Do you believe that an atheist and a Christian can ever have a lasting relationship?

I've met a couple where the boyfriend is a christian and the girlfriend is an atheist. They have been dating for two years. Do you believe that their relationship will last?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That depends on how indoctrinated the christian is. If he has been brainwashed to believe that it's hell and damnation because he is dating someone outside the church and buys into that, it won't work. If one feels they will "convert" the other - it won't work.

    If they can love each other despite their differences, there just may be a chance.

    Before I post this - I see some very good answers, above and beyond what I can say.

    I hope your friends can read these messages and add them to their own thoughts.

    An aside: my wife and I have slightly different beliefs. I am a "small a" agnostic, in that I don't proclaim that I "know" that the existence of deity is impossible to know. (a "large A" Agnostic) only that I don't know and realize that I don't pretend to know more than anybody else.

    My wife is into some sort of low key new age spirituality which I remain highly skeptical of but I feel that hey, IF it works for her for any reason, all the power to her. Luckily neither of us are held down by dogma. But for us it generally works.


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What Guys Said 7

  • I've said it before, as long as neither of them tries to force their beliefs on the other person and can respect the other persons beliefs, it should be possible.

    It also depends on how "heavy" of a believer he is, if he takes everything said in the bible litterally, goes to church every sunday, prays, believes in gays going to hell and so on. As much as I'd like to say it could work, most likely it won't.

    They will have to compromise on the bigger issues such as marriage and how to raise their kids.

    • Sound like it is impossible... He is a heavy believer.. He takes every word from that bible seriously and he does not want to have kids for that very same reason. This is very depressing, I hope they last.

    • You can hope all you want, chances are more likely they won't stay together :/

  • Yes, I'm more or less athiest and I've dated girls for long'ish periods of time, our religion never came into it (living in northern ireland it's actually amazing since everything is usually about it) even if it did I'd not write off her beliefs because I don't feel the same.

    • Well from my understanding the atheist chick doesn't have a problem with his religion either. It is actually the other way around.. He has a problem with hers and it puts a strain on their relationship. They seem to love each other very much which is what I believe is keeping them together. What I am wondering is will that love be enough?

    • I don't usually have anyone question mine, I'd say love would be enough. I'd not let my own beliefs destroy a relationship with a perfect girl, that would just be foolish and I'd regret that.

    • I can understand that and I appreciate your comments. However, I would like to hear a Christian's point of view. See when they first started he was an atheist as well and then about a year into the relationship was "born again". I have asked him if he would have dated her had he been a christian in the beginning and he said no. So I am curious to see what other Christians have to say on this.

  • I know guys who are atheists who have been married for many years to religious girls, most girls are not logical as it is so it would be pretty hard to find one that doesn't believe in anything, don't know if it will work the other way around tho...

    • Hey her boyfriend is really hard headed. Especially when it comes to his beliefs, sometimes it amazes me that they are still together. I know she wishes that she could just believe in a god but it is really difficult for her to just have blind faith on something that in her eyes has not proven its existence. It would have solved many of their problems if she could.

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    • I think that would make her believe less.. Who wants to believe and worship an asshole god?

    • It's easier than trying to make her believe in a good god that lets cities get wiped out by natural disasters

  • Sure, why not? Their political views have little to nothing to do with their relationship - it's how they deal with it that counts.

    • Actually according to the conversations we have had it seems to be a big issue within their relationship. He doesn't want to have kids with her because her lack of belief will put their souls in danger. Also (Which I can understand this part) he doesn't want her to go to hell. Since he is so very passionate he takes any little thing she does very seriously. They get into many arguments over really stupid things.

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    • I am critical on everything. Also it is more like the best SHE can. They were together for about a year before he decided to go christian on her. They went from compatible to incompatible, she is afraid to express herself around him, and the same problems seem to be recurring. I'm just curious to know whether or not a relationship like this is worth it if you are in constant fear of saying something wrong or being dumped.

    • From the way you explain it I'd guess it'll last until she leaves. To be honest I'd stay out of it, if she asked for my opinion then I'd give it but otherwise it's their business.

  • iit's hard

  • No,

    It will be very dangerous for you to do so.


    If your own full brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife, or you intimate friend, entices you secretly to serve other gods, whom

    you and your fathers have not known, gods of any other nations, near at hand or far away, from one end of the earth to the other: do not yield to

    him or listen to him, nor look with pity upon him, to spare or shield him, but kill him. (Deuteronomy 13:7-12 NAB)

    A priest's daughter who loses her honor by committing fornication and thereby dishonors her father also, shall be burned to death. (Leviticus

    21:9 NAB) ... Read More

    Make ready to slaughter his sons for the guilt of their fathers; Lest they rise and posses the earth, and fill the breadth of the world with

    tyrants. (Isaiah 14:21 NAB)

    Honour killings happen everyday in the states and in Europe its just that they are referred to as domestic violence, even though it was for purely religious purposes

    I don't want to disturb you more with what they do to non-believers

  • If the guy really is passionate about his faith... they will most likely break up. If he is not as serious... Then it probably won't matter.

    • He is very passionate about it but he is also very passionate about her. They confuse me sometimes.

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    • That is very understandable. But while it would be nice for him to decide right away... it would be a shame if he made his decision... and then regretted it further down the line.

    • Who knows? Maybe he will and maybe he won't.

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