Should I date her, be her friend or stay away for awhile?

Well, I worked with this girl not knowing anything about her. We exchanged glances, flirted casually, but never really went beyond there for a couple of weeks. One day out of the blue she asked me out for drinks with her friends and I went along. That night we had a really good time and we ended up watching tv, giving each other backrubs, and holding each other. The next morning we hugged.but I could tell by her body language that maybe she had a boyfriend, which when I called the next day I found out she was in a long-distance relationship.however, she is struggling with it and would totally date me if that wasn't the case.

My question is I know it is not logically possible to date her, but I haven't felt so strongly towards a woman on a first real encounter in such a long time, like years! I can't even think about dating anymore because I find myself really attracted to her in many ways. I want to be her friend, but I want to hold back other emotions as well because I don't want to be the jerk that breaks up her long-distance relationship or her rebound either. So, I know if we go out as friends, we will probably end up all over one another (especially if alcohol is involved) so, I want to stay away for awhile but I don't want to lose her.

Help me, I can't see clearly.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't stop hanging out with her. You can hang out with her, but make sure you don't put yourself in the situation where you might do something you'd regret. Let her know if possible when things are going too far because she has a boyfriend. Once she realizes that she can't do what she wants because of her boyfriend she might consider getting rid of him to see how things go with you.

    So basically, be the "flirty friend" and only stay away if it seems like it's too hard to be with her because she's always taking things too far while having a boyfriend.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should be honest with her. I mean I respect that you don't want to be the jerk to break up her boyfriend and her. But, she did ask you out and you realized you had feelings. It's not you're fault. So be honest with her and see what happens. Maybe she has feelings for you two but, she just doesn't know what to do with them.


What Guys Said 1

  • She of course finds you attractive. Otherwise you would not be able to do what you said you did with her. There are a couple of flaws though, you did not mention how serious their relationship was before he moved away how far away he is and when he is coming back and how long he's been gone. She is probably just lonely, and misses him a lot but he cannot give her the comfort at the moment, on the other hand there is you, who she likes spending time with. You did however say that you went out for a few drinks and that same night you did all that, so how drunk was she? I would play it by ear, depends of course what you are looking for. If you go out and get wasted again and she makes a more sexual move on you that would be the time where you decide do you really want this girl as your girlfriend or a small fling. Besides you do not want to get on a bad side of someone you don't even know, what if she would do something like that to you? I'd say just be her friend, find out (if you already did not) more things about her relationship, try to hang out with her whenever you can but don't come on too strong, she DOES have a bf, it could scare her off. Also try to do something with her without the alcohol involved. If she spends more and more time with you I would be honest with her and tell her how things are. See what she says to that. Don't get too attached though, this is a real shoot or miss thing.