Why do I pass up chances with guys to go on dates? and why do I feel no spark with some of them?

My question is somewhat typical, I talk to a lot of guys on text and they seem to be interested in me,. most of them, when I talk to them I feel no spark at all, sometimes they try to carry on the conversation with me and I do try to get into them, but something deep inside me doesn't want to, I don't know why. I like this one guy but he's a lost cause, he's a good looking man and many girls are after him and I know there is no chance for him and me (as he will be tempted to be unfaithful). So my question goes as follows, why do I pass up chances with guys to go on dates? and why do I feel no spark with some of them?

Also I don't want to be in a relationship anymore, it is a lot of drama with a guy and so much to deal with that its depressing to even think about!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't tell you who to date and who to be attracted to (you're either attracted or not) but it sounds strange to me that you only want this one guy. I mean, there are so many good guys out there and you only want one that you admit will probably give you trouble?

    Maybe you like the drama, or maybe you think you can just grab Mr. Popular and make him into your pretty little husband or something? I dunno, your whole post just sounds to me like you only want one guy but have already given up on him, so you say the hell with it.

    • You are absolutely right in my situation, and really this guy is a lost cause; you cannot have a decent conversation with him. But I wouldn't dream of making Mr. Popular my husband.

    • Well, either lower your standards or at least amend them. It sounds to me like you obsess over one guy - I used to do the same over girls too when I was in College and now that I look back a lot of the girls I passed up were so much nicer than the ones I was lusting after. There was one nobody dated because she was shy, but she was short, long blond curly hair, really pretty and super nice. I wish I could reach back in time and punch myself for going out with her popular bimbo friend haha.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There's nothing natural about dating, and it's in many ways demeaning, puting yourself out for bidding, basically. No wonder it turns you off.

  • Well, if you're not feeling it, then what's the problem? Though I have yet to experience pretty much anything regarding this issue, myself, I understand that the 'spark' is pretty important for at least the start of relationships.

    But what do I know?


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