Why don't women show interest more often?

I've always wondered why women don't show interest more often. I know when I was younger, I totally missed the queues, but now it's a rare occasion to notice a girl check me out. I've missed ample opportunities with women because they never showed interest, or made clear that they were interested. I've gotten the "look you up and down" look a few times with that look of "damn you fine" (unfortunately it's usually when I'm with the person I'm seeing) Casual flirting is nice and all, but that tends to be how taken people act as well. Friendliness and flirting are almost the same. I know a lot of women like being chased, but for many people, if we don't know you like us like that, we won't chase you.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Don't take my friendliness as flirting... That's a problem.. I can't be nice to a guy without him thinking I want to jump on his dick? LOL no wonder women nowadays don't show that much interest with that kind of assumption. I'd only show as much interest as you show me.

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    • It's a problem because not many girls show interest. Fortunately I know the difference now, but before I had no idea. I was very nieve.

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    • @MLGbreezy Most women today are not lesbian you stupid ass clown.

    • Old_Geez I said a lot of women are turning lesbian idiot and its more seen around my generation anyway so fuck off

  • When women don't show direct intrest todwards men as often because they get slut shamed by others in society. Women have been told that if the guy doesn't make the 1st move he's not attracted to you. Therefore most women refrain from making the first physical move. Although if you pay attention some women do send signals. Such as flirtatious staring, smile from a distance with purposeful eye contact, flurtatious hair flip, sholder/fore arm/leg touch while laughing or saying "you're so funny" (etc.) The list just goes on.

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    • I know for me, when I’m not interested, I do not show anything. Because I’m not interested. But when I am interested in a guy, it will be OBVIOUS. At least, to most people it is, I think it’s a matter of having to notice more, because I know for a fact (I’ve read it online) that women show signs quite subtly most of the time, it’s rare that you’d find a chick like me that actually just goes up and says “hey hi, I’ve been checking you out and you’re hot”

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    • I'll dm/pm you the websites bc it won't let me post it.

      See, It's a normal thing. If you don't take that as flirting well thats your own problem. My dude, in this situation, you have made yourself your own worst enemy. You are standing in your own way. It's not women's fault that you can't take a hint or observe obvious signals.

    • Oh says I have to follow you. Nvm then. Lol, guess your on your own.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You're passively blaming women for not showing interest in you as a reason why you missed oportunities? What was stopping you from going and meeting them or other women yourself? Nobody owes you anything in life. If you want something go and get it yourself and you'll feel 10x better for being in control of your life.

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    • On the contrary. I do meet women myself, it would just be easier if they showed a little more interest. I've always been curious why they don't bother showing more interest even though I'm more or less know the reasons. I'm more less interested in hearing what people have to say and what their thoughts are.

    • Well whilst it's nice seeing signs a girl like you, if you look for signs that someone likes you, you'll waste time and not just approach other girls assuming she's already attracted. That's when you'll have respect from the girl cause you came up to her of your own accord rather than reacting to her.

    • Again, I do approach girls. It would just be nice to see signs instead of playing it by ear.

  • Because they aren't required too.
    Men have been raised to believe we need to "win women over"
    Women have been raised to expect men to do the chasing.

    Therefore women are like a firewall getting constant attempts to access the server... they only allow in what they want and swat away all other attempts. There is no real effort or work required on their part.

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    • Lol! Love the refference.
      Unfortunately I know the practical reasons behind it. I'm hoping my question gets them to think about and try to show a little bit more. Every little bit helps. :)

    • I totally agree.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 22

  • Because almost all girls were taught since we were little that doing that was wrong and it was the "guy's job" to show interest. Which is ridiculously dumb if you ask me.

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  • Girls tend to show interest indirectly (physical contact-like touching your arm), asking you questions (beyond the friendly conversations), and the eyes will normally reveal too.

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    • Most of girls do that. They aren’t brave enough to show the love for some one also mean girls use that option to get something they want but all girls have one goal

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    • Okay. The girls I've dated have never touched me in the beginning. Hugs only came much later. So I guess these two examples are more physical contact and warmth than I received from the girls I dated.

      I'd believe that some girls are more touchy than others. The girls I dated were not into physical touch at all, with anyone, and were rather shy girls. While I like touch, it seems like every girl I fall in love with doesn't.

    • @Canuck37 I wished I could help you out more. I only know how I flirt and show interest and my ways aren't used by each and every girl. I try to leave the guess work out of it (I don't like games and i like things simple as possible)

  • I think that many younger girls may show more queues and as they get older and have had more experiences, they don't as much. This might be because they've gone through heart break and are extra careful or just that they're picky with their guys. Often women don't show their interest because they're not willing to take risks at that time. Also, friendliness and flirting are not the same. If someone likes you or wants to flirt, they will make it obvious.

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  • We have all Gotten Way Wise Beyond our Years with many Kinds of Wise Guys. It's a shame though, Joe, Good Guys like Yourselves who are Gents to Gems like me Here, dear, Have to Suffer with those Suckers.:((xx

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  • it's less about enjoying being chased and more about knowing that the guy is serious and not just wanting sex

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    • Make a guy wait a few dates into it. If he's not serious, he will bail.

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    • when i say decent men i mean not the men who hit on women on the street everyday. these men have a bad reputation.

    • I figured we had similar views on a decent man.
      Dating is hard and a pain in the ass. I don't get out a lot because I have a son. The only women I meet are married, or random girls ten years younger than me at a convenience store. (not. knocking the age or the job. Just sharing how. fee people I meet.)

  • Because women don't like to be the chaser they like to be chased also maybe they don't want the guy to get too full of himself?

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    • I like to be chased too =p
      Actually recently I chase very little because as you said (many) women get full of themselves/play hard to get, make problems out of nothing and in general seem spoilt children, so lately i prefer letting those more interested and serious (grown up?) to let me know ;p

    • FS92IT you god damn right actually

  • How do you think women should show interest to actually work on men?

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    • It's a tough question. That's part of the reason I posted this.
      It took me over a year and a half to realize a girl at the gas station down the street from my work had interest in me. Never went past high, goodbye, and maybe the occasional joke from me until I made an off hand crack about her being pretty, or that I'd date her. (of course I didn't show the interest until I was) once she realized I was interested, it got past the casual friendly/flirty self I always am.
      Come to find out, she's always been a bit attracted to me, but all I ever got were sort of hints. Nothing concrete.
      To save time, if she would have asked me about personal things, that may have helped. Of course I wasn't terribly interested at first, so I may not have noticed. Asking me to hang out, or out on a date definitely would have gotten my attention. Offering me advice on personal things, giving me her number... all would have helped.

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    • Yes it is. It's almost always a lose lose scenario. Stupid social awkwardness!
      Wanna go out? ;)

  • maybe most of the women around you are married or in a relationship. And if that's not the case I think that as women get older we try a little less to grab men's attention or let them know we are attracted to them.

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  • Afraid of rejection; society has told us to be chased not be the chaser.

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    • Yep, exactly right.

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    • That's just a bullshit excuse that women hide behind.

    • Yeah and most people act like herd animals. It takes "movements" for people to change. They need the support of the herd 🐑🐑

  • Because society 'says' it's a no no and that men have to do it

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  • Because they're not into you? I've never stared a guy up and down, even the ones I liked. I tend to go up to them, introduce myself and talk to them/ask them straight up if they'd be interested in me.

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  • I find that when I’m friendly to guys, they tend to think that I like them as more than friends. Therefore, I try to show less interest so I don’t lead anyone on by accident. I’m trying to show more interest in guys that I want to be more than friends with, but other than that I’m going to limit my friendliness so I don’t have to go on mercy dates or say no to guys when they ask me out. I really hate saying no to people but I also hate leading someone on. Especially when I know it’s not going to go anywhere. So I’m trying not to lead them on.

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  • Because we are "a slut" or "desperate" if we actually show we are interested..

    or. Because we've been rejected at one point or we fear it.

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  • they do, it's just that the hints are reaaally subtle

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    • Yep and can easily be mistaken as just being friendly

    • Exactly. Sometimes the line between friendly and flirty is blurred

  • Because men think agressive women are sluts

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    • Agressive women are a turn on. Weak women who need things done for them they can easily do for themselves is a turnoff and a bad example for your gender. (in my opinion)

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    • Also, if the woman shows at least some direction interested, (not just shy looking, smiling, or polite conversation) I know I would personally be more likely to ask them out. It really does help.

    • Men do not think agressive women are sluts, and I am someone who is quick to call a women a slut.

  • Coz man think them as whore.

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  • Fear of rejection

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  • guys will call u a desperate slut

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    • Is that why you don't show more interest? Because I find it sexy, and a nice change. I would rather go out with a girl that's more forthcoming, than one that's more withdrawn and quiet.
      Not that you would want me anyway.

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    • You're cute and that makes me interested enough to want to get to know you.

    • Honestly, why the fuck would a women be considered a slut for chasing a man?

  • How are you

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  • If we do, you guys think we're whores. If we show interest and you don't find us attractive then you guys look down on us.

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    • Guys will certainley not consider you a whore if you show interest, who the hell told you they would?

  • Because the guys never showed interest in me. I showed interest in multiple times in guys and they never liked me, so I officially quit in that department lol.

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  • we only show interest to attractive guys

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What Guys Said 26

  • 1) They think it's the guy's job to do it
    2) They get plenty of attention from guys already and don't need to take the initiative
    3) They don't want to appear "desperate" or "cheap"
    4) Unsure of how a guy will react
    5) Have done it before and it didn't work out
    6) Don't want to catch a guy by surprise

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  • I know what you are referring to, don't worry lol. Yes, also (some) women in relationship do those thing while looking at/talking to me, I can't prove it of course, it is just my experience. What I meant is that some women think that men don't go after them because they are not interested, but when I go out there are many girls who show those "signs" and of course I have to choose, but that doesn't mean that I don't like the others.
    That's where being very clear, like Bonnie_D17 "hi I like you" or even just staring into the eyes, or saying hi, would make a lot of difference in who I choose.
    Also men, contrary to what women think, care about more than looks, and also appreciate a confident girl. (with all the due exceptions of old style men ofc)
    Finally, men are slut shamed too, they are just called with different names: players, pigs, perverts, losers, desperate or creeps in some cases, it's just that they don't give a fuc* about it, or have to do it anyway because otherwise they would get nothing..

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  • In today's society it's my opinion that a man showing interest is often taken wrong. Leading to sexual harassment or unwanted attention. At least for me, I'm clueless as to when a girl is interested or wants me to approach her, so it's difficult to make that decision

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  • They do all the time. Just in different ways. Especially since for most women the nature of their romantic interactions is being pursued by the man, rather than vice versa.

    I'd say more often girls show it indirectly or will do things that strongly imply, without saying it outright. Usually the situation has to be right for girls to be more direct about it.

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  • Because girls aren’t as horny as men. I mean look at the amount of opinions on any girl’s question or how many followers an average girl would get just because men got that horny hormone running inside their veins lmao 😂

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  • I'm so sorry I can't hold it ! So you didn't get in the queues when you were younger? Did you barge through to the front ignoring the rest of the people in the queue? That's quite rude. Hopefully you've changed that :P

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  • This is a good guestion.
    Might be a good point to add a follow up: Why when one does, it's usually something really subtle like just a hint? Like a game.

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  • They show plenty of interest in me, but they do in a very subtle indirect way.

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  • You suppose to show it first and if she responds to it then you hunt them down.

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  • Because she is dating multiple men so she's confused,
    its better to avoid such women

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  • That's not true at all. But I will say this... the moment you open your eyes more and stop chasing , will be the moment you'll be surprised

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  • Women's options aren't limited as much by being entirely passive. They're also not conditioned to accept rejection the way men are. So even if you're a catch, she has to know you're interested as well, and know that she has no better options, and know that you aren't exploring other options before she'll even consider taking that risk. Then she still may not for lack of experience or confidence, or any number of the same reasons she might otherwise reject you if you make the first move. I keep reading that things are changing in this regard, but I haven't seen any surveys or studies that suggest this is anything more than rhetoric. There are still guys out there that don't appreciate assertive women, oddly enough. There's also an absurd amount of slut shaming going on still, so even naturally bolder women are inherently risking something that few men do by making the first move.

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  • they're the ones in demand until well into middle wage why take the risk

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  • They do, through subtle body language. You just need to learn how to read it.

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  • Nohh i am not... i came to this app seekong for a hookup partner..

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  • It's just societal bs. It'll probably have changed in a few decades.

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  • They do, but just to men they find sexy

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  • Women want equality then want men to chase them

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  • Because it doesn't end up well.

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  • They show interest all the time

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  • It's too much work

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  • They do. In other women

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  • They always want guys to approach them first🖖

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    • They don't always. And a lot. of them do use that as a power play to get what they want. They want the control, but want you to approach first.

  • Girls do but its always in an annoying indirect way. Like looking at you for 1 second and hoping you'll get the hint.

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  • Women guard their ego and feminine energy more carefully than men guard their masculine energy. Notice how a lot of guys tell women they think they are beautiful, or compliment them? notice how few, if any women do the same to men? they are guarding their ego and keeping hold of their ''power''.

    However, I'm very similar. I don't do compliments, and I don't validate. Irony has it that women have complimented me on my physique, hair cut, and personality. They also ask me if I find them attractive or whether I like them etc.

    This occurs because I am more careful with my energy than a lot of guys are, so this they are not used to this... so this makes them question their own feminine powers...

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  • It's a combination of equal parts entitlement and cowardice.

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