"Why We Pick Difficult Partners" - What are your thoughts on this video?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason why we make those choices in partners are right but what they suggest we do about it is wrong. A wholesome man should seek a wholesome woman. If you seek a difficult partner because its a familiar experience from ur early years of development, u are definitely gonna be unhappy whether u react to it as an adult. Saying it's his problem when he/she constantly disrespect you doesn't make u feel less disrespected. If u are proned to choosing the wrong men/women u will need to get used to getting treated right. Anything can become familiar once it's done again and again with appreciation of the experience. Making a step like this is a step to loving urself

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree and disagree is many ways. Sure, it's not baffling that those with troubled childhoods often end up with troubled relationships. But a lot of the time, even though a troubled person might feel familiar to them, some of those with troubled childhoods use their childhood relationships as a guide for what NOT to do. So many of them can and do find healthy relationships because they know what a relationship shouldn't be like.
    The advice at 2:20 is also quite problematic, if we're talking about people who are behaving in abusive or hurtful ways. As a victim of abuse, the worst thing you can do is normalize it and try to adjust your own life based on what your partner thinks is "right" (as seen by her putting on a glove to not be pricked or hurt by his thorns).
    I do agree with trying to see your own pattern of childish behavior and to treat your partner with the respect a proper adult is capable of giving. And although I do think that working on your relationship is better than ending it at the first bump in the road, I do believe some of the issues mentioned in the video (such as being patronising, yelling, and being overbearing) shouldn't be taken so lightly, especially if they happen frequently. Not everything can just be solved with a cup of tea and a discussion.

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What Guys Said 22

  • Interesting goofed. It sounds plausible. My knowledge of psychology is relatively limited.

    I thinking what this video is trying to say that your upbringing leads you to seek familiarity, but doesn't explain why. I think it's all about adaptability and avoidance of uncharted territory.

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  • l know that you are a real nice girl but its that tinder thing or did l mean tender and loving l know that is what you desire just like me as l have said before l would never degrade my self by using tinder l would rather do with out sex than use that germ site called tinder as there is no tender loving guys or girls on that site please read into what l am saying as l do know that you do understand all that l am saying take care x

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  • SOME LADIES LIKE BAD BOYS AND SOME GUYS JUST DONT CARE IF THE LADY PRETTY THEYLL RISK HEART BREAK CUS I GUESS THEY SEE THE REWARD IS GREATER THAN THE RISK IF IT PANS POSSIBLY WOMEN LIKE TO BE SAFE AND PROTECTED SO I THINK THATS ONE OF THE REASONS THERE THEY FALL FOR BAD BOYS JUST MY OPINION BASED ON WHAT I've SEEN OUTHERE N MAYBE IT doesn't FIT YOUR SITUATION TOTALLY..

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  • Didn't watch the video but I'm just gonna assume it was made by a girl. Because the answer is no, we do not pick difficult partners. Maybe girls with daddy issues but guys sure don't, we like as little drama as possible,

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    • I don't know if it was made by a woman but it was narrated by a guy. I'm not familiar with the channel so I don't know who creates their content.

  • Makes sense.. human psychology and our personalities are very heavily tied to our early experiences and how we grow up.

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  • so according to this video, we pick difficult parnters, because of the type of love we didn't get in our childhood, so we try to get that from our partner?

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  • I used to do that. But these days I pick simple instead of hard. Simple is good. Simple makes me happy and doesn’t take that much energy.

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  • Maybe because we love challenge. Like cats they keep chasing balls and once the ball is in there league they leave it. It just become boring.

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  • I disagree with this. My parents have made themselves blue prints for everything NOT to do.

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  • The School of Life is one of my favorite channels but some videos don't come down to reality.

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  • I didn't find anything about that video useful or applicable to my experience.

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  • Coz whatever comes easy doesn't last. So, we need a bit of a challenge, I guess.

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  • All human being put out a frequency that push and pull other beings even animals, what u put out there in the universe is what u get this natural law of attractions are only one of the many natural laws that can explain way people do what they do.

    With the media controlling and poisoning people's perseptions it's hard sometimes.

    You are in control of you reality, the u in universe are there for a reason and the u are are on this earth to learn lessons and feel as much as possible

    Deep love, deep connection, stay healthy

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  • For women its because of Hypergamy. For men they delusional

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  • We think we can change them

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  • Why people take drugs?

    It's the same sheet.

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  • Because we are difficult and need a mirror.

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  • Makes sense.

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  • We want what we can't have?

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  • This was a great video

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  • Available ones are boring. No challenge there

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  • I don't..

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What Girls Said 10

  • That was such a cute video with all the little doodles🙂 It’s interesting, I never thought that my childhood relationships could help determine my adult ones, but it does make sense because of the familiarity.

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  • Great video. I'm sure its spot on. My ex husband was exactly like my father, which for a time was what i wanted. Then i didn't want someone to control my life. But i see how i played a part in everything from partner selection to redefining terms of the relationship, which led to its end.

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  • Our childhood determines who we end up with... Well yep I'm fucked. That explains everything. I'll put in my resignation now, pick up my stuff, and show myself out.

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  • This is surprisingly interesting, and I think does hold a little truth to it, tho whether it's the whole truth I don't think so

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  • I'll watch the video later. I always choose difficult partners and I know the reason, because I can be emotionally unavailable and scared of relationships.

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  • People who pick difficult SOs are masochists. To each, her own.

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  • I love their videos.

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  • We don’t know it until you really get to know them

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  • Opposites attract.

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  • Nah, i just love the chase

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