Do shy guys appreciate girls making the first move?

I like a guy at work and it's been hard to talk to him because of the usual reasons. He seems to like me too and has been receptive.

However we both seem to stay one step away and not really go past "oh yeah these printers" "hi how are you?"

I'm trying to work on being more assertive. I rehearse asking his help on a project or something random but I chicken out and I haven't been like this in a while. The only guys I asked out were via text and email.

Would he appreciate me being more assertive with trying to develop friendship or even asking him out? Help!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even non-shy guys appreciate a gal who makes the first move. Secret to guys - they love to be wanted. No surprise there.

    That said, true story. I met my girlfriend at a reception her organization held for my boss. I had been through a very bad relationship but the instant she walked through the door I was saying, "WOW!!! I have got to meet this girl!!" So I introduced myself.

    Then I sank back into my funk. I was still hurting way too much and I just could not face it if she didn't care for me. Then she started calling me for meetings, business lunches, business dinners. It slowly but surely became apparent to me that she liked me - and so I asked.

    Her reply, "I'd love to. I was wondering if you were ever going to take the hint." We have now been together 12 years, living together for ten and we have three great kids together and they lived happily ever after."

    Now, obviously your situation is somewhat different. He is shy and you are too, Still, don't let an opportunity slip by. It may never come again. I cannot imagine my life now if I had ignored my girlfriend.

    So, go for it. If you get turned down - and it does not sound like you will - you'll get over it. Just remember, "Of all the saddest words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.'

    Don't be wondering what might have been.

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    • Wow I think you just pumped me up to talk to crush. Not 100% sure he likes me though

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    • I like that, thanks for sharing. Very touching.

    • And I've thought about asking his help on projects and talking on email, etc I thought that could help us build a rappport. But I've been second guessing myself. I'm trying.

Most Helpful Girl

  • They do.
    Any guy would.

    Fyi, should a relationship come of it, don't be surprised if you have to be the one to initiate a lot of things. Personally, I guess I like more aggressive men. Just not overly aggressive. And that's very hard to receive from a guy like that. They're extremely cautious and analytical of the moves they make, especially with women.

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    • Very true. I just dodged one of those. He wasn't assertive but when I asked him out he got angry cause I couldn't make a date he suggested. This guy seems sweet and a complete opposite.

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What Guys Said 31

  • That tends to go to the guy's head and then they proceed to put there foot in there mouth. You start to back off and both of you are wondering what happen. Just go for friend's till he acts normal and step closer after that.

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  • He would really appreciate you if he is into you. Generally guys who are shy will hesitate a lot to take first move as they feel like they may spoil the relationship if they do something wrong. So just make him feel comfortable and start conversation over a chat, that will give you fair results as they will be very expressive on text messages when compared to face to face conversation. You can get to know about his likes and dislikes and soon you will see the change particularly in you.

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  • Any guy does!

    Don't rehearse what you're going to say, of course you'll be nervous then cause you'll want to say it perfectly and it won't come out that way. And you'll struggle to go up to him cause you're stuck in your mind about how it should go.

    Be instantaneous in approaching and you won't be so nervous as your mind won't have time to think about how you can screw it up.

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  • Hell Yes! Gotta be careful tho. I made the mistake of a girl asking me on a date and froze. I cuss myself out everyday for not saying yes... i cri evrytiem

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    • I'm sorry. I don't think he'll freeze I just want us to get pass this awkward shy phase with one another.

    • Yea im just saying some guys are not used of girls making the first move. And when a women has the courage to do that men we almost have to rethink life. It doesn't happen all that often.

    • Lol rethink life. I love it.

  • If you want to ask a shy guy out litterally do this.

    On a sheet of paper write "I like you, please ask me out." Then as you talk to him tape the paper to your forehead. Yes he needs a litteral sign.

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  • It would mean the world to me if a girl I knew admitted her feelings to me. I'm sure he feels the exact same way.

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  • He would really appreciate that... Don't became crazy finding excuses or whatever, go straight to the point and kiss him

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  • Yeah I like the fact that she has more testosterone than me lmao. Sure it is nice.

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  • Yes, Yes, Yes! You have no idea how much fear and pressure shy guys feel when it comes to asking a girl out or anything that can make us closer to her. If a girl makes the first move, our confidence jumps significantly which makes us relax and open to her. And if she continues to show interest, we will eventually be able to take the next step ourselves.
    So please do it. It will benefit you because this will potentially lead to the relationship you are searching for, and it will relieve a lot of pressure from him and make it easier for you to get along together.
    Do it.

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  • Life is to short to worry about the if and whats just go for it and ask him out. I know i would appreciate it.

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  • Not to be nihilistic, but we're all going to be ashes one day.

    Just ask the guy out.

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  • Of course! That makes everything easier. Never assume signs or hints are going to work, at least not better than being straightforward.

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  • I would, just slowly ramp it up, don't come on too strong to fast

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  • Yes they do like, but they might get nervous so don't freak out.

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  • Hell yes. It lifts a lot of weight off our shoulders.

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  • All guys like this, but shy guys would appreciate it more than nonshy guys

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  • Yes be assertive5

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  • Yes of course!

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  • We love it more than having sex.

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  • Yes they do.

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  • Yes.

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  • Yes it would be great

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  • Very much.

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  • noooo

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  • Yes I'm kinda shy i no he would appreciate it

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  • Yes.

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  • Thats like asking if the sun will set

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  • A lot hahahahah

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  • Yes we do

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  • Yes, Very Much So!!!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes. What do you like about him if you've never had a proper conversation though?

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    • His printer talk is off the charts.

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    • LOL... you mentioned having conversations with him, but not going further than "oh yeah these printers"... so it left me wondering...

    • @HotDogg yeah I guess it was vague. Printers, job events, vacation. Etc but not much more about 6 small conversations?

  • he could be gay or a misogynist mgtow. you can try but be prepared to fail and dont be butthurt about it

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