How do you cope with being single?

Let me explain, so if you just get out of a relationship, whether you did the breaking up or not, and it's been a few months and you kinda start to feel lonely, how do you deal with that? I'll find myself bored one day and go on Tinder, OkCupid, and other apps and just start talking away? I've been dating someone for a while but I want to end it soon, and I don't want to end up doing the same thing.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • just make yourself busy in REAL LIFE. What i do to keep myself from feeling lonely is i work full time, go to the gym everyday. have class on religion i always wanted to take on wednesdays, go to party or other social gatherings on the weekends. i end up meeting tons of people and its nice, plus im always way to busy to feel lonely anyway. Its also a way to make me tired so at night i sleep right away instead of being up all night overthinking or missing someone. Id say the dating apps are just an unnecessary trap to make you feel lonely again

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    • Wow you hit the nail on the head 😂

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    • So I paroozed your insta and your a good lookin guy! Keep taking care of yourself and put yourself out there! Seriously tho great smile!!!

    • Thank you!! Ya I'll keep doing my best.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi.

    Here is my take on being single for a long time after being in relationships.

    First I'd ask yourself what does a relationship mean to you. Do you need one to be you?

    Hopefully the answer is no. You can be you and enjoy life without feeling it needs validation from a relationship.

    If you are feeling lonely well that is ok. Anyone who says they aren't lonely after a while of no longer being in a relationship is more than likely telling pork pies because who wants to be seen as lonely? Well I say its ok.

    If you are finding yourself going on Tinder etc it is also fine. You want to find that connection again and get some meaning to going about the day to day life. Its not the most healthy way of dealing with being single but fresh out of a relationship its part of the process many have been in before.

    So, how do you get around all this. You kind of don't. You find ways to not care about being single. You find interests that you feel enrich your life, you do things you can't normally do in a relationship, you turn into some sort of mentalist walking about the house singing at the cheese for entertainment or just veg out most nights. Crying in the shower, getting angry at the t. v going to garden centers and staring at the fish, essentially random dumb stuff for fun. Eventually politics, getting mad at dabbing and other things that remind you of how old you are getting.

    I focused on my educations and work. I threw myself into them and got to a point where when I say to my friends " I'm going to die alone " I don't actually think it, because I have learnt something pretty overriding to any plan I make.

    I have no idea what or who is around the corner.

    Not to sound like a giant hippie but, you just take each day as they come have a goal in mind to achieve and try to enjoy the little things.

    People pop in and out of your life as you go and some stick around long enough to figure out if there is a future there. If they feel the same way then boom you'll be on cloud 9 in no time. If not then you'll always have those little silver lining that make life worth living alone and you won't feel so empty.

    At least that's my take on things. Hope it helps in some way. :)

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    • Hey I appreciate the advice, that's a good way to look at it, I've always been told never to rush into anything and never search or beg for it, if it happens, you'll know, I don't know if I can say I get bored or lonely or if I'm just looking for someone to talk to and it ends up being someone, I'll have to look back on this later on and let it sink in more

    • Sounds a considered approach. Perhaps a focus on social activities near you would benefit you more too. :)

    • Yeah I've picked up a few more hobbies that can keep me occupied

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 24

  • I coupe just fine.
    I am also in a similar situation.
    Feeling lonely is normal but just go hang out with your friends. Entertainment yourself and stay busy.
    If you happens to find some potential girl on the app that you interested just be friend with them and date them but keep it at a friendship before you feel like you wanna be with this person. Just hang out and have fun!

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    • Yeah I do have friends I can hang out with and keep me company, I always just miss having that one person who's always there, I usually go on the apps and just chat, never looking for anything, and any time I find someone who seems chill and it just never works out

  • Being single isn't a bad thing at all. I also just got out of a long relationship and I have to admit that the loneliness hits you hard in the beginning. But soon enough to begin to realize that being single is the best thing you can do for yourself. You learn how to love yourself all over again & to focus on the things that bring you happiness. If I'm being completely honest, sometimes being in a relationship feels good for the wrong reasons. For example, I used to like my boyfriend because he showed me attention, interest, and was fun to talk to. But the truth is that I liked him for what he did, not for who he was. Sometimes people confuse infatuation with love and they somehow convince themselves that a relationship is perfect even though it's not. Enjoy your time being single and don't dive into the dating world immediately afterwards. I personally like mending myself completely before entering into a new relationship :) Love yourself first and foremost :) Sounds selfish in the beginning but it actually works wonders on your mental and physical health ;)

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  • Being single for me currently is just because I’m focused on finishing high school and i believe it’ll be better to pursue a partner when I’m in college and on my own. However I’m not completely against having one now, I do miss having a relationship sometime but i just cope by telling myself I’ll get a partner in the future, and if not then I’ll just get like 80 cats or something haha.

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  • I get bored of my single life too sometimes. I started hanging out more with my friend and her boyfriend that just moved to my city recently. And since I’m done college I am focusing on getting a job and getting better at things that will get me that job

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  • Go out with friends, work on myself love myself, that's usually it I don't see flirting is a bad thing

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    • Flirting is definitely nice, I do certainly love myself which is why I want what's best for me, I should definitely get out more and do more fun stuff when single

  • You are already on the dating apps when you are still with someone else, just try to be songle first otherwise it would not be fare to yourself or the other person don't be in a realtionship becoz you don't want to be lonely but becoz you love or need or want the other person it will make the relation more meaningful and happy.
    Just make yourself busy see your friends and family work out, trips with your friends night outs like if you search well there is so much you can do

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  • Do NEW things. I explored my forgotten hobbies. I'm back to practicing guitar and I spend more time outdoors. I'm actually going to a concert next weekend by myself. Gonna be a blast!

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    • Another female priviledge. The ability to go to pubs n concerts alone and not be thought a rapist loser.

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    • I've been round many countries travelling alone. I see the difference and have experienced the difference between going out with myself with others and with girls. The difference for a man is massive. We are thought of as losers with no smv. Girls sit at the bar and get chatted up. I've talked up girls who have been interested then they ask where are your friends. Once they find out you are alone they change their attitude. Some countries are okay for men but most you are fucked as a loner. You do not understand, you are prized meat by birthright, I am nothing unless I do wonders.

    • @Saoirse1122 You are basically letting others influence how much of a good time you have. Instead of seeking others approval, just have a good time irregardless. When I went to my last concert alone, my goal was to just see the band. So I did, and it was wonderful. I wasn't looking to find Mr. Right. Same thing go for pubs/club. I go for the fun and atmosphere, not to leave with someone. I know, before I leave the house, that I'll have a good time irregardless.

      Also, I'm not prized meat lol. If your goal at the end of the night is to find someone, then maybe you should stop looking at bars.

  • There‘s nothing wrong being single. Just pick up your old hobbies, chill out with old friends, and that there is a lot more thing to do

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    • There is for men in the long run. They want women but they are untouchable and can nkt get them. Women are fed media telling them to be single to boost the economy. They do not know what singledom is like. They are married to harems online and the state. Simple.

  • I don't get it you're dating someone but what to end it soon yet you don't want to be lonely? And what do you mean you "dont want to end up doing the same thing"?

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    • I actually did break up last night finally, I just wasn't happy in the relationship, I'd rather be lonely for a bit and have my options open than be unhappy with the same person forever, and I rush into dating apps just talking to whoever else will talk to me and I end up getting someone else who's just as desperate for someone as I am and it's just a vicious cycle, it's not that I want to be single forever, I just want to find the right person for me

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    • So much for asking for advice.

    • Well that's based on advice that was also given in this question that other people mentioned lol

  • Being single is not good for your status and reputation in society. You help a woman also not to be alone. But what to do when we are alone?
    Perhaps it helps to know that after you are bored with everything this change after a while. You learn to be self-depended and to know your self before you have a relationship also. A person is not meant to be alone. People who have a partner have also protection and are stronger in life. Also, it is easier for a man going outside to seek a woman then for a woman to seek a man, at least if you want to do it all proper.

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    • Women are never alone. Never. Only alone from the overly inflated standards which they feel entitled too because of their pussy. End of.

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    • @Saoirse1122 Yeah ok. But it is not about that. You know, we have to watch out for everything in life literally because there is something behind everything. Just pray be for everything you do so you will never be deceived.

    • I agree with you, society expects women to just exist and the man should make the first approach, while I don't necessarily agree with this because a lot of good men are too shy to make an approach, also I disagree with @saoirse1122 saying women are never alone, you feel like women always get attention and stuff I assume? Attention is one thing, but if you don't have any close friends you can talk to, it can really make you feel alone, men are expected to be strong and not show emotion, and if you think on it, women are under the same pressure to an extent

  • Hangout with friends and maybe know your self first, just like what others say, love yourself first..

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  • Try to do your hobbies, don't let yourself to be alone and doing nothing. Probably thats a good way

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  • you just enjoy it.

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    • Yea enjoy going out with freinds and watching them go back home with their partners after. Enjoy listen to people complain about sex and relationships but your have nothing to add. Enjoy being an outcast.

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    • Sexist low life is wht u call em.

    • The whole of western culture in modern times. Misandry and man hatrid and glorification of pussy through adverts n movies while simaltaneously perpetuating the false narrative of their victimhood.

  • Why do you need to cope with t when there’s nothing wrong with it

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  • Movies, music, gym, vibrators lol

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  • I cry at night

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  • I have no trouble coping.

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  • Engage more time in doing things I love.

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  • Go out more and do things u love

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  • I think about the freedom I have

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What Guys Said 52

  • Dude the benefits of being single is great. You get to screw who you want, saving money, and freedom. Many others but those are my favorite so far. Many other reasons but having a relationship isn't'the main thing in life. Some people end up cheating or get bored anyway. Enjoy life, there are plenty of women for you to do the same things with as being in a relationship.

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  • How do I cope?
    Pornography, karate, a lot of time working, five rescue cats 😻 and two rescue dogs 🐶.
    When that is not enough, I think about how women have treated me and hurt me.
    Then I think about the enormous legal and financial danger that women, as a collective, have chosen to become.

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  • By spending time figuring out how to be happy on my own, uprooting the unhealthy paradigm that says I need a relationship to be happy, and sometimes masturbating.

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  • First of, if you're in an unhappy relationship you should never string the other person along, you need to break it off as soon as you can...
    Being single can be fun... If you find yourself bored, all you need to do is hand out with other single friends of yours. You'll see that you can relate a lot more to your single friends when you are single as well...

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  • It's difficult, because sometimes I think I want a relationship and sometimes I realize I just hate the feeling of loneliness. So I overthink, "Do I really want a relationship?" And it's just a weird balancing game haha

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  • It's easy being out of a relationship. You can truly be yourself and be independent with your choices without compromise. Try only to want someone, not need.

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  • Do you know exactly why you want a relationship? Is it because you're bored? If it's for this reason and for also having some attention from a woman, maybe it's the reason it doesn't work for now with others.

    Knowing yourself is actually good to see more of what you want in life and with which kind of woman you'll be more in "fusion" with. We're so complex, us humans, that even knowing ourselves is a challenge of a lifetime, but it's a great one!

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  • Get your shot together be happy with yourself. before you get in a relationship then it's. not bad to get out of one. How can you expect to be happy together if you can't be happy alone. I want to share my happiness with someone else not make my happiness someone else's responsibility

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  • Completely suicidal 70% of the time. You should stay in a relationship and twotime until you find another. Bring single leads you into a downward spiral if left long enough to the grave. Unreturnable as your state of emotion becomes so strung out that you invest all your energy trying to control your emotions you become socially inept. Women will bully you eventually for not getting frequent sex and you will join the 75% of the men who kill themselves.

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  • Lately I've tried learning to like myself. I go out... and quietly sit at the bar, listening to music while I read a book. If I can't enjoy my own company, I can't expect anybody else to.

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  • When I struggle I try to remind myself that I'll get there eventually. You may be lonely but perhaps you're not yet ready to settle into a relationship and that's perfectly fine. Listen to your own needs, just be careful you don't mess others around.

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  • You need a hobby, one that gets you out and hanging out with friends. Don't be a buzz kill to your self stay off line, learn to be more comfortable in your own skin and be social. Good luck

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  • I have always prefered to be alone still do i made a bunch of money and travled the u. s. working and playing. Been married 7yr now and really still prefer to be alone
    Just an f. y. i. all u people SUCK

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  • I just do my things, my chi kung training, playing games, talking to friends, watching movies, sometimes watching porn, no big deal.

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  • I enjoy my time alone because I use it to focus on myself 100% before I get back to dating hell most of the time I'm home either writing playing games or listening to music which I do while writing and simply clearing my head from everything

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  • Have some time for yourself, I'd stay out of the dating game for awhile.
    Take a moment to try new things, like learning to play a new instrument or starting a new hobby.

    Keeping your mind occupied is the best coping mechanism.

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  • Hang out with friends, go back to doing your favorite hobby. Keeping distracted is the best way for me to deal. When I'm alone and doing nothing is when i dwell on the negative thoughts.

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  • Give yourself time to figure out what you want in a relationship and just work on yourself and be happy

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  • I've been single till date and I've been regretting it but most importantly i always tell myself that with time I'm gonna get everything so I'll be focusing on my career for now.

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  • I just masturbate, play games watch youtube. Pretty much anything that will make me a little less lonely for a while. Or pick up some hobby's like working out or playing an instrument

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