Do you make a guy pay for the date a lot? Or guys do you refuse to let a girl pay for the date when she offers?

I normally offer, but a guy refused to. So I normally offer to pay for drinks or so. However in future don't want a guy to pay for me, unless we are further in our relationship. Only because I don't want a guy thinking I owe him something and used that against me.

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  • I haven't had any try to pay when I do, but I would refuse to let her pay.

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    • I wouldn't let her pay even if it was a really bad date. I just think the guy should do that, and wouldn't think she owed me something as a result.

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    • I would advise you to tell a guy in advance you want to pay for yourself to (hopefully) avoid the awkwardness.

    • Yeah good idea.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I'll pay for her if I feel like it or I'll let her pay half if I don't really feel like it. I've also had girls pay for me before which was interesting.

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    • Yeah that is interesting, maybe the girls who pay for you really likes you.

  • I'm married now, but I always insisted on paying for all my dates. I never thought my paying entitled me to anything or that my date owed me anything because I paid. I just feel it's proper for the guy to pay... I'm old fashioned I guess.

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  • If she didn't do any dealbreakers (read: on the phone all the time, not engaging in conversation, rude behaviour to others, etc.) I'll always offer to pay unless she insists to pay half (which yes, has happened in the past).

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    • Reading on the phone a no no lol. Paying in half seems ok.

  • I will refuse to pay for my date's meal on the first few dates, and rather opt for us each paying for our own food. If I paid for my date's meal on every first date I went on, and there weren't any second dates, I'd go bankrupt REAL fast. However, once we've been on enough dates that I'm confident we will form a lasting relationship, I'd be more than happy to treat her.

    If that's a problem with her, she wasn't the one anyway.

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  • This is such as great question, I am intrigued to see so many opinions so far

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    • Thank you and me to. Interesting answers so far.

  • When I first meet a girl, I let her pay a couple times. Just to gauge what she's like with money. I'll start off by being kind of an asshole and letting her pay for a lot and then if she doesn't say anything I start paying for pretty much everything until I think I've probably paid for more stuff and then the second part of the test is whether or not she goes back to insisting she pays for stuff. Either way, that's when I try to keep an even balance and I mostly stop keeping a tally.

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  • It's 90 percent a man's job and not something that you later owe him, I would let my partner occasionally treat me with a casual lunch or ice cream to keep her from feeling like she owes me.

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  • I think it is highly dependant on culture. Where I come from it is normal to split the bill when going out on date. Anything else is seen as a great compliment, but should never be expected.

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  • Who ever initiates the first date should pay for the date. Then after that they should share expenses. If the guy is paying for the date all the time, what are you offering in return? Sounds like prostitution to me.

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    • I never offer anything in return. He did initiates all the dates.

    • Guys that pay all the time are looking for sex in return. Simple as that. If he keeps paying and you don't and you also don't have sex, that is your business, and is his problem. I need to get to know someone before sex, so we would be dating for a few weeks before any intimacy started. I believe in equality, and I don't believe in men paying all the time. It doesn't have to be exactly 50/50, but I would expect you to pay your share. If I started dating someone and it became apparent she doesn't think she has to pay simply because she has a vagina, then someone else can be her pimp.

    • Yeah that what I was thinking, he wants something in return. Also when we first went out he was to close to my face as I was sitting he was standing hovering over me lol. So I expected he just want something in return in our first meeting. So I made an excuse. But he was really adamant of paying so I suggested to pay for drinks which I did. If I really like the guy and I we in a long term relationship I would pay or pay half or let him pay, because we are together. But for a guy I am not sure off I would definitely pay. Also for this guy i told him before we met it would be a friendly thing and he excepted. Then was surprised he offered to pay and he did not let me pay, then he text me saying that he liked our date

  • It's good to pay for your own consumption. It also makes you aware of the cost. You will appreaciated men's contribution more, if they are paying for you once in a while.

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  • Ok, if you have some sort of prejudice about prostitution... and pay for sex I can understand and I will even offer to pay, actually I will let you pay for my meal so you can pay for sex if that makes you feel more secure.

    As for "oweing him something" sorry bar, but you do. You owe him a open mind and a positive attitude with none of that mypussysospecial crap. You know you would blow guys for a cigarette or less when you're in the mood. If you hold your pussy as a prize, only men that think of pussy as a prize will put up with your tests and coyness.

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    • I don't owe him nothing.

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    • That why I offer to pay and on the future will pay. Would you do that, expect your date to owe you? Or you just saying that?

    • Re-read everything I said. You're confusing me with a feminist strawman and talking to it.

  • My date may pay anything she wants. I won't hesitate to accept it. Also from my experience girls like you more if you make them pay.

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  • I think It is more polite for the men to pay but if the girl offers then maybe they should agree to do halfs.

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  • It’s kind of a mans “job” to pay for dinner on the first date and after that he usually will want to split it.

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  • I pay for meals because if I initiate the date then it’s the nice thing to do

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  • I prefer to pay but if she's adamant I like it. It shows independence

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  • I say after a year of dating then that's when I feel it is more appropriate for the woman to pay

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  • Give n take

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  • Good girl

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  • I insist on paying, not because I actually want to at all, but you can’t trust a girl to be okay with a guy not paying. So basically guys are forced into it, no one wants to risk their shot with the girl.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I’ll always offer but he usually insists on paying. In the current situation, I don’t feel too bad about it because he lives forty minutes away and I do 99.9% of the driving so I’m blowing a lot o go money on gas to see him and he’s spending it on food while I’m there. It evens out.

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  • I don’t offer because arguing over tht is so lame, so I just go first and pay for myself

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  • I don't have a problem with paying myself.

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