What do you do when your girlfriend is mad at you?

Do you give her space? or be persistent?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It depends on the reason why she is mad and on her personality.
    Some girls are stupid and they think they are always right, get mad without an actual reason and the only way to make things good with them is saying sorry (even if it is not your fault lol). Unfortunately, I know personally such girls...

    For me - I love the communication. I would tell you what's wrong and give you a time to explain your point of view in some situation. I also don't like to argue with anyone and I am mostly mad only for a short time. So I usually need a moment of a space to calm down so we don't talk emotionally. Then just talk, smile, hug/kiss and that's it.

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    • @minhana which part are you laughing from? Or the whole? ;p

    • Just funny all you said.

  • It depends on what type of person she is when she's mad. Is she the immature one that refuses to talk to you and ignores you immediately? If so, then ignore her right back and tell her to stop being a child. If she's the mature type, ask her what's wrong and talk things out with her to come up with a solution.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • We almost have a routine.

    If it is a minor issue - like me getting on my high horse on some issue or other - my girlfriend will usually smile at me, roll her eyes, and either pat me on the cheek or give me a little kiss. I melt every time.

    If it is something minor that she did - in my opinion - I just say in a sort of timid voice, "N'yes dear." Then she will smile and say, "Stop that!! You know I'm right..." and we usually bust out laughing.

    If it is more serious, we will usually raise our voices, but we don't scream. We are just not that way. It will usually go on a bit until one of us says, "Okay, it's not that big a deal. I'm sorry."

    Alternatively, if it goes on we will usually get quiet. We may not speak for a bit and then one of us - usually my girlfriend - will go to bed early. She'll sit in bed and read and I will climb into bed and turn my back to her.

    We have a rule that we never go to sleep angry at each other. So it is almost an inflexible routine. Before one or the other of us is ready to go to sleep, if my girlfriend is about to call it a night she will usually put her hand on shoulder and will say, "Honey, it's not that important. I love you." I'll reply, "Love you sweetheart. You're still the best thing that ever happened to me." She'll then lean over and we kiss and then she'll turn out the lights.

    If it is me. I'll usually roll over and look at her and then, in a sing-songy voice I'll say, "Hoooooonnnneeeeyyy, I wuuuuvvvvv you." She'll roll her eyes - she has to do that a lot with me as her boyfriend - smile and bend down kiss me, say "You are incorrigible," and then I smile and turn back over and go to sleep.

    By next morning it is forgotten.

    That's how we have done it for as long as I can remember. We have dated for 12 years, lived together for ten and have three children together and are totally in love. So it must work.

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  • Give her a day to be mad and give her space. The next day approach her to talk.

    Give her a hug or cuddle with her and say, "I want you to talk to me about everything that you are feeling."

    Women are emotional and feeling based. Sometimes all they need is to verbally talk about their feelings and how they feel. Guys are more logical and solution based. They view arguments based on rationality. For most women what matters is for you to understand how she feels.

    So it is really just simple. Just hold her hand or cuddle with her and ask her to talk about what she is feeling. THen when she is done say, "Tell me more. I don't want you to leave anything out." Because in the first round they will will be cryptic and afraid to fully express themselves for fear you will do something stupid like interrupt her or argue your case. NEVER EVER DO THIS. Just keep letting her talk about how she feels.

    Don't interrupt her. DOn't give your side of the story. Just talk about feelings. Just really shut up and let her talk. Then ask questions like, "Did you hate me when I did that?" or "I must have hurt you really bad.." or "I am so sorry.. It hurts me to know that I caused you so much pain."

    Never argue. Never make a logical or rational based response. If you get good you often dont even have to admit you are wrong. You can just get her to talk about how she feels.

    At some point she will say, "Whew! I am so happy we talked about this. You are such a great man for listening." Only when she says something like this you are in the clear and good. Otherwise just get her to keep talking while refraining from telling what your side is.

    Then end it with, "I want you to know that you matter so much to me. I want you to know we can talk about anything. I am sorry you felt so hurt. I didn't mean that baby.."

    Follow this advice and I promise you that you will be having sex within hours. I did this and I literally was having sex with my girl within 45 minutes of the issue being resolved.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 44

  • Be sure to know your fault and fix it...

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    • But if it's not your fault to begin with

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    • The guy said it wasn't his fault... your suggesting it possibly was his fault. But the question is if it wasn't. Talk to her, be willing to compromise. But compromising isn't you taking the blame for something you didn't do. You need good communication and equality in any relationship. Thats the only way it will work.

    • Actually it is way much complicated when no one takes the blame so if they both agree on the compromesion then its fine but if they don't it is lack of communication and trust and one shouldn't one mad they can short out with discussion but if one of them is playing "love games" then things get complicated there so as long as it's not a game everything will be fine in few minutes but if it's a love game then the relationship will become toxicโ˜บ

  • Ask her really simple questions that won't hurt her pride to respond to ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ฐ my boyfriend does it.

    He says "okay Ari, do you want me to stay?"
    And "wanna talk about it?"
    And just apologize. Say you didn't think it would bother her or etc.

    And if she isn't TOO mad, sing a song on the top of your lungs, make her dance, put music and bring chocolates.

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    • Did that but all I got was chocolate and sex isn't the solution for everything ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • When my boyfriend knows I'm upset, he will give me space and then will text me saying " are you okay silly butt?" even though I will still be mad or not done crying because I'm angry, I can't help but smile and call him so we can talk instead of arguing.
    But it also depends on what happened.

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  • My boyfriend is very level headed about these sorts of things. He asks me what's wrong and will try to talk through it.

    lol but sometimes I'm not even mad and he's asking... ugh rbf.

    How you handle your girlfriend being mad kinda depends on what happened. Some things do require a bit of space, others need immediate action.

    I think if she's very angry, do give her some time.

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  • Empathize, understand, listrn for feelings and needs, encourage her to talk, but you don't need to give advice And you don't need to solve her problems.

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    • Can you explain why you dont want us to offer solutions to your problems? Men think very logically so its just natural. Is it because you just want us to listen, understand, and connect emotionally with you?

    • @joshb sometimes talking just helps us know ourselves more, and then we can come to the conclusions ourselves! Besides, we are getting something when you listen, empatjize, affirm our needs and our values... we are getting validations that we matter. We are not crying for a savior, just for love and acceptance.

  • Lol be persistent and donโ€™t fuel the fire.. if u give her space might as well tell her you donโ€™t care !!

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  • If that is all the information you're willing to give us, then don't expect useful answers because they will all be very generic and general.

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  • i suggest giving her space to breathe but not for too long or sheโ€™ll get mad that youโ€™re not giving her attention n will think you donโ€™t care that sheโ€™s upset.

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  • I would say give her space, while at the same time let her know youโ€™re there when sheโ€™s ready to talk.

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  • Give her space to cool down. But don't appear to be giving up on her. Depending on why she is mad, just leave her alone for a few days.

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  • Give her flowers and chocolates and apologize or whatever she likes, buy it for her and apologize, it works, if she's still mad give her space.

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  • Mine is just really persistent when I need my space and then gets mad at me because of that.

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    • I used to do that, I hope he learns soon, it is hard to know that you just need space it feels like you hate us and we don't want that. I think if she would of told me she loves me but needs space that might of helped, you can try it, but I assume it is hard to do when you are mad.

    • I'll give that a try.

  • Give her space, donโ€™t try to talk to her until sheโ€™s had a chance to cool down.

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  • Tell her "I know your upset, but you can tell me how you feel when you're ready to talk about it."

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    • My thoughts exactly. This is how I handle such problems. Let her know, then give some space and time to recover. :)

  • Give her space and eventually sheโ€™ll come running back to you

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  • I think space, let her cool down a little bit then approach her about the problem

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  • Give her space, but not too much space that she thinks you don't care.

    Do something generous and apologize.

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  • go out with one of my boyfriends and ignore till she crawls back

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  • Give her a breather, then when she's calmed down apologize if you're wrong.

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  • Always stay respectful and nice, it will pass.
    Unless you did something completely unacceptable..

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What Guys Said 104

  • Depends little what it is. manny times is it some of her shitt that you get shitt for or she is taking it out on you some frustration that doesn't need to have anything to do with you. many female's in early age tend to take it out on their boyfrind/husband (very destructiv behavior for a relationship).

    The question is if you want to make her grow fast or just let it blow over and maybe hope she will mature on her own by giving spase and ignore.

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  • Depends on the person,,,

    But in my experience, at least with the majority of women, you can deal with this in two ways:
    1) ask her whats wrong , what happened, what did i do, what can i do, etc and keep doting on her till she is alright again.

    2) grin at her when she is mad, play on her anger (i. e. make fun of how she behaves, or tell her she looks cute when mad) and then just do your own thing, let her be.
    Then after a while have some food together, or get her something if you dont want to eat/she doesn't want to eat together.
    (when you leave, she WILL eat it)

    Then just go watch tv or have a beer or something (as long as you stay in the house).

    Now, i used to do 1) with my first girlfriend and the latter one with every other woman in my life.

    Not only does 2) make you feel a lot better about yourself and avoid negativity, but it also works better.
    The first way kinda tires and eventually annoys them.
    No woman wants her man to be a pushover, no matter what they say.

    And sometimes you need to put her in her place.
    As long as you show that you care ( dont act like you dont give af about her state) irs not that big of a deal.

    You just have to acknowledge her emotions.

    Women are gonna get mad from time to time.
    Thats just how it is.
    It doesn't mattet what you do or dont.
    Its gonna happen. You are gonna have to deal with it

    I learned to do it the second way over time. You will figure out how it works in your case. But dont be overly apologizing or giving into the drama.

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  • It depends on why she'd be mad.

    If she's irrationally mad at me over something I don't think is a big deal, I'll give her some space, and will usually compromise.

    If it's a big deal, I'll try to work it out with her, and if that is futile, I'll give her some space, and try again at a later time. If that doesn't work, I'll try the same thing again a couple of times, then ask for help from a family member or a mutual friend.

    A little diplomacy goes a long way.

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  • This is one I've never figured out. It depends on the person and why they are upset. Some women require a renewal of your commitment to their happiness by means of a physical or emotional gesture. Some want to come to you when they are ready to talk. Just be open and honest with her about your feelings and hope that she does the same.

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  • Nothing you can do. She's going to be mad no matter what you do or don't do. Anything you do will likely make her more mad. Women are inherently irrational most of the time any, and unreasonably so when they're angry. Put on body armor if you can't see her 100% of the time, cuz you might be about to get stabbed.

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  • You have to give her space to ride it out. A lot of times I find she's not exactly mad at me. But rather mad at the situation, which of course still comes back. However, you have to realize that a woman's emotional life is like an ocean of ebbs and currents

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  • From my experience they don't like having space... they like to be persistent

    Talk about what happened and take everything that she might say about it or about you until everything is out

    All this while listening and comfort her until it's all over

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  • I suppose you could give her space, but that's just going to calm her down,... not solve the issue. To solve the problem, talk it out between the 2 of you. That's why communication is always important.

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  • I try to be persistent at the beginning, but sometimes this only cause more problems, so it is a good idea to give her some time and space, it is better to talk about the problem after a few days when both of you are in a better mood.

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  • Depends on her personality, my future wife is the type that has to mull things over and me asking her about it will just make her angrier.

    I usually leave her be and she comes to me to talk about it once she's mentally mulled it over.

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  • Ohh there are reasons off why she is angry. Most of the time I could take care but sometimes nope. She still remembers something I did 6 months ago lol.. I thought she would be forgotten or forgiven but nope

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  • When she has a real reason, we usually speak about the problem to solve it. However if she is mad at me because of trivial problem, I don't care about it.

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  • You better keep saying sorry. Even if you didn't do anything wrong. Buy her favorite candy for her, compliment her, tell her how much you appreciate her.

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  • Find out what the grievance is and then if it's actually legitimate, talk it out. If she's just being petty, leave her alone and go do shit by yourself until she decides to get over it

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  • Being upset is reasonable and expected from time to time but if my wife can't explain why then it becomes a problem since it's then obvious I'm being the scapegoat for something else.

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  • Generally it's not an issue given she'll move on over time.
    If she's acting wild, then I spank her ass with a belt or hair brush.

    Its as simple as that.

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  • Space with a friendly smile and show her you understand how she can be upset and explain that thereโ€™s always an ability to discuss it later to fix it

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  • I hug her and tell her calm down. It's ok. If she's still mad I say sorry then if she asks for time I give her some time.

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  • I ask her what she is mad about it. I talk and communicate and i do want to make things better.

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  • I try to calm her down hugging her and kissing her on her cheeks and promising her I wouldn't do it again

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