- YesVote A
- NoVote B
- Im singleVote C
Most Helpful Girl
What are you keeping a secret? That's what matters. Is is that you ate 15 to 20 cookies last night and that you stole a lip gloss when you were 13 or is it that you were texting a guy from work inappropriately?
If it's the first two then big deal if it's the third then it actually is a big deal.
I think little secrets are ok but if they are secrets that have the potential to cause issues or harm to the other person emotionally then that's a problem.
All my "big" secrets that don't even have to do with him are out in the open. Eventually all that crap comes to light anyway so you might as well spill the beans now and see where all the pieces land versus being with someone long term and then having everything come out. Not only are you a liar and proved yourself to be untrustworthy then but you might have also destroyed the relationship. I'd much rather give them all the information and let them decide if they're willing to continue the relationship.
Relationships need communication and trust, without it there's no point.7
Most Helpful Guy
Absolutely! I have a moral, ethical, and legal obligations to keep certain secrets from certain people. My significant other shouldn't know every single secret I have.
There are professional secrets, like doctor-patient confidentiality (similar to lawyer-client confidentiality), or classified and privileged information and trade secrets. Exposing these secrets could lead me to lose my job, lose my license to practice, lose a lot if money in fines, and possibly lose my freedom, let alone my professionalism and integrity.
Also, if a friend asks me to keep a secret even from my woman, I would keep it from her faithfully. Telling her (unless absolutely necessary) would be a serious betrayal.
Look, I'm all for transparency and honesty to a high degree, but there is a limit to what you can it should share with your significant other. They need to understand that. It also goes the other way. You should accept that your significant other may have secrets they can't share with you.3