He grabbed my butt right away, is that a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Okay don't laugh at me I know this sounds silly but what would you think about this. I was on the third date with this guy and he still hadn't kissed me from shyness or something so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I planted one on him and suddenly he was squeezing my booty like there was no tomorrow. Isn't that kind of disrespectful? I think most nice guys wouldn't touch my butt until we had kissed a few times and moved on to making out on the couch or something.

[parogen]

I recently touched a girl's butt. I gave her a peck on the third date and fourth we were isolated near a river and was making out and made a grab at it. She instantly got my hands off it like either she was embarrassed or she didn't like it, I don't know. We're kind of into each other though, and that's the first time we started making out.

My reasoning was that since we were making out and I thought the location was relatively non public (11pm and cold out and no one around), that I can also grab her butt since we're caressing already. My hands are behind her back, not much different to go lower and get a feel in. I don't think making a move should be considered disrespectful, then every 'move' would be disrespect for trying to push boundaries. That was what I was feeling, it's just like communicating in a way. Going too far would be (if I reach for sexual functions like breasts or down there in public it's really weird to me). I didn't go for a second grab, so I guess if he resists to your decisions then you would have cause for concern.

I imagine that I was saying "hey, can i get a little frisky here?" and she said "let's not". From my read she is a little shy though, so you should also communicate. Maybe you're asking the question, is he much more into me by making this move, or should i try to enjoy this? Either way it's a communication barrier because maybe you don't want to say how you feel or you want to control him/the pace.

[Little-Hippie]

I think you're asking the wrong questions here.

Did you or did you not enjoy the physical aspect of what he did.

Obviously, you're questioning the principals of why he did what he did, but in terms of what you did to spur it, I would infer that in his mind, kissing him first was your way of telling him that he was moving too slowly.

So he probably thought that by taking things that much further, he was meeting you half way.

Whether or not it was appropriate for the span of time you two had been seeing one another is irrelevant if you actually liked it.

[babsbunny]

Lol, that's really weird. It does seem disrespectful right after a first kiss. I would've been weirded out too. I'd move his hand away or say something about it so he doesn't keep going and get the wrong idea.