Should I use tinder? No social life and want a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I’m 21 and currently studying Astrophysics at University. I have been non social for about 5 years now and never really had friends because I suffered an eating disorder so literally stayed home all day/night.

I now have my life together and enjoying my studies but can’t help but want love. I have never had a boyfriend and have never really cared for one because I’ve loved my own company (still do). I want some excitement and to love someone as silly as it sounds.

The thing is I have no friends at uni but study peers. It’s not that I’m an outcast, I’m funny and I dress well and think well at least a little that I’m attractive but I have I love to do my own things.

So I’m a bit confused because I don’t know How to meet guys. I’m considering tinder but I feel a little ashamed to use it.

Should I try it? Any tips? Have you found love through tinder?

thanks a lot

[GingerGuy]

Well there's nothing to be ashamed of going there. Go ahead. However don't have high expectations. Don't expect to find the love of your life on there. While it's possible, it's not likely. Don't take it too seriously. It'll be like finding a needle in a hay stack. But it certainly doesn't hurt to try. Just use common sense, as you would any way when you meet someone.

[Anonymous]

It’s more of a hook up site in your age group, I’m still considering using it since I have nothing else going on

[Asker]

That’s how I feel, I have nothing going on so kind of have to resort to online dating

[Opinion Owner]

Give it a try and see , all the sites have more guys than girls so it’s easy for you but not good for me, it’s a sausage fest on there

[1truekhaleesi]

I used tinder for a day but deleted it because people aren't kidding when they say it's a hookup site. There's lots of online dating sites. There's bumble, eHarmony, Badoo, OkCupid, etc. I am pretty shy and I like that online dating got me into the dating world

[Genie23]

My friends told me it's a hookup site. I don't think creating an account on tinder is a good idea if you're looking for something serious. Only 1 out of 1000 guys will be interested in dating and stuff.

Maybe try another apps?

[Silent_Jester]

I don't think in India it's used for hookups tho it is boring! And what other apps?

[Genie23]

@Silent_Jester It is some of my guy (Indian) friends used it for hookups.

I don't know. Something like OkCupid or Bumble?
I think it will be better if she tries to be Social though. Meet people at university. Because many people on any dating sites are only interested in one thing. Tinder is by far the worst if anyone wants to date, have a long term relationship.

[Silent_Jester]

Ok Cupid is boring and I don't think bumble is in India.

[Genie23]

The asker isn't living in India.

[Silent_Jester]

Nice point but are you sure?😏

[Genie23]

Yeah

[Silent_Jester]

How?😂

[Freakles87]

I wouldn’t choose tinder unless the only relationship you want is a one night relationship with a naked person.

Try okcupid x

[Pamina]

Sure, you ca give it a try. If you don't like it you can just delete it again.

[WalterRadio]

Tinder is not the right place. You aren't a slut and you are not looking for a fboy.

Try match, eharmony, or its just lunch.

You might also study this to see if there are other sites you might want to try. I know some good ones that are not listed here, but it is a place to start.
http://www.giveyourhandabreak.com/education/

[CottenBrick]

My art teacher from college met her boyfriend through tinder. she's been going out with him for about 3 years now.

I've met him, he's a bit strange but not a fuckboy and perfect for her.

She only had 1 other relationship before that because when she was a young teenager she was sexually assaulted and so she was to scared of anyone being intimate.

Tinder is what you make it to be. I know people who've used it to find friends. I know others who have used it for relationships and I also know those who use it for hookups.

I even know a few people who've hired the people they matched with through tinder.

[WalterRadio]

@CottenBrick
If you through a tennis ball at a concrete wall fast enough and often enough, it will eventually go through the wall and neither the wall nor the ball will be damaged.

Don't hold your breath.

[CottenBrick]

That analogy can't be compared to meeting people. there's way more variables than just throwing a ball. Its all about the people involved.

I can't imagine she's gonna be very slutty, if she wants to find someone she likes, she should be herself. Those she matches with will pick up on her personality traits and will react accordingly. Especially when they meet her. Also the guys she is probably attracted to are also going to be more reserved.

Anyway she might want to go for loads of hookups just for practice and to build up confidence.

[WalterRadio]

@CottenBrick
You missed the point.

Sure, low probability events happen (the tennis ball & wall has to do with quantum mechanics, where if you had a big enough computer, you could calculate the infinitesimally small chance of it). But one should play where the odds are in one's favor.

If 98% of guys on tinder are looking for a hookup, it is going to be a lot of wasted effort to find the guys who aren't and who one might be interested in.

[CottenBrick]

I vaguely understand the concept and heard the analogy before. But it still doesn't work.

Human nature isn't set in stone. It is incredibly malleable and is always changing to fit the environment.

There are extroverts who use tinder just for hookups, but a lot of extroverts tend to look at the people around them for hookups.

There are loads of people these days using it just for shits n giggles which lead no where.

Then there are introverts who pretend to be extroverts. Maybe because they just broke up and need a rebound. Or because theyre so scared to be themself they pretend to be a big cool person who does all these insane things.

And finally there are introverts who play themselves.

Now everyone is shy deep down. Everyone is nervous. That's why the rules are never set in stone.

[Anziegee]

Don't use tinder, no point in trying for short-lived relationships. Best advice i can give you is to put yourself out there. Try joining group activities available in your area. The last thing you'd want is to get your heart broken from meeting someone at online dating apps

[Jason_Storm84]

From what i've seen around me with people using tinded, you'll probably end up with more D*** pick than anything else. Try dating website maybe, going out to a bar, try a new hobby sometimes you could meet someone who share the same interest. You're still young, you will one day find love... but don't use tinder if you don't want one nights

[DualityGreen]

You can use Tinder, just be prepared and on guard for most of the guys just wanting to hookup.

I use Tinder to find both relationship material and hookups.

Try Bumble as well. You can set swiping whether you're looking for friends or dating or networking and will match with people looking for the same.

[CottenBrick]

This guy knows what's up

[AmtgardJean]

Tinder is more of a hookup app. It can lead to more but most people I know who use it use it for short term things. At University just try and talk to people who are into the same things you are. Find some clubs. I know a lot of lasting relationships that started that way.

[CoolioJulio1]

I found my current girlfriend through Tinder. We've been dating for 2 years now and it's been fantastic. You will likely have to dig through the flak though. I didn't strike gold until I stopped caring about the turn out and just took a "come what may" approach.

[ElvenMr]

Yes, try it, but prepare that most men are there for hookups only, but there are guys who are like you and looking for something more serious.
Hook up boys will give up soon if you don't sleep with them in like 1-2 weeks after matching.
Maybe ask them outright, what is it that they are going for.

[Drumlin2001]

Tinder is more of a hook up app. If all you want is to meet people causally, with an outside chance of something more then it's fine. Otherwise, if your adter a relationship, there are better dating apps to use

[jaidee]

Any dating app/website will get you flooded with solicitations from guys. Maybe okcupid is better suited for relationship while tinder is more geared towards hookup.

[CottenBrick]

she's looking for a place to meet men who would be interested in her. Having plenty of options on a place like tinder would be good for someone new to the game.

[Welshman2]

Go out and meet people instead of hiding behind a computer or phone screen. You will gain confidence, meet new people and enjoy yourself.

There's no substitute for meeting people in real life

[Alameen]

Well I guess I would say use online dating and texting but use it to set up meetings. I feel u should try and get as much contact with other people as possible so like hit up a club go flirt with some people.

[HalloIchBinFlo]

It's a start but I think you'll meet way to many guys who are just horny. If you want to find someone you genuinely like, try connecting to people who maybe have the same hobby, even if only via internet.

[chadmeme]

It's a Fuck buddy app, just start going to uni bars

[CottenBrick]

I dont know where she lives, but where I live, it can be hard to mingle with strangers in public places like pubs. Its usually considered weird if your trying to talk to people you dont know.

It could work if she brought a friend along and was really good at conversation though

[SarahsSummer]

I honestly think you’d be better off attempting to meet new people at UNI.

[Chaoseverywhere]

Try the other ones like zoosk. Because it matches you based on your personality. Tinder might be too casual for a relationship.

[1nittol3arn]

Study less one day. Convince some of your study pals to go out. You're 21. Go to a bar and let loose a little. Try a little social life and be safe. 🙂

[Aroso]

I am 25 and facing the same problem. I have used all social networking site to no avail. But since you are a woman you might find it easier to find someone on tinder.

[fruityroshan]

Please NO... JUST MAKE FRIENDS... BE SOCIAL... ENGAGE IN SOCIAL POLITICAL TALKS... doesn't HAVE TO BE CLASMATES... NO TINDER OR ONLINE CRAP.. please NO

[sergirock]

Tinder is more for casual relationships and one night stands. But of course it could be a solution.
If you want more friends you can dm me and start a conversation :)

[NovissimumVirorum]

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