- If there are too many of them yesVote A
- If there are any awkward silences yes.Vote B
- Depends how much i really like the personVote C
- No awkward silences are not a dealbreaker for meVote D
- It depends (please explain)Vote E
Most Helpful Girls
For me it defenitly is. I fall for personality, so I need to know about the other person to see if our personalities match.
Awkward silences usually mean that the two people involved don't know what to say to eachother. Which indicates that those two people probably don't really match. If they would, they'd probably be able to talk about anything and still have fun. It would be easy. For me it's a great sign that someone is a good match if we can talk really easily. I remember talking about chairs to someone, it was the most stupid subject to talk about ever, but I had a lot of fun because we shared to same sense of humor. When people are nervous, they come up with the strangest things to talk about haha. On the other hand I also dated a guy who could only talk about Call of duty. I'm into gaming, but not CoD. We couldn't find anything else we had in common, so it didn't work. Never saw him again, no regrets.
If you don't talk at all, you'll probably never get to know the other person. And that's crucial in the beginning. You want to discover if you'd want to see him/her again, and you can only do that if you get to know about what makes the other person tick. So it's only normal to not want to see eachother again if you can't find anything to talk about -read: finding things you have in common, discovering that you have the same sense of humor, discovering that your minds work in a similar way etc. etc.
If it's nerves I have to say I'd probably wouldn't want to see someone again either, because I'm usually attracted to talkative people who don't really mind to show that they're a tad crazy (like the guy who talked about chairs) :) if they can't lose their nerves during the first half of a date, I'm probably dealing with someone who's very insecure, and for me that's a turn-off.
However I know I lot of people who don't mind insecurity and even think it's adorable and are attracted by it. If that's the case then I'd say this: if you think (s) he's worth a second date, then go for a second date and see if you can both find something to talk about. If not, then no hard feelings and say goodbye. Better to have tried, then to keep asking yourself what if.1
Depends on why they happen. There have been times when something unexpected or slightly embarassing happens and then the silence breaks with us genuinely laughing it off.
But sometimes that silence is caused by a guy crossing a line of some sort and waiting for me to validate it. If the awkwardness is because the guy is too oblivious to obvious boundaries, then yeah that's a no go for me.2
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Most Helpful Guy
First dates can suck. You don’t know each other, and you’re both acutely aware of that fact. You can’t just give your life story unbidden, and you can’t ask an endless stream of questions without making it a painful interrogation. So as you consider what you can say, there’s silence, and it’s awkward.
That’s why I like to lead with a fifth date instead of a first. We can make up date memories and facts about each other and pretend to know each other better until it feels comfortable.1