Why is it okay for a guy to be the “sideho” yet it’s bad for girls to be one?

For example, when a girl cheats on her boyfriend with another guy, this second guy says “I fucked your girl!” Proudly. But when a guy cheats on his girlfriend with another girl, this second girl gets shat on and disrespected and everyone labels her as “sideho”. And it’s derogative rather than celebratory.

Why the double standard?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cause sexism, no further explanation required

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    • There's no sexism in play, white knight.

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    • Did you just call him a guy? He's a woman.

    • Further proving my point. Nice

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • Interesting double standard indeed. I personally think that any girl or guy for that matter shouldn't be cheating anyway. Very different from consensual 3ways though. At the same time, unless there are official titles and the two in question confirm to each other that they will be mutually exclusive, being a "sideho" shouldn't be gender exclusive.

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  • Basically societal hipocracy. Essentially the same reason why a guy sleeping with a bunch of girls is more acceptable to society. Personally I think anyone who would allow themselves to be the object of cheating is almost as bad as the lowlife who cheats in the first place.

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    • Thank you for being smart and a male at the same time

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    • Typically I consider intelligence to be subject based. Women tend to be more intelligent in certain fields and men in others... Unfortunately, I find linguistics to be lacking in both lately. So I thank you for forming words with all of the vowels intact.

    • You’re welcome lmao 😂🤣

  • well guys to each other don't like it when their gal gets fucked by another guy. its like extremely Territorial. when a gal sleeps around she is at fault so she gets the shit

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    • It’s literally the same thing 😂 girls also don’t like it when their guy gets fucked by another chick. That doesn’t mean we gotta blame the “side chick”. The label itself is derogatory and it’s only applied to females

    • No, Asker, you are incorrect. Cheaters are hated on whether they are a guy or a girl.
      And a person who gets involved with an involved person is hated, whether they are a guy or a girl. There is no double standard, you have no idea what you're talking about.

    • Change ur profile picture and then I’ll try not to laugh at your comments, babe

  • It's not a double standard silly, you're just not paying attention to what actually is going on in this situation.
    --A guy is bragging about seducing a girl who's committed to another guy,
    --a girl who seduced a committed man is being shat on.
    The double standard you're claiming does not exist in the story you told.
    GTFO with your gender politics.

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    • Isn't it like part of what we do. Clowning each other. I fucked your bitch is a hot joke. Some boys will be boys shit always ruining shit for each other.

      Girls ruining girls life is what you girls do. So how can that ever be a light scenario.

      She should be able to brag "Aha I turned your man into a fuckboy" but that's not the ploy.

      All bitches unless you're woman. Its just not a life thing.

      Mess with a mans wife though and party done. Lol.

  • A key which can open every lock is perfect, but a lock which can get opened by every key is useless.

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    • HAHA THIS IS FUNNY (I had to)

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    • On the serious note, women cheat emotionally as well, men treat sex as sport, women put more emotionional importance to sex. Unless they're whores of course.

    • 😂 this is the cringiest “saying” there is... swear to gawd

  • We accept what we do but as a female y'all supposed to be better than that plus ya can get stretched out and pregnant tbh

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    • So guys can behave in abhorrent and dirty ways? But females can’t bc they’re “females”?

      Swear to god. 😂😂😂

    • by the way if you didn’t know, it takes two people to get pregnant. Lol

    • Haha yeah but me and mine don't really let pillow talk effect us or take it to heart it just seems like no matter what we say or do ya think we're in love I don't know it's either ya running game too or ya see a connection that isn't there not saying it's right but come on being pregnant or married and claiming to love the guy and still out lurking looking for dick just seems kinda extra shady to me I just expect more from women claiming to be the better sex it's true a lot of us think with our dicks but at least we're up front about it I know it's a double standard but js being honest B)

  • There honestly shouldn't be a double standard. In my opinion, girl or guy, the one who cheated is at fault. The only time the side can be blamed is if they knew the person was in a relationship and went along with it anyway.

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  • You can not cheat unless you're married because cheating is terms only within a marriage. Any relationship outside of marriage is not legit and henceforth you are not obligated to stay faithful to anybody else. Fornicating with somebody you trust is not better than fornicating with something you don't trust.

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  • Because generally speaking the girl will be making the decision of sleeping with the guy in both situations.

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    • No... when it’s about two people, the decision is made by two people...

      That’s kinda.. basic knowledge xD

    • Sorry that was poorly worded. Think of Tinder as an example - most women will get 10 times as many matches as an 'equal' guy. Studies shows that women prefer to be asked out, whereas men prefer to do the asking. Men pursue, women decide whether they accept the guy or not. Whether this is a social construct or it is built in evolutionarily I'm not too sure. With this being said, I don't think I know anyone that would believe it's okay for a guy OR a girl to be a sideho. I'm just trying to articulate why I think one is stigmatised more than the other.

    • But that’s when two single people want to date each other. This is about being the sideho, which is extremely different. When someone cheats it’s because they decided to cheat, whether it’s a man or a woman. And even if the female is usually the one who “accepts” the male’s request... the male starts it, therefore he should be the one getting shamed worse right?

  • It's the cheater's fault, not the person he cheated with. Always. Cheaters are the scum of Earth.

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  • Because for a man it means he has higher social rank actually. No idea how but it does.

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    • That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard lol

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    • Same with girls... I mean I don't know why anyone would be proud to be the sideho/sidenigga or whatever tf u wanna call it

    • I'm not going to say you're wrong since there are many agendas at play here. It is really a matter of just acknowledging the differences in male and female hierarchies.

  • This isn't a real thing. Most men (generally speaking) find the idea abhorrent.

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    • even in songs, guys say “i fucked your girl” or “I’m mr steal yo girl” and thats like totally fine right? But the second a girl says these things, everyone calls her a slut or worse

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    • Look out kids. It's another edgy 12 year d feminist.

    • Poor men.

  • I think in the realm of cheating whether you were side ho husband or wife it us just a rotten hurtful thing to do. If you have been in love with someone and they cheated on you, you know the emotional pain it can cause. It's debilitating for some people. Everyone knows who the real problem is. The side ho becomes the excuse to help you heal. The cheater is still the problem though, and the hurt takes a long time to go away.

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  • Most guys just take a lot of pride in "stealing" a girl from someone else

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    • That’s my question

    • No, Asker that was NOT your question. Your question was about hypocrisy, not double standards.

    • 😂 your comments are a good way to laugh at how pathetically ignorant people like you are

  • What are you talking about no one celebrates the other man. The person who is cheating is proud of themselves but everyone else hates them. I know tons of guys who would beat up a guy who slept with their girlfriend behind their back.

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    • I’m talking about other people

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    • The guy who a girl cheats on is not gloried. No one likes someone who destroys someone's relationship. If they didn't know you can't blame them.

    • Yes he is. Because even in songs, guys say “i fucked your girl” or “I’m mr steal yo girl” and thats like totally fine right? But the second a girl says these things, everyone calls her a slut or worse

  • Thats because of the way society has been bred with things like "girls should stay virgin un til marriage" and such, simply put, local tradition

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  • actually if you are a sidepiece it doesn't matter if you are male or female you are a lame ass bitch and you need to get some goddamned respect for yourself (sassy snapping+head tilt)

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  • Who says it's a double standard? Both are sidehos. The guy is just as bad as the girl. Both are pieces of shit!

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    • But even in songs, guys say “i fucked your girl” or “I’m mr steal yo girl” and thats like totally fine right? But the second a girl says these things, everyone calls her a slut or worse

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    • Maybe since you’re 48...
      No but seriously, people in my age group do listen to those songs. It’s not that I listen to them, but others do and if it gets extremely popular I have no choice but to hear it from people

    • Well then maybe it's a problem with moronic young people. I have teen daughters and i let them control the radio and do not hear that crap. It's never right and smart people realize that stealing someone's boyfriend/girlfriend is always wrong.

  • Because patriarchy.

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  • It's called double standards.. Set up by men !!!

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  • It's not ok

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  • Men and women are different. Different rules apply

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  • Is the the dwarfs song
    Sideho, sideho!

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  • Guys are not “sidehos” you fool they are side men or side ni@&as

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  • As long as nobody knows. But, if the guy/girl is cheating just think about how you would feel in the same position and make a decision.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It’s not that there is some double standard. It’s the fact that women often blame the other woman instead of their asshole boyfriend out of denial !

    When a girl cheats he knows it’s on her rather than just the dude !

    If your partner is planing to cheat they are going to do it with the first person that is attractive to them and willing to do it. If it’s not with person 1 it may be with person 2 or 3

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  • I have her to meet a guy who would boast about sleeping with somebody else’s girlfriend.

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    • Lol, well that’s you. I’ve met plenty and I’m sure most of the people around you have as well.

  • Sexism

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  • Because they know women will still proudly date them regardless of their bad behavior. I don't know why most women haven't figured out why these kinds of double standards still exist.

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