How much texting with a girl you meet?

My 3-year relationship ended and, while maybe I was in the stone ages back then, I don't recall much texting prior to my last relationship. Now, I meet girls and they want to text all the time. I'll try to call them, I'll leave a voicemail, and they'll text me later saying something like "sorry I missed your call" and go right back to texting. I've met up with a good majority of the girls I text with like this, but it feels like I'm just making her feel good like a "friend" rather than getting any closer to an actual date. I want to be respectful but not waste time with people who aren't interested.

Am I reading too much into it? How long and how often should I text before I should take a hint? I don't want to call repeatedly, leave messages, and only get texts back. When it the line drawn, or am I too sensitive?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm 22 and I really prefer texting at first because it takes the pressure off and I can think about what I want to say. I get nervous on the phone. However, when a guy does call, I am impressed, because I think, "What a man." Usually the guys that only text me are the younger ones and the ones who call are late twenties or early thirties, so I think it's a dying skill. It's sad that we no longer have to get up the guts to call someone, but at the same time, I sometimes don't want to pick up when a guy calls, and feel more comfortable texting him back. Still, I've known a guy a couple weeks and we've been out a couple times and he hasn't called me, I start to think, "Hmm I don't know about this." My advice as someone who has done quite a bit of dating is this: Texting at first, saying "what's up?" etc, and suggest you two go do something (don't CALL it a date, though, call it hanging out). Then if it goes well, call the next time around, which tells her that you're interested and taking it seriously. I think if she feels the same way, she'll overcome her jitters and answer the phone.

    • I agree. I guess in a sad way, I'm a bit happy it's a dying skill. For girls, it helps sort out the socially awkward vs. the confident men, and for men it gives those of us who can string a sentence together a leg up. But I like your line that it says "what a man" and appreciate the advice. I'd love to call, I just don't want to always play the voicemail trap.

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you like the girl, then you should text more often because girls love to txt. why not text her and ask her to meet up for lunch. I am sure she will love it. then you can tell her that you rather call her to listen to her voice than only txt. she will appreciate you.

    • OK, thx. I just turned 26 but when I think of asking a girl out via text I feel like I'm 13.

    • You are welcome. so call her to ask her out. she may be waiting for your call.

  • Honestly for me, when I first meet a guy, talking via text is just a little easier for me until I get to know him better. I think it's a little less awkward especially when the two of you might not have that much to talk about right away. I'd say just give it time with the texting because I'm sure a lot of girls feel the same as I do. Eventually once you get to know each other better, it'll be easier for both of you to just pick up the phone and call.


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