I'm not always attracted to him, but I like him a lot. What should I do?

A close male friend likes me, and I know that. I kind of like him, and he knows that too. I haven't ever dated before, and neither has he. I really want to be with him, because I really trust him and I care about him, and I do like him. The problem is that there are times when I'm just not attracted to him at all. I like him a lot one moment, and the next I see him only as a friend. I think I like him more often than I don't but I worry it isn't enough. Does that mean I don't like him enough to date him, or does it just mean I'm scared of dating him because I've never done it before? Would it be cruel to date him?

By the way: I've told him that we'll just be close friends until I figure out what's going on, and he's okay with that.

I want both guys and girls to help me with this one.


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What Girls Said 1

  • That's a tough one because I think you are scared of the unknown. Like you said, neither of you have dated before. I don't think it would be cruel to date him because you care about him. When you say sometimes you aren't attracted to him, do you mean physically?

    • I do mean that I'm not attracted to him physically, but I also mean that there are times when I only see him as a friend and thinking about him as more than a friend feels weird. I'll have feelings for him, and then all of a sudden it's gross to imagine our relationship becoming anything more than platonic. Sometimes I just don't like the idea of going out with him.

    • I think that you like him but don't want to. I'm in the same situation right now. You have nothing to lose by dating him. Just go for it.