Most Helpful Guy
The reason why we make those choices in partners are right but what they suggest we do about it is wrong. A wholesome man should seek a wholesome woman. If you seek a difficult partner because its a familiar experience from ur early years of development, u are definitely gonna be unhappy whether u react to it as an adult. Saying it's his problem when he/she constantly disrespect you doesn't make u feel less disrespected. If u are proned to choosing the wrong men/women u will need to get used to getting treated right. Anything can become familiar once it's done again and again with appreciation of the experience. Making a step like this is a step to loving urself1
Most Helpful Girl
I agree and disagree is many ways. Sure, it's not baffling that those with troubled childhoods often end up with troubled relationships. But a lot of the time, even though a troubled person might feel familiar to them, some of those with troubled childhoods use their childhood relationships as a guide for what NOT to do. So many of them can and do find healthy relationships because they know what a relationship shouldn't be like.
The advice at 2:20 is also quite problematic, if we're talking about people who are behaving in abusive or hurtful ways. As a victim of abuse, the worst thing you can do is normalize it and try to adjust your own life based on what your partner thinks is "right" (as seen by her putting on a glove to not be pricked or hurt by his thorns).
I do agree with trying to see your own pattern of childish behavior and to treat your partner with the respect a proper adult is capable of giving. And although I do think that working on your relationship is better than ending it at the first bump in the road, I do believe some of the issues mentioned in the video (such as being patronising, yelling, and being overbearing) shouldn't be taken so lightly, especially if they happen frequently. Not everything can just be solved with a cup of tea and a discussion.0