(Love triangle) Should I go with my brain or my heart?

I met these two guy's 6months ago, guy 1 is a year older than me and he's planning on joining the army, he's sweet and kind, as soon as we first met each other we were best friends, spending everyday together and I'm completely crazy for him but lately I've been getting fed up of waiting for him to tell me his true feelings as I've told him mine. like I said before he's very sweet but he sometimes doesn't understand and is careless with my feelings, we also don't have much in common at all. Sometimes I feel he's going to end up braking my heart as he's already unintentionally hurting my feelings and I've sent many nights crying myself to sleep over him because he's not being straight with me and confusing me.

Guy 2 is 23, has a lot more life experience then guy 1, he's got a master's degree in computer science and electric engineering and even though he comes from a extremely privileged and wealthy family , he's not had any help from them to get were he, he's, unlike another guy I know. The only thing is he's very cocky, has some anger issues, thinks he can have whatever he wants without asking for it and brags a lot about his life to try and impress me.

When I first met guy 2 I had to sit in his office and we wouldn't speak; it was very awkward, till one day he came and gave me something of mine from the post and we hit it off as soon as we started talking. At first I thought he was gay but then we went to a party together and he tried to get me drunk and sleep with me. The next day we had a massive fight about it and then he told me he was sorry and that he was in love with me and he couldn't control himself but I don't love him back I JUST can't I'm crazy for guy 1 even though he steps allover my feelings and doesn't have as much determination as guy 2.

I think I could learn to love guy 2 with time and he make sure I was looked after and I think If I went with guy 1 it be a very short, passionate relationship and then he'd move on and brake my heart.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Forget guy 2. Maybe guy 1 is just having difficulty opening up. If he's not experienced in doing it it can be really hard to do. I'd say persist with guy 1, try to get more out if him on why he's not opening up. If you don't get anywhere, it may be he's not capable of doing it at this point in his life. You may need to let go of him too

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  • This whole scenario is shit. Go look for an entirely new guy. Both of these guys are shit. Go find the guy that has one degree can interpret, reciprocate your feelings and isn't on some fucking loser joining the army shit. That way he won't try to get you drunk to sleep with you, you'll have a chance at love, and hopefully a long lasting relationship.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • DONT CHOOSE ANY OF THEM GIRL PLEASE.
    DEFINITELY NOT THE SECOND GUY.
    do u realise what it means that he wanted to have sex with a drunk you all because he couldnt "control" himself. u knw it could have led to a rape god forbid.
    dont take him at all. u myt go for his money but ultimately you ll end up regretting ur decision. he will never respect you coz he doesn't respect u as a person even now. avoid him at all costs.
    and you can try with the first guy. guve him some time. be outrught and see if it works out. see if he undsrstands in a few months. otherwise u gotta leave him.
    the first guy might break ur heart but in second guy s case u urself will break ur heart.

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  • Guy #1 sounds like you enjoy what he could be right now, but with no real options of him staying around- it sounds like an obvious no-go. Starting a relationship while a guy is in the army is just not emotionally healthy for you. You clearly need someone that you can be close with physically and emotionally.

    Guy #2 sounds like someone you think you are supposed to be with (like he is your plan B), but is clearly not for you. It would be selfish to lie to your heart and to him.

    Consider these quotes:
    - "The right attention from the wrong guy during a lonely time could fool you into thinking that he might be the one."
    - "Don't settle for a relationship that won't allow you to be yourself."
    - "An intelligent person will open your mind, a handsome man will open your eyes and a gentleman will open your heart."
    - "You can be everything that you need. You can be your own hero. All you need to do is learn to love yourself."

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 46

  • I have to side with Kaos on this one. It shouldn't be something you have to think about this much. It sounds like the $$$$ is what is keeping #2 in consideration. Oh, and his 'determination'... smh, he's trying to get laid. He said he hit on you because he loved you? Really? He also brags, he's cocky, tries to get you drunk and have sex with him, AND has anger issues. Those were all your words. None of the above is a red flag to you?

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  • How is this a triangle? You already know that guy 2 isn't even an option. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you're going to suddenly become attracted you him if you start dating him. If anything things will get worse.

    No joke, keep drooling over guy 1 until either he expresses interest in you or until him not being interested doesn't bother you anymore and then find someone else. "Settling" is how girls become single mothers.

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  • If it's seriously a decision that you have to think about and ask people about, you shouldn't choose either.

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  • Guy 2 sounds like a timebomb. Anger issues and thinks he can take anything without asking AND tried to almost date rape you? He's bound to hurt you, emotionally and physically.

    Guy 1 is a much better option, just might not be to sure of how to express feelings.

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  • Wow. This is very tough. Still, I believe guy 1 is really shy or has something conflicting. Why not you try digging on the heart of the problem and try to solve it together?

    As a believer of heart, I don't want to be with guy 2 even if he's rich. He's lusting over you, not loving. Ew.

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  • u shouldn't have to learn to love someone, it's the 21st century, you have choices. you've already identified red flags with guy no.2. you need to communicate better with guy no.1 and tell him how you feel otherwise it's difficult to commit to someone about to go away for a long time. honestly, I'd say dump both and keep your options open, when guy no.1 returns you can try again if you wanted but don't waste time waiting around.

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  • If you had to choose, definitely go with that army guy. But he won't be so available for you, if that's bad. The 2nd guy, I see warning signs all over him, I would avoid him. He sounds like a guy with issues. Nobody would blame you if you moved on from both of them to focus on yourself.

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  • Guy 1 could like you back but not tell you his feelings in case something happens in army or not like you guy 2 sounds like a dude who will forget about and treat you like shit once he gets you so I would say maby someone else but if not go with brain of guy 2 isn't cocky around you

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  • I think you should neither go with guy 1 and nor with the guy 2, you dont have only two guys in this life. You have a lot of ice creams in this world and you just need to grab another empty spoon instead of only having a choice of deciding from those two spoons. So go for it and find the one who you think is perfect for you. For whom you font have to ask anyome here.

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  • First off, never be with somebody you have to learn to love, that's what your family is for. Guy one sounds more promising but you would need to understand what it would be like when he is gone. Doesn't sound like he's too interested in commitment either anyway.

    Bottom line you are too young for this %$#& go meet some other guys, have fun you're young stay safe

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  • I say dont go with either. They both dont sound guys that would be a good boyfriend. Guy number two's cockiness and anger issues won't change, you won't be able to change that about him no girl will. Move on, find another guy. There's no such thing as a solemate, you will love multiple people throughout your life so don't think that these are the only guys you can have. They're 2 out of 150+million guys in the USA

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  • In short, I would wait and find better. Neither one of them deserve you. Both of them have issues which I wouldn't advise anyone to settle for. Especially at such a young age.

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  • Guy 2 had issues you already described as not something you like... Those won't change and if you fall for him, he won't need to change them... Don't even consider him

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  • I feel like to should wait for guy #1 (the army guy)
    Guy number 2 tried to get to you drunk to take advantage of the situations if he did it to you pretty sure he will try again with some else so in this case he is not trust worthy..
    Cool?😀😀

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  • I would say go with your heart, but guy 1 seems clueless, maybe you should stop talking to him for awhile and see if he cares more than he shows.

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  • Really let this sink in.
    If you truly loved guy 1, guy 2 wouldn't even be crossing your mind.
    You need to be faithful.

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    • She's not in a relationship shithead. Fucking pathetic noob.

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    • @erick444 dude, that makes no sense at all. She isn't in a relationship with either, also fyi it's completely possible to love more than one person at the same time, it does not mean that one's love for the other person goes away.

    • Thank you @Stellastarling. @erick444 I left my response at your level cause it's truly pathetic. I even used the word noob. I haven't been a teenager in a long time.

  • If you go with your heart , you will have peace of mind... if you go with your brain... You might have regrets buts that's ok... since it was what you logically decided

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  • Guy one, work with him, talk to him about your feelings, see if he responds.

    Don't try to be subtle either, outright tell him.

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  • Tell guy 2 to stop listening to pick up artist advice as you aren't interested in being his 1 night stand. If his attitude improves great, if not find someone else.

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  • I think guy1 is better for u. Coz he is decent and have certain values. Unlike the guy2 he tried a trick.

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What Girls Said 17

  • In the Bible jeremiah 17:9 the Bible say that your heart can really deceive you, so don’t listen to you’re heart:
    «The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?» Jeremiah 17:9

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  • If the first guy hasn't told you how he felt by now let him go. The second guy sounds like a lying spoiled brat. He only wants in your pants because if he really loved you he wouldn't have tried to trick you. You're going to hit it off with many people in your life but few are worthy. Listen to 'Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)' by Baz Luhrmann

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  • I think both guys suck honestly. Both might have a lot going for them, but there character suck. I'd go for option 3, get a puppy.

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  • Both suck and you could do better. I'm stuck in a similar situation but my guys aren't anything like that.

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  • None. I wouldn't date you if a was a man and you chose me just because someone on the internet told you.

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  • Follow your heart. Which guy do you think will make you happy even through his rough times. The guy that you think willl mame you happy and care for yoy is always the best guy

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  • Heart cause it's the psycho one. Brain handle after the disaster.

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  • Um... Is going for neither of the guys an option? Neither of them are right for you.

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  • I think you shouldn't go to neither of them. I believe you could find better than this two guy :)

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  • Brain is the way to go

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  • Guy 1.

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  • Guy #1

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  • Both have some negative in them so I don't know

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  • Go with your heart

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  • Guy 2 seems abusive. I 'll go for guy one

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  • Just stop it isn't worth the it

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  • Guy 2 seems better I'm my opinion. i don't know if it would be as long as with guy 1 but at least it would be a very passionate relationship

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