Does being the single friend bother you?

Does being the single friend bother you?
I'm the single friend. I've always been the single friend and I don't know how to fix it. I don't get how so many women find relationships so easy and I usually have to wait years in between finding a guy who wants to date me. Like they get in relationship back to back and eventually get married but I ask a guy on a date and I'm always friend zoned.

Does it bother anyone else that they're the single friend? I'm 28 and haven't figured out how to get a date. I feel pathetic.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It bothers me all the time, it makes me feel depressed and lonely and jealous and envious.

    I'm in the same boat, I'm gonna be 26 later this year, and I've been single for 7 years, since my first and so far only relationship ended. I've learned how to talk better to girls, I just don't know where to meet them, or at least the nice ones (I don't wanna have to go to a bar or club cuz that's not me scene).

    It's not fair that you've been constantly rejected, but it might mean you have some things about yourself you may need to work. And you are not pathetic, and if other guys don't see the potential you have, that's their problem, not you.

    And if I could, I would gladly take you on a date, buy some dinner, and give you a good time.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It bothers me so much. I’m 23, but in religious circles, it’s common to be married or considering marriage by now. I’ve never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. My family thinks it’s weird. My friends, all in healthy and fulfilling relationships, tell me I’ll eventually find someone. It sucks. It makes me feel inadequate. People say I’m pretty and friendly, but I’m alone. It’s not something you should take personally, but it happens. It’s hard to handle when you’re lonely. You don’t have someone who puts you first, so you have to learn how to be self sufficient without becoming closed off and bitter.

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    • I can feel ya girl

    • Show All
    • Oh awesome, I enjoy baking too, what's your speciality? Maybe try a book club? Then you can meet people there.

    • Cake. But I’m lazy, so I just buy it. I’ve thought about book clubs, but the problem is most people my age leave my hometown. It’s unusual for someone my age so not have a kid or two by now. I honestly think tinder is my best bet when I get serious about love.

  • I have been single for 5 years, it bothers me every now and again being the only single gal for a long time. But i am happy with my life and im not gonna date just to date. Some womem just have to jump from 1 lap to another but i personally csnnot do that. Dont worry about it will happen for you.

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What Guys Said 64

  • I'm not really "the single friend" for that matter, but I'm in a friendgroup of which everyone is single except two of them (the group is 10 people total, including me) but the thing is, those two are in a relationship together. I am happy for them (heck I was helping them get together because I wanted to be the best friend I could be, and it turned out fantastic) but it does suck when you can get other people together, but you haven't had a single girlfriend in your life yourself. I'm that type of guy who can give great advice on meeting someone, but can't meet someone himself. As for the rest of the group, they're all single (reflecting back, I just realized one more has a relationship outside of the group. But didn't know that till yesterday, so sort of forgot). But what is most annoying is the fact there is one of the girls who kinda acts all lovey dovey around all of the groups guys, she doesn't actually like them, its just her personality (plus I don't actually like her as more than a friend so thats not the issue) but it does suck to have someone care about you on more than a friend level, knowing it isn't actual love, and its something you crave for, but can't ever seem to get.

    Sorry for the essay but I tend to go into much detail, anyhow, thats just how I feel about all of it.

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  • Your description of yourself is the same as MILLIONS of men and women in modern society. The "rules" of dating have changed so much, and people have become very selfish, lazy, and angry in today's society... so anyone with a true, loyal, kind, genuine heart finds love difficult, if not impossible.

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  • Been there but not that old yet. I actually had a few talks with my coupled friends and they don't care they are just happy to be hanging out with a good friend. Though being the 3rd wheel is tough mentally after a while.

    I wish I knew how some poeple get so many dates yet I get one or two bad ones a year only.

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  • Treat it like being really hungry. You open the fridge, don't see anything you like and close the door. Lower your standards, open the door and try again. That's what you do when you just want a relationship. If you want better quality take the time to work on yourself, you won't find people as easily, but you'll find better quality people when you do.

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  • All of my friends are dating. It's awkward for me as they'll always be flirting or be too busy to hang out. Scheduling group meetups, even with their girlfriends coming is difficult as well.

    No luck finding one here, not ever been in a serious relationship before.

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  • I don't, but I think girls experience this differently from men in general, because of the biological clock. I know a lot of 26-32 year old women who feel a level of stress from being single for too long. Even if guys are regularly hitting on them and they're going out. The fact they're not currently in a happy relationship, with a good guy starts to get to them.

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  • I use to be like that years ago and I would always qualify myself as a friend zone (I would miss out on opportunities with attractive women). What I did to get out of that is learning how to communicate in a smooth complementary way with confidence. Confidence is everything and for a woman, add that with having class and being a little sexy plus talk little bit more because men usually seek women.

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  • Aaah dont feel pathetic because you dont date every week. It’s most important you keep on being yourself regardless how many dates you’re getting. The right person will come for you too. Visit places you like, go out to places you like with these friends? Or travel? This way you find more people and thus there’s a bigger chance of finding someone. And if you’re desperate there’s always tinder or something 🤦🏼‍♂️. Good luck and please don’t underestimate yourself!

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  • I have a friend who is the single friend. She seems to content herself with living through others' lives, which I couldn't do, but it seems to work for her. She's got well over 1K Facebook friends.

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  • It used to, but then I got older and wiser once I understood that relationships are overrated; that most people are in them for the wrong reasons; and most will fail because of that and expecting others to make them happy.

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  • Yeah it really bothers me. I was hanging out with a group of friends the other day and then their gfs showed up randomly. Suddenly I was the 7th wheel just on my phone. But I'm the same way, I haven't dated or even had a crush on anyone for 2 years. I'm on dating apps but 0 results.

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    • HAve you tied from gag or Facebook? I was lucky to get another guy from Facebook since I fed up boys at college. Now that I am in relationships. Guys just want to talk to me and scaring at me.

  • I don't have any friends to be bothered by the fact that I'm the single one. Not that it would bother me, one negative experience with dating was more than enough to ruin dating and relationships for me.

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  • My thoughts on this is that you you need to be happy with yourself first, then in time your beau will cross paths with you.

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  • I wonder this with some if my friends too I'm like how do you manage this? They say go talk to em I try but no luck. Being the single friend I get a little jealous but I think to myself what can I learn from this mf

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  • I'm usually the single friend, if not one of them. It does actually bother me a bit, yeah. But only because a serious relationship is what I really want. I'm 29, and I'm very monogamous. When I'm in a relationship, I give it my all. So, when I see my friends who have what I want, sure, it makes me jealous. Naturally. I'm always happy for my friends in relationships, but I think it's perfectly understandable to wish you could have that, too.

    But it also bothers me for another reason. I'm a very affectionate person, and this really isn't the most affectionate society. Especially New York, where I am. My affection has been misread more than once as a romantic advance. I've lost my best friend of 14 years due to such a misunderstanding. So, it's that negative association to losing my friend that also bothers me about being the single friend.

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  • Being "the single friend" doesn't necessarily bother me, but I'm kind of in the same boat with being single. It's incredibly frustrating I know, but the only thing to do is keep pressing on.

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  • I totally get what you're saying im always single and feel unwanted by the opposite sex. I've been trying so hard but keep getting rejected and its so frustrating so were in the same boat i guess

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  • Yes, it does bother me a lot.

    My best friend is in a relationship and also has a 6 month old baby boy, and my friend is 6 months younger than me, feels weird cause we both grew up together and went to the same school and lived in the same area.

    But I've never even been in a relationship, I've never been on a date, I got rejected by each girl I have ever asked, I've lost count on how many girls I've ask to go on a date, and I've never even kissed a girl, and I'm still a virgin at 20.

    So being single make me feels just as depressed as I already am as it is, I go therapy as well for my mental health, I've been going since I was 16.

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  • It does a bit because I always wonder what I should and shouldn't do. What I should and shouldn't look at and incase he gets angry if I talk to his girlfriend at all

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What Girls Said 39

  • Haha I’m the single friend. It never bothers me, I just think it’s cause I’m hard to approach. Just talk to more guys and eventually they’ll ask you out. That’s what I did 😁
    But the right person will find you, you don’t have to look for them, enjoy life.

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  • it bothered me only sometimes in the context of group gatherings. while my girlfriends used to only hang out by ourselves, now that some of them are married or in a relationship, husbands/boyfriends and babies started coming into the picture. so in a way, we don't talk the same way now 'cause the other people are there, we have to limit conversational topics to smt family-friendly and can't gossip about those husbands/bfs haha

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  • I have been the singel friend throughout my life. I so used to it, honestly that it doesn't even bother me nowadays.
    Yeah, I'll have to agree, it feels bad at some point... You know, you want all the love and attention too. But well, I believe things will happen eventually and only when it should.

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  • Totally get you... my girlfriends are always into relationships back to back too.. but i think the truth is that they just can’t stand to be single! Which is why they finding someone so quickly. I think it’s good to just not hang around them all the time and focus on yourself to not let it get to you, and maybe you’ll find someone at the right time

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  • It didn't really but I also wasn't incredibly invested in trying to find an S/O and I'd never been interested in anyone. I imagine on worse days it could feel like salt in the wound if you're looking for somebody but I honestly was fine, I usually liked my friends and sister's s/os (except for one but we pretend he didn't happen)

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  • Been there done that. Pretty much always single until I was older than you. Nothing like being that third wheel. Don’t know what to tell you other than things can change in a heartbeat for no apparent reason.

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  • Yeah it does. My friends think I'm too picky, but I'm afraid of men more than I let on. I don't know how to fix it. Generally, I'm fine with being single but it sucks when you're third wheeling and no one notices you because they all come in pairs.

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  • When I was younger I was always the datelessly single friend and I didn't like it. Maybe if I became the single friend now my experience would be more positive.

    My suggestion is to find a place you feel confident (as in an activity) and hang out there.

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  • No, I am not the one who is crying and saying guys are the worst in 5 to 6 months I am just the one agreeing with feelings of detachment.

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  • More now than ever because I want a family. All My friends are married or in long term relationships and have kids. We're not young anymore. My biological clock is blaring and their relationships are constant reminders.

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  • Sometimes it bothers me especially when my friends told me about many many guys hitting on her. Or when she feels obligate to give me some gifts or chocolate from her admirers when it comes to valentine because i got none.

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  • Yeah I’m the single friend as well, but i might know a few of the reasons, my friends do so well at finding partners and i just blatantly suck at it i guess.

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  • I’m always the single friend. It’s bothers me sometimes, but I’m more career oriented right now and if someone comes along through the process, great.

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  • It didn't bother me, because my close friends still found time to see me or invited me to hang out with them.

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  • Take that time to work on yourself, your goals, who u aspire to be in life, that is what I do when I'm single I still go out and flirt and talk to people but I'm not searching for anyone, I take that time to build my confidence to love myself fully bc before anyone else can love me I need to love myself first. I need to know who I am first so no one else can sway me, and usually you will be so caught up in yourself (in a none selfish way loving yourself and caring about yourself is not selfish) that a man might walk by and like this confident self loving you, you never know! but it isn't bad being single or the "single friend"

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  • It’s a bit annoying cuz all my friends are like we’re gonna find you a guy and I’m like I don’t need a guy just cuz you have one

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  • Nope because I know because I have guy friends who want to date me like three I think and I could become in a relationship in one text.

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  • Out of all my friends only one is taken, other 2 are on and off and others are single.

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  • Yesssss ! Gets so annoying constantly third wheeling and having to listen to them gloat about how great their s/o is.

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  • Enjoy being single , I'm not in your position but i think both sides have their pros and cons

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