Do you keep secrets from your partner?

Do you keep secrets from your partner?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Im single
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girls

  • What are you keeping a secret? That's what matters. Is is that you ate 15 to 20 cookies last night and that you stole a lip gloss when you were 13 or is it that you were texting a guy from work inappropriately?
    If it's the first two then big deal if it's the third then it actually is a big deal.
    I think little secrets are ok but if they are secrets that have the potential to cause issues or harm to the other person emotionally then that's a problem.
    All my "big" secrets that don't even have to do with him are out in the open. Eventually all that crap comes to light anyway so you might as well spill the beans now and see where all the pieces land versus being with someone long term and then having everything come out. Not only are you a liar and proved yourself to be untrustworthy then but you might have also destroyed the relationship. I'd much rather give them all the information and let them decide if they're willing to continue the relationship.
    Relationships need communication and trust, without it there's no point.

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    • Totally agree. My ex decided to hide the fact he was a recovering alcoholic because he wanted a chance with me and didn't want to turn me off. As the relationship progressed he then realized that if he told me the truth he could lose me so when we got to the 8 mth mark he actually relapsed and his drinking became a massive issue in his life, he was hiding the extent of the amount he was drinking and what he was drinking. At times he would have an occasional drink in front of me but he had his set up in his car in the garage at my place. When he went off for a cigarette he would drink spirits from a flask quite regularly. I noticed some things were off in the relationship by this point and one day we had a massive blow up and all was revealed when he told me he had relapsed. All this time he hid, lies and secrets, broke every ounce of trust I had in him. We are no longer together sadly. I was truly in love with this man, was awful to have it end like this.

  • Personally I have told every good, bad, and other thing about myself my life, past, hopes etc that I could think of as well as whatever has been asked by my partner. I don’t think it makes sense to have secrets from that person. How can you know if they really love you for you if you hide parts and pieces? But that’s just my own opinion and like an anus we all have one

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes I will. It will be that I ever looked at porn. Saying that I looked at it in highschool killed my last relationship. She flipped out and constantly brought it up. Saying that I need to work to get over it. The dumb thing was all I wanted was her. Girls don't get that fake sex porn can't compare to being with your girlfriend. Even if it is just holding her hand.

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  • Absolutely! I have a moral, ethical, and legal obligations to keep certain secrets from certain people. My significant other shouldn't know every single secret I have.

    There are professional secrets, like doctor-patient confidentiality (similar to lawyer-client confidentiality), or classified and privileged information and trade secrets. Exposing these secrets could lead me to lose my job, lose my license to practice, lose a lot if money in fines, and possibly lose my freedom, let alone my professionalism and integrity.

    Also, if a friend asks me to keep a secret even from my woman, I would keep it from her faithfully. Telling her (unless absolutely necessary) would be a serious betrayal.

    Look, I'm all for transparency and honesty to a high degree, but there is a limit to what you can it should share with your significant other. They need to understand that. It also goes the other way. You should accept that your significant other may have secrets they can't share with you.

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What Girls Said 31

  • Totally agree. My ex decided to hide the fact he was a recovering alcoholic because he wanted a chance with me and didn't want to turn me off. As the relationship progressed he then realized that if he told me the truth he could lose me so when we got to the 8 mth mark he actually relapsed and his drinking became a massive issue in his life, he was hiding the extent of the amount he was drinking and what he was drinking. At times he would have an occasional drink in front of me but he had his set up in his car in the garage at my place. When he went off for a cigarette he would drink spirits from a flask quite regularly. I noticed some things were off in the relationship by this point and one day we had a massive blow up and all was revealed when he told me he had relapsed. All this time he hid, lies and secrets, broke every ounce of trust I had in him. We are no longer together sadly. I was truly in love with this man, was awful to have it end like this.

    This same guy I also found out was trying to get his ex girlfriend a job at his work. Never once thought to tell me that important piece of information or that it was possible he would be seeing her each and everyday, yep omitted that from me after 8 months together, apparently my feelings or concerns were not a priority.

    Or the fact he was on a German Community page on facebook trying to find new friends which in itself was not the issue but the issue was he was making new friends on that page with other females and not once thought it was important to let his girlfriend (me) know that... shady much!!

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  • Hmm, I don't tell him everything that happens or everything I ever think but I don't think I really keep secrets from him. Anything that involves him or could affect our relationship is something he's told and generally, I'm open about pretty much anything he'd ever want to talk about but I need a little privacy too. I don't necessarily see that as keeping a secret though.

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  • Unless The Secret that you're hiding is because you did somthing you shouldn't have or you really fucked up. There's no reason you should have to tell your partner every single secret you've ever had. Although if you or someone else did something bad that's harmful to your relationship I think you should tell your partner other person.

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  • Yea, sometimes. I'm a firm believer in the fact that couples don't have to know every single tiny detail about the other's life. And if one partner is very insecure, lord, you definitely don't have to tell them everything ex) say this super hot guy hit on you... do not tell your insecure boyfriend that.
    tact people... lol goes a long way.

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  • Although I've told him almost everything, I didn't tell him yet how much more lucrative investments I have. He's not my husband yet. I plan to reveal these secrets as anniversary gifts throughout the years. Besides those, I have no other secrets.

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  • Nope he knows everything about me since he is in my head

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  • Nope! There’s no reason to. I show him conversations I have on here. Mostly so we can laugh together about the trolls trolling. If I’m going out alone, I tell him where I’ll be. Which that’s a smart, safety measure everyone should do. That way if you’re kidnapped or murdered, there’s a trail for to follow. Point being, trust & honesty is very important in relationships to me. I don’t have to share absolutely everything with my partner. He never makes me feel controlled by him. Or like I have to hide things & ask permission to do stuff. We’re just naturally really open with one another.

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  • No, honesty is absolutely essential if you want the relationship to last.

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  • yeah some but i think from my opinion secrets are something not so important but most be in relationship.,., i can't say everything

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  • Why do i need to keep secrets from him? He's my bae ❤️ and my bestiee! He knows it all ❤️❤️❤️

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  • I don't keep my own secrets from him. Secrets that others have I do, cause it's none of his business

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  • I don’t keep secrets from my boyfriend. It just leads to problems down the line best to just be honest.

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  • I don't have a partner, but I'm keeping my feelings a secret from my crush so lol

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  • If someone tells me something in confidence I don't tell anyone partner included

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  • There's some secrets you just keep for yourself.

    If no one is in danger, than why not have a secret or two for yourself.

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    • A lot actually. She is going through a ton of really bad things right now and I do not want to add my petty worries to hers. Nothing like cheating or anything that would really make it hard on us, but still I keep a lot of secrets. Like I know her brother may be a father very soon. She does not.

    • @AmtgardJean I think you're making the right decision by not telling her now. There's a time and a place for everything

    • please at least tell me one l know at least one of your secrets yes its that one?

  • Yes but they're not things that will harm the relationship. Just personal life things that I like to keep to myself

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  • Nope. Shit I tell him all the drama as if he's a homegirl or something 🤷🏻😂

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  • it depends i guess?
    well i am single and have never been in a relationship so I don't know but yea

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  • No. He knows everything

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  • I don't hide anything from him and the only thing I hid was finding when I was pregnant

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    • So you never told him?

    • Show All
    • She hid it but then eventually told him she was pregnant

    • @red324 I told him, I just didn't want to worry him about me since something could happen no I didn't get an abortion, I didn't really hide it , I just didn't tell him since I had a problem with carrying an baby

  • I have told him absolutely everything about me. He’s my boyfriend of 3 years and he says he loves me but he talks sh*t about me to his best friend. Yes she’s a girl but he’s not her type. He says he doesn’t talk to her anymore but I’ve seen their texts about me. He also told me he didn’t know how to use Snapchat but had it on his phone then deleted it and I saw a text of him saying how hot this girl was after she sent him a pic of her naked. He downloaded Snapchat just for her. He always says I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and been with but I don’t really believe him anymore

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  • I'm single.

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  • I'm single, but I'd keep secrets from him

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  • Not really, no

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  • Nope. I have a guilty conscience.

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  • Yes, I would.
    I like to keep something to myself. That's the point of them called secret.

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  • I just don't believe everything is his business.

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  • Sorry, touch the wrong one. No.

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  • I know he has an affair and I never told him I knew. That would be the only secret. He doesn’t love me anymore so I guess it doesn’t even matter

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    • What are you waiting for? Find a better man.

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    • I moved across the country to live with him and can’t afford to move out just yet, so I’m staying until I have enough financial stability to move out and hopefully go back home. We both know it’s over anyway, it just took me longer to figure it out

    • I was in that position as well.. living in Midwest where he was only person I knew (I'm from Cali) and he would bring girls over or leave with them etc. Don't lose sight of the goal. You will be much happier without him.

  • I keep secrets from everyone.

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What Guys Said 43

  • Fuck no, she hears everything. If she asks me she will get a straight answer. Im generally like that though.
    Probably why folks think Im an asshole.
    Hey Mark, whats up?
    Couldn't say, don't want to talk to you today, Im grumpy. Better if you leave me alone.
    Asshole!

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  • Trust it's the most important aspect of a healthy relationship and it can only be had when both are honest with each other. If you care enough about the other person you won't put yourself in a position to feel guilty about anything you do when you're not together.

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  • Yeah, don't tell them EVERYTHING. Never pass up the opportunity to just STFU. :)
    Mostly it's the girls that do this, they think that everything that pops into their little head needs to be verbalized. We call it diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain.

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  • If your in a relationship that means anything, secrets can be damaging, better to be open and honest. Better than lies though. Lies will be the death of it.

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  • Yes. Extracurricular fun has to be kept secret, or you most likely get dumped. My boring prude ex-GF couldn't be told that, on the side, I was getting what she wasn't giving. I eventually got so fed up with her, for so many things, that I told her off, and she now hates me. Oh, well.

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  • l am an open kind of guy and l would never tell lies or keep secrets from my girl thats just not the right way to go about things when you are in love with a very nice girl why would someone want to tell lies and have secrets if you want to have that girl in your life for ever you have to be very honest and open l love girls girls are fantastic xxxx

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  • I keep other people's secrets.

    If someone tells me something and asks me to keep it to myself, that includes not telling my partner.

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    • You know what is more fun? Keep peoples secrets twist it and then tell that to people who would like to hear it

  • I usually like to keep secrets even among my friends. If I were to get into relationships, I’d still keep secrets from my partner.

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  • I’m single. I’m sure I would if I had one, but very few. I like being open and honest, but my self doubt and dislike that causes my shyness will have me wanting to keep some things to myself even from her.

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  • You can't trust anyone in this reality. Some things are better left mysteries. As for me, I cannot completely trust to my girlfriend, especially the ex. :)

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    • I’m with you there on not completely trusting my boyfriend

  • I can't think of any and I don't feel the need as such however if I have promised someone not to tell a thing I would keep it a secret as promised - telling her she cannot be told and ask her to leave the subject alone.

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  • I generally so unless she out of the blue asks me. Now i don't lie or keep the kind of secrets most think about. Just things about my past that i don't think would do any good or anything at all If she knew lol.

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  • aside from secrets that involve surprises or something like that no i don't really keep secrets. no real need to

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  • Yes their was and is things in my past that it may take some time for me to trust them enough to tell them about my past. Things I have seen or done that I do not talk about openly.

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  • Depends on the situation, its always good to keep your signifacnt other upto speed with everything of concequence, while there are certain matters i would rather not bother her with.

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  • Does not telling the person you love "I love you" count as a secret?

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  • Nah, I wouldn't want her hiding anything from me so why would I hide anything from her?

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  • My job involves multiple NDAs and confidentiality agreements.

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  • Everyone needs a private life.
    Depends if it affects or benefits her or not.

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  • I didn't tell her that we are in a relationship, for example.

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  • Yes, but only little things. I think it's healthy keeping some independence not all must be public

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  • Perhaps it's important to have a small part of life just for you. Good luck 😀

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  • Personally, I think that you should be somewhat open.

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  • Im single ready to bitch about it

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    • Skaffa en ny crush

    • Finns ingen jag tycker är attraktiv som inte har en pojkvän, såklart kan fortfarande ha ett crush men vafan ingen idé om dem har pojkvän redan

    • Jo bust a nut to her pics on insta and send a pic to her of the aftermath

  • She isn't black-pilled... yet. So I must.

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  • If I had a partner, I would not keep a secret

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  • I keep secrets from everyone. Also I'm single.

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  • Not yet...

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  • Not at all... Always keep it 💯 whatever it maybe

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  • I'm sorry but I'm not gay

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