Paying for dates or going dutch?

If a guy asks me out, anywhere... do I assume he is going to pay? Do we agree before we go or do I take cash with me just in case? I am nervous of this because I have noticed that guys don't like to pay anymore - the dating game is expensive and there are no guarantees that you like her, see her again or whatever. And what about guy friends? Do girls expect the guys to pay? Do guys feel the pressure that they will have to pay for people (girls)?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that if someone asks you out and they choose the location it's a pretty safe bet that they're going to pay. Bring enough money to cover your own tab just in case, but if you end up having to actually dip into that money then you have every right to not go on a second date with the guy.

    Personally, when I ask someone out on a date, I cover their bill for the logical reason that I don't know what their budget will allow for. When I choose a place I'm doing it knowing that I can afford it, but I can't say the same for them. Logically, for that same reason, if the girl asked me out and picked the location I would expect her to pay due to that same uncertainty.

    Do I feel any pressure to pay? No. It's not a pressure thing. It's a logic thing for the reason I mentioned above.

    That being said, in a perfect world, going dutch would be the way to go. And if a girl absolutely INSISTED on paying for her end of the tab, I wouldn't argue with her about it and I would think she was a keeper. It's definitely a way of giving yourself "bonus points" in the guy's eyes because it's on the small list of things you can do right off the bat to show that you deserve to be respected and treated as an equal.

    As friends, everyone generally pays their own way but if one person can't cover their end and I can afford to I have no problems with paying for them. I've done it before and what's a few bucks between friends?


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What Guys Said 3

  • You should _always_ have money with you; at least $20.00 --- for emergencies.

    Like cab fare home.

    It's a ``secret stash.'' They used to call it ``Mad money.'' If either or both of you get mad at each other, you have a way home.

    About paying: it seems as though the pendulum is swinging the other way. Guys always used to pay; then liberated women started paying for themselves. Now these liberated women want the guy to pay. This isn't fair. All of the benefits and little responsibility.

    It's penury on both sides now that money is becoming scarce.

    This is an issue that needs to be decided in advance of a date.

    • Yes, thongs are changing but how do you suggest the girl approach the subject?

  • always pay your share, I love it when girls pay there way then I know there no interested in my money, I don't see why guys should always pay. :P

  • Just pay your half and have him pay his half. 50/50 is fair. If I go on a date and I sense the girl is not for me, I make her pay half. If we are both feeling some type of connection, I'll gladly pay for her.

    • If a guy asked me on a date, picked the place, decided he wasn't that into me and had me pay half, I'd be very offended & wish I hadn't gone at all. That's what a date is, figuring out if you like someone. Half of the time you're not going to click. There's still room for a friendship if you're polite though. It's not necessarily the girl's fault and that doesn't mean you lose all manners. You asked her, you picked the place, you pay. If I asked a guy out I would surely act the same.

    • yes but be realistic, women never ask guys out, so where does that leave us?

What Girls Said 1

  • I've never gone on a dinner date with a guy

    and had to pay.

    As soon as the check comes,

    they automatically take out their wallet.

    I insist on paying for my share, but I don't even finish the sentence

    and the check with gone again...

    I do feel bad that guys think they have to pay for everything,

    but at the same time, it shows me he is being a gentleman :]

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