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Guys, I am scared to be intimate with a guy because of my body. Any advice?

I have had a lot of bad experiences with guys. Such as bullying, ignoring and nasty looks and comments on my body.

Over the years I’ve had a lot of downs but almost always managed to get up. I can easily talk to guys now, but if I get to feel something now, I think I should just retreat.

Five years ago I lost 25 kg and I didn’t get a nice firm body to look at or touch. My result is fade but very real stretch marks almost everywhere. On my knees, my thighs, stomache, back of the arms and maybe worst of all, my breasts. They look awful and I have a bit of excess skin from my poor skin quality which is not flattering at all. I am also 182 cm tall which usually is not a good thing.

I lost my virginity very late, but was close before. This guy I had seen on and off for 6 months, he just said he couldn’t do it when I took off my clothes and soon left my apartment. Needless to say I felt extremely repulsive. Then when I actually lost my virginity I could not take off my bra, I just laid there all paralyzed and scared. Of course we didn’t meet up again afterwards either. I understand why they would not be attracted to me so I don’t blame them. Now I just worry if I could ever attract any guy that has my interest too. I want to take part in a healthy sex life and I want to be beautiful for the guy I am with. It just seems impossible. If I have to feel more safe I would need more time to do so, and who would work hard for 5 bucks when they could work less for a 100?

I’m chatting with this guy I met at New Years last year and we made out a bit. He has implied that we should meet up twice, but I don’t dare to anymore. I feel like I am lying to him and scared that my only effect will be to repulse him.

I have a lot of other qualities and I am confident in them but they don’t seem to weigh up. My body is one thing I now feel I am not allowed to be confident in because it looks the way it does. Is there anything I can do to compromise for my lack of physical attractiveness?
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Thank you for your reply Logorithm. Do you have any example of how I could bring up this topic the best possible way?
Guys, I am scared to be intimate with a guy because of my body. Any advice?
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