Should I put myself on the line?

There's this guy who I was seeing for a few weeks in the summer and we really hit it off. We spent a lot of time together (almost on a daily basis) and I felt a really deep connection between us. And the emotional and physical chemistry was nothing like I've ever experienced before.

We suddenly stopped seeing each other because of some issues:

I was having problems at home

I found out he was seeing another girl while seeing me

He was also having issues at home

We've had some contact via texting, we bump into each other a lot and small talk, and had one attempt at a date (which fell through) since all of those issues unfolded. I'm leaving home to go to school in a week and I really want to see him before I go. I'm just not sure if I should put myself out there and try to make a date with him. I feel like we need to talk it out and clear up a lot of stuff and I don't want to leave with all of this unsettled.

And if I do end up seeing him should I be honest with him and tell him how I feel? I'm just terrified that I'm going to scare him off. But I also think I lost him before because I really felt something, but was scared to tell him and I think he might have misunderstood my intentions and thought it was only a fling. I think I was playing "the game" a bit too much (stupid, stupid me).

Guys: Would you prefer a girl to be really upfront and honest with how she feels about you (even if its totally after-the-fact)? Would that make you consider the benefits of being with her/make you want to give her another go? Or totally scare you off and make you run the other way?


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What Guys Said 1

  • The truth is always the best option since it keeps you from having to maintain false images, lies and deceit, which is much harder than processing the pain of any potential disappointments. If he doesn't show, you know he is not able/willing to invest. If he does show, pay attention to his non-verbal communications to see if he is thinking/feeling before he responds, or if he is just keeping it superficial. For me, if a woman I was interested in didn't bring up an issue, I would be disappointed and question her desire to have a healthy relationship.


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