24/7 with me and doesn't get tired of it but I usually need some time to unwind for 3 hours by myself for a 2-3 hours. He assumes that means I don't enjoy his company but I'm like that with my own brothers & sisters. it's nothing personal whatsoever but he's mad at me now :(

    • I had a similar problem when my wife and I moved in together. Not as much the cold feet bit the needing time alone. if he will talk about it.. You need to discuss that. Trust me it can get

  • Go with your gut take your time. Of course boyfriend wants you with him. But he needs to not act childish.


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