‘I don’t want a relationship right now = I don’t want a relationship with you’ true or false?

A common reason you might here someone say when they reject you. Do you think it really means that they don’t want a relationship with you?
  • True
    Vote A
  • False
    Vote B
  • It depends (please say)
    Vote C
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Updates:
Also may imply that they’d only date if it was the ‘right’ person

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Most Helpful Girls

  • True. It means I don't want a relationship with YOU. I tend to say that to guys to let them down easy... I want a relationship but not with them.

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  • Depends, because when someone say I don't want a relationship now, they may really mean it due to various reasons (e. g. still suffering from heartbreak from a bad relationship in the past), i. e. it doesn't matter how great the other person may be, the answer is still no, I don't want to be with anyone.

    in the other circumstance if someone says "I don't want a relationship" as meaning "yea, not with you", it's a softer way of rejection the person, rather than saying "sorry, I don't feel the same for you".

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Basically, "I don't want a relationship right now..." is one of the most incorrectly, overused statements out there alongside "rape!".

    It murks the waters that shouldn't be dirtied because that's where the people drink from.

    Most of the people use this statement because they want to sugarcoat their "nos" when they should be upfront. Especially women. They sugarcoat most of their confrontations and assertiveness, which is bad because men are upfront (usually. I'm not). If you tell a guy "not now" he thinks "not now" instead of "I don't want to be with you". That's where lots of women get an obnoxiously persistent man on their ass until a restraining order is called.

    If you tell that to a guy like me who is open minded and ambiguous, I would have no god damn clue how to respond to "not now". My usual assumption would be "They don't like me" as it's now meant, which if the other person didn't meant it that way and instead at face value, then it would be an unnecessary loss on their side (losing me) just because of the new socially constructed definition of words and phrases.

    INB4 someone calls me part of the MGTOW community, I am not.

    TL;DR: "I don’t want a relationship right now" is an indirect "yes". People these days use it to say "no". Don't say "yes" when you mean "no" so people don't get upset and the world unnecessarily burns on fire.

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  • That is a tricky question because I think it’s true, that many people don’t want to be in a relationship, because relationships can be taxing and distracting and require compromises which, at times, are more than you can handle due to something in your life you are trying to accomplish... so I believe people think and feel it is true.
    On the other hand, I think it is also true that most of all those people would love to be in a relationship so long as they felt an emotional need to be in one, regardless of their circumstances and not all people require the same in a relationship, so their could be a perfect match that presents itself they didn’t realize was possible

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 43

  • Depends but i'd say a good 90% its true.

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  • No, not always.

    Sometimes people use that as the excuse to break off with someone because they think it is a nicer reason than saying that they just went into them.

    But sometimes, people do not want a relationship - they just want casual. it is possible and so the statement is true sometimes.

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  • I think it depends on the situation I think. Like yes maybe some people are not brave enough to actually say that in your face (although honesty is always appreciated in serious topics), but I think some people really just don't want a relationship at a time when they say they don't want one. For instance I rather have a girlfriend when I quit school and not now even if I would be in love with someone.

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  • Well if they say they don't want a relationship right now, this sentence includes all people in the world, including you too. So in a sense it's always true. However how the person means it depends on the situation and on them. Honestly, I don't get why someone would use that for rejection, since it still gives hope to the person, that after some time you'll want a relationship and they can simply wait til then.

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  • I think that it probably can, but I think there's a lot of room for error. Not everyone is in a place to want to be dating at every point in their lives. You just don't know.

    It's kind of stupid to make the assumption that they're just rejecting *you* specifically. It would be even stupider to push and to try to make them tell you why they don't want to date you or to get shitty when they're dating someone who isn't you.

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  • I use to say that and my reasoning behind it was because I was too busy, which I was. Working full time plus college full time is a lot on a early 20s woman. But a good friend once told me that "Any time spent being happy is not wasted time."
    So it really does depend on the situation, but if it's the right person you'll know.

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  • It's going to vary from the circumstance at the time or the person. There are times where people simple don't want a relationshop right then and there. Other times, it's because they don't want to hurt the other's person feelings so they say that.

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  • Considering I haven't dated anyone at all in my lifetime... I'm going to have to say "it depends."
    Is it true that people use it as an excuse because they don't want to date a specific person? Yes
    But some people are telling to the truth.

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  • I say it depends on the situation, because it can sometimes mean that, but sometimes it can mean that they are scared to go into one, or that they are really goal oriented. Theirs a lot of ways to think of this.

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  • Good question. I went through the same thing with a guy I like 1 yr ago. He told me "I dont want a relationship only to be friends" he told me. But I never figure it out what he meant by that phrase if it was aimed to me exactly or in general. What do u think?

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  • There’s a guy I know for a year and we’ve been through a lot long story but I’ve wanted to date him and he said he wants to but rn it wudnt be good he was in a 3 year relationship and ended bad and doesn’t want relationship Rn that’s not on his mind he wants to focus on himself and still talks to me sends me selfies flirts

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    • So I don't know 😂😅

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    • Well get some cats 😂 no seriously don't say that i'm pretty sure you will find someone :) if i even got a girl there's still hope for you xD

    • by the way still don't know how i got her 😂😂😂

  • It’s usually true. But sometimes, depending on the person and situation, it really does mean they don’t want a relationship right at that moment. I can honestly say I’ve used that line and meant it. If I meant it as I don’t want a relationship with you then I’d normally just say no.

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  • Yes, I’ve experienced that first hand too. A guy told me “I don’t want a relationship rn,” we stopped talking, and two months later he had a girlfriend.

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    • Two months later? Does not apply. If he had a girlfriend the next day, or maybe even the next week, okay. But 2 months is plenty of time to sort things out if your life isn't a total mess.

  • For me is true. I'd say I don't want a relationship right now to a person is because I don't think the person is the right person and therefore the moment is not right for me.
    When the right one comes that'll be the moment I'll want a relationship.

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  • For some people this might be true. However, there are also people out there that're genuinely not interested in having a relationship (at that moment) & it's got nothing to do with that person in particular.

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  • I said that to a guy I like because I am actually under pressure of school and studies.

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  • True, its what pieces of shits say when they can't find the words to say it

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  • For me, it actually means exactly that. But it is not true for many others...

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  • It's mostly true. But could also mean they're not ready to commit to one person.

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  • I honestly think it depends on the person. Lately I’ve been rejecting everyone because I know I don’t have the time to keep up with a relationship. That’s just cruel to the other person involved.

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What Guys Said 43

  • Depends, I'd say it's true on most occasions.

    However, right now with me... Even if I wanted one, I can't have a relationship right now, working, studying, gym and so on.. I just don't have the time & money to invest for that potential relationship.

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  • I would say for the most part it's true. Maybe not personally but true nonetheless. When someone says that yet still wants to be in your life best thing you could do is just be a good friend without expectations are pressure towards Romance. Just being yourself and there as a friend can bring on a realization and appreciation of you. Just don't smother or Act crazy.

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    • Nah! Friend zone is for schmucks.

    • Yeah you're right. I'm just trying to be optimistic but there is always friends with benefits Zone

  • Most of the time it's true. Reasons alongside that are:

    I don't want to rush into things.

    I'm not ready for a relationship yet.

    Let's take it easy.

    I do like you but I need some time.

    I'm sorry that I can't be what you need me to be.

    It's not you, it's me.

    I'm speaking of experience after having been put into the fwb/F*ckbuddy zone numerous times.

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  • If I were to say that then I'd mean it. I'm pretty cold hearted and would have no problem to say that I don't want a relationship with a specific person.

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    • It's not cold-hearted to be honest.

    • It sure isn't. I actually respect stuff like that a lot more!

    • Oh, I don't mean that that one's cold hearted. I mean: "I'm cold hearted and therefore not a [redacted for political correctness] who can't say what he thinks".

  • I'm sure it's true with most people, BUT, sometimes there is other reasons. It is literally subjective to speculate in general as to why this line is given during a rejection, so I'd have to say... it is what it is wugga, move on to the next one.

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  • It doesn't matter why someone says this. At the moment, they aren't interested in a relationship with you. If you are asking a lot of women and none of them are interested in a relationship with you, then it's time to rethink your approach.

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  • For a majority of the time yes it is the nicer way of saying no. But even then a person may be so busy in life where they don't want to ruin a potential relationship or save that chance for later when they sort things out.

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  • Having been on the receiving end recently, I took it as being the end of the relationship. Whether it was meant that way i don't know, but not going to hang around finding out.

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  • I would never say one to mean the other. I just can't figure out why parents aren't teaching their kids to not lie, or why kids aren't listening to their parents. Honesty is always the best policy. Everything else is rubbish.

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    • What if they are a good friend and have suicidal tendencies?

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    • Sorry you did say "never" i don't know what the fuck I was reading

    • I do work in hyperbole for dramatic effect, sometimes. But it's usually much grander than a single absolute.

  • I remember being friends with a girl a long time ago that said that same thing to a guy, and she went on and on about how she just wasn't ready blah blah. About maybe 1 week later she had got some crush on a guy and went into a relationship with him. Soooo In my opinion that's true

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  • I said that to a girl because I was falling in love with her and she was absolutely fucking crazy.. I would have lost everything if we stayed together.. and years later I still feel like it would have been worth it

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  • the guys i know say that if they have another girl who theyre interested in so they kind of hold you if that fails

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  • I love the guy has to decipher it when the girl can just say what she means. But I guess that's they're right "we should be able to say things that mean clsomething else if you listen to it literally". Fuck that shit man

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  • MOST Of THE TIME they are saying that as an excuse but there are some people who are not ready. Maybe they are too busy with their life or something like that.

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  • What I read when I see this is : please fuck me but don't fall in love.

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  • It depends. If a girl says “now” she means “with you” but guys are actually honest when they say things

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  • Depends on how much I care about you and how much I think the personal rejection would hurt you. If the answer to both is a lot then I'd probably lie. If one of them isn't then I'd just tell the truth and mean what I say.

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  • There's exceptions but, personally I think sex and love define people so much its just a way of letting you down.

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  • Some people are just too traumatized to fall in love anymore. Maybe you might be able to crack that person and teach that person's heart how to fall in love again.

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  • It depends. It can mean that they simply don't want that type of relationship with anyone at that time, it's not necessarily you or the person in question who they won't date.

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