My last serious relationship was 5 years ago. My last partner and I split bc he was violent and abusive to me. We have 2 children together and they see him regular. I have healed and get on ok with my ex considering everything. I’ve learnt to be friendly for the children sake but would never go back with him.
He has been in a relationship pretty much since we split but he does still text me inappropriately sometimes.
I've met a new man and we haven’t yet discussed our ex’s. I want to be totally open with him about my ex but don’t want to put him off.
Some people might think I’m damaged goods.
If you met someone and they told you they had a abusive ex partner would you be put off?
Most Helpful Guy
We all have our own baggage. So in that sense, yes you're "damaged goods" in the sense you've got some baggage there. Even if you're healed you still went through some shit. Staying in a abusive relationship long-term will do that to anyone.
That said I don't know that knowledge would be enough for me to bounce from seeing that girl further. Yes it's off putting. Not having an abusive ex, but knowing you stayed with an ex after he was abusive. Which is where the "damaged" idea comes from. Assuming he hit you once and you left immediately that would be a factor I take into account.
I'd think about did she stay with him after? How long did it go on? Should I be concerned about him, with the way he's still texting her now? Will I have to be concerned with him being abusive to the kids down the road? Am I up for dealing with his baggage as well, because he's going to be a regular part of their life. None of that is fun, but that's where my head would be at if I were considering the situation.1
Most Helpful Girl
I have been in an abusive relationship and my experience is no, it makes no difference to men. I havr only told two but they were good men and it made no difference to them. Of course you have to show you have moved on, love yourself again and not sit and talk about your ex for hours - just like in a “normal” relationship.0