Are awkward silences a deal breaker for you?

when dating Are awkward silences a deal breaker for you?

  • If there are too many of them yes
    Vote A
  • If there are any awkward silences yes.
    Vote B
  • Depends how much i really like the person
    Vote C
  • No awkward silences are not a dealbreaker for me
    Vote D
  • It depends (please explain)
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girls

  • For me it defenitly is. I fall for personality, so I need to know about the other person to see if our personalities match.

    Awkward silences usually mean that the two people involved don't know what to say to eachother. Which indicates that those two people probably don't really match. If they would, they'd probably be able to talk about anything and still have fun. It would be easy. For me it's a great sign that someone is a good match if we can talk really easily. I remember talking about chairs to someone, it was the most stupid subject to talk about ever, but I had a lot of fun because we shared to same sense of humor. When people are nervous, they come up with the strangest things to talk about haha. On the other hand I also dated a guy who could only talk about Call of duty. I'm into gaming, but not CoD. We couldn't find anything else we had in common, so it didn't work. Never saw him again, no regrets.

    If you don't talk at all, you'll probably never get to know the other person. And that's crucial in the beginning. You want to discover if you'd want to see him/her again, and you can only do that if you get to know about what makes the other person tick. So it's only normal to not want to see eachother again if you can't find anything to talk about -read: finding things you have in common, discovering that you have the same sense of humor, discovering that your minds work in a similar way etc. etc.

    If it's nerves I have to say I'd probably wouldn't want to see someone again either, because I'm usually attracted to talkative people who don't really mind to show that they're a tad crazy (like the guy who talked about chairs) :) if they can't lose their nerves during the first half of a date, I'm probably dealing with someone who's very insecure, and for me that's a turn-off.

    However I know I lot of people who don't mind insecurity and even think it's adorable and are attracted by it. If that's the case then I'd say this: if you think (s) he's worth a second date, then go for a second date and see if you can both find something to talk about. If not, then no hard feelings and say goodbye. Better to have tried, then to keep asking yourself what if.

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    • So just one or two awkward silences and its over for you?

    • No... I didn't say that. It's not about the awkward silences, it's about finding a match. Awkward silences usually are a symptom of a bad match. I would never walk out on a date half-way, but at the end of the date - where two people usually decide whether they want to see eachother again - I'd probably say no if it took a whole lot of effort to keep the conversation going and to simply have fun. Having fun shouldn't require a lot of effort in my opinion.

  • Depends on why they happen. There have been times when something unexpected or slightly embarassing happens and then the silence breaks with us genuinely laughing it off.

    But sometimes that silence is caused by a guy crossing a line of some sort and waiting for me to validate it. If the awkwardness is because the guy is too oblivious to obvious boundaries, then yeah that's a no go for me.

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    • What if the awkward silence is caused by you?

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    • no im asking what if it wasn't his fault an awkward silence occurred?

    • If its not his fault then how could it be a potential "deal breaker"?

Most Helpful Guy

  • First dates can suck. You don’t know each other, and you’re both acutely aware of that fact. You can’t just give your life story unbidden, and you can’t ask an endless stream of questions without making it a painful interrogation. So as you consider what you can say, there’s silence, and it’s awkward.
    That’s why I like to lead with a fifth date instead of a first. We can make up date memories and facts about each other and pretend to know each other better until it feels comfortable.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 31

  • I havnt met anyone where there hasn’t been a moment with awkward silence. What’s worse is that I don’t know what to do in these moments so I usually break out in laughter so no reason at all
    And it’s not a dealbreaker for me

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  • Yup. Silences are not a problem, awkward silences are.

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    • So if even one happens, dealbreaker?

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    • This is starting to bore me, so I'm going to end the conversation.
      However, I would strongly advise you to look up the meanings of these:
      'reading between the lines'
      'sarcasm'
      'introspection'
      'hysteria'.
      Now bye and thanks for entertaining me.

    • Wait... she hasn't been domineering or gaslighting in anyway in any of these replies😂

  • Silence isn’t awkward to me. It’s a time to be able to just let things si k in whether it be a question that was just asked, how you are feeling in that moment...

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  • Awkward silences are a part of getting to know someone... maybe they're trying to think of the rig ht things to say to you. I definitely wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. I'm socially awkward myself so awkward silences are kinda just part of the deal with me. ;)

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  • It's ok with me, of course I haven't dated in 13 years lol
    But sometimes you just don't know what to say or don't have much to say.

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  • I'm ok with silence & it depends on who I'm with, but the other party will ask 'what's wrong?' most of the time. Haha. Actually I'm too comfortable with the person.

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  • I can remember that some awkward silences led to intimate eye contacts.

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  • Having a moment that silence comes to announce the first kiss - this is not awkard. If we feel uncomfortable around someone with no common ground then this is the basic red flag for breaking the deal.

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  • We should be able to eventually be comfortable enough with each other to carry on a decent conversation so yeah.

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  • If there’s a lot of them then that’s a good indicator of a lack of compatibility. Conversation should flow easily.

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  • I’m so awkward so it’s inevitable when beginning to date someone new because you don’t know where the line is and don’t want to cross it lmao

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  • A few silent moments can be romantic but a lot of them shows you are needing to be with a more compatible person!

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  • Not a deal breaker at all. Sometimes i use silence to enjoy being in the moment.

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  • Not really... I mean if he can't help keep a conversation it's going to annoy me because I'm already terrible at keep conversations and I don't talk much.

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  • i dont get awkward with silence. its actually nice to have silence. i dont like a chatter box

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  • I’m never silent. I can talk and talk and talk. Lol Nope not a deal breaker for me.

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  • I hope not because I'm the cause of those awkward silences most times.

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  • Drpemfs on long the silence lasts. But within limit its normal.

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  • Never had that problem. If something feels weird I will say it.

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  • I hope not. I'm really bad at making awkward silences lol.

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  • I HATE awkward silence 😬

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    • So yes it is a deal breaker?

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    • It’s not totally, I’m just meant that I generally try to make conversation, it would just be annoying if the other person just gave 1 worded answers repeatedly or something.

    • That's literally what girls do, give 1 word answers and expect guys to give them Shakespeare

  • It’s only awkward if you make it awkward

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  • I talk too much... 😂

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  • No it's fine for me

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  • It happens sometimes

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  • Silence isn't awkward to me

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  • lel no thats guaranteed with me

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  • If there are too many of them yes

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  • *inserts unbareably awkward comment here*

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  • Nope

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What Guys Said 34

  • Its all about the timing. If you just finished a crazy topic on a good note and can't come up with anything extra to say, its awkward and silent, sure. But its not a deal breaker at that point.

    If i just met the person and asked basic questions and they dont ask much back and its awkwardly silent, im out lol

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  • It depends on the person... Like, my ex and I sometimes wouldn't have anything to talk about but that was fine with me because all we cared about was just being next to each other... But if it was someone I didn't know very well or on a blind date then I guess I would wait for a while to see if it gets better because sometimes it takes a while before you can get comfortable with a person but if it stays the same after a while, then yeah, I would say itts a deal breaker for me...

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  • You can decide for yourself if you find a pause in a conversation awkward or not. I use the silence to think about what was said to continue the conversation based on that. I have rarely encountered moments where the silence was awkward.

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  • It actually helps me a lot when talking to someone so I can figure out if a specific topic is uncomfortable for them and to steer away from it for a bit. And maybe bounce back and talk about it again when they are more comfortable with talking to me

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  • I love silence. If a woman feels a need to talk just to kill the silence, that is a deal breaker.

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  • Being able to enjoy a moment of a silence with your partner, is one of the highest signs of compatibility in my opinion

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  • Why would i go in a second date with someone i can’t find something to speak with.

    It’s annoyingly irritating

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  • Everyone can be awkward at any point in time. I guess it depends on what happened that led up to the silence

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  • If there are too many yeah, girl I dated would never talk to me in person and always had her friends around but blew my phone up

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  • awkward silence is ALWAYS the males fault, real men never let it come to that. If the girl feels awkward it's the guy's fault

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  • They're by far the worst part of a date D:
    They're not a deal breaker but they only make things worse

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    • If it was a comfortable silence then it'd be the complete opposite

  • ya most girls who this, they just say 'hi' and nothing they expect me to carry on the conversation soo annoying

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  • I'm not a big talker, so awkward silence is like my normal setting lol

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  • When it turns out she is a he... *awakward silence*

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  • It means, y ou don't wanna form something to start a good ongoing conversation... then there is no use of being sitting beside each other...

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  • I can respect a person that knows how to shut the fuck up and enjoy a bit of silence.

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  • As long as she doesn't expect me to carry the conversation all the time then I don't give a shit.

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  • I don't have these awkward silences, either it's silence or it's sound.

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  • If it's a first date you should be prepared for at least 2 awkward silences.

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  • It actually increases the feeling of desire, and sexual tension

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  • Some times people are a little bit introverted until they get to know someone.

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  • It's more how you deal with it than the silence its self

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  • No, not at all.

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  • They're kinda a guarantee at the beginning.

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  • Nah.

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  • Silence isn't awkward, it's golden

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  • I only have comfortable silences.

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  • If there are too many of them yes

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  • What about awkward everything?

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  • I like silence

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