Would you really love a broken person?

People are always attracted to positive things. They drift away from anyone who seems unwell because they know they can get a better person. No one wants to deal with more problems.
Would some guys really have patience to love a girl who is f*cked up in so many ways but is willing to fight hard to be better only knowing she's not alone in this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone is loveable, if you invest in the time and effort, a broken person can be fixed again. You'll find when someone is hurt they are drifting to place they feel safe and it's normally within themselves, like a barrier so to speak. And most of the time it's hard to let it down because they are so used to being let down, hurt, sad etc. If your able to show the side of love where it's felt with nothing but admiration, devotion, caring and protection and so on. That wall they created slowly bares holes of hope in someone. And if you keep giving that kind of love, those holes turn into windows of a new look in life which in turn opens a door for the right person to walk in and that person still feeling safe and secure.

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    • Thank you for your wise and noble opinion.
      I believe in this, and to feel it once in my life, but it ended up being worse than how my loneliness had felt.
      We all have souls we wish would be met.

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    • Thank you :)

    • Your very welcome 😊. Hope you find the happiness you deserve.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No ones perfect, and just because someone feels broken, doesn't mean it was their fault or that they can't heal. I would be happy to love someone who is still genuine and kind and help them through whatever hurt they're going through.

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What Guys Said 98

  • In short: ceertainly will. It's in a man's blood to save others, help others etc. Even without a clear hope that we ll be succesfull with this efforts.

    But, we only do it with the consent of tbe helped. its no use doin sy that only embarasses the other one.

    And trust me, only a jerk would even think things like "oh I can get better" and so on. with experience comes empathy for others.

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  • I loved a woman who was very broken and tried really hard to help her overcome her problems. She knew it but unfortunately after making a start she decided (along with some help from a close friend) that she wasn't going to take the difficult path to getting better and would instead keep on as she was. It broke my heart. Unfortunately, loving the person is not enough if they do not love themselves.

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  • My love of my life is exactly that though. She has been though so much, she suffered from severe depression and anxiety for the last 10 years of her life. I came along and I saw the person behind all of the sadness and pain. I loved her, so very much that I wanted to be there for her no matter what to help kill the things that caused her pain and sadness.
    It takes a strong guy to have to deal with things like that. The first few months of our relationship I felt were like a test of strength. I loved her so much, she was the one I was looking for. Thats one of the reasons I am here talking about it. I wanted what was there underneath and I was going to fight for it.
    Yes, there are people out there who are willing. I may not be the only one. But from my experiences, I can see why most people cannot be that person. But there are people out there, hopefully like me so that they may help broken girls like mine was.

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    • Bless you for being one of those special people. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion.

    • You're welcome. If you're one of those people, I hope you find one too. I don't think any of us want to see you go from the world.

  • Yes, absolutely. Broken people, damaged, fucked up, what ever you want to brand them.. They're people if I fall in love with someone who is one of your branded people so be it they are still a person to me. If I need to do things a little different to out their kind at rest, ease their nerves, comfort them at trying times. That's no different than anyone else. Might be a little more often but if you aren't fighting for something, you haven't earned anything. People who have been through some shit usually have the most to give. You just have to want it.

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    • Bless you for being such a mature, understanding and kind soul. I do believe and share your persective.
      I hope you have found or will find somebody who will fight for you and love you as much and as openly as you are willing to do.

    • Luckily I have found someone who fights for and with me as much as I do them :) she is my world and so is her daughter. I couldn't ask for more from this world
      ❤️

  • Not everyone drifts away from people who are unwell. Many women (and men) pick people that are unwell and think if they do everything "just right", it'll fix the person and they'll magically become everything they wanted the person to be. The rationale for this behavior is documented very well in the book, "Women Who Love Too Much"

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    • Yes, an empath. I am one myself. But i've never had a chance to meet somebody who would give me a chance at love and understanding.

  • it depends if they are broken to the point that they really aren't suited for a relationship or not. the reality is some people are simply not ready to be in a relationship if they are sufficiently enough broken and they shouldn't be in a relationship for their own benefit as well as others.

    but then there are those who were broken or are on the mend and in which case those people certainly could be potential partners

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  • Yeah it's possible, I did for two years. She fucked me over in the end so I wouldn't do it again. You just have to care more about the person and who they are more than their faults. But that goes for love in general

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    • Sorry that happened to you. Toxic people do exist, they are the ones that too broken and in a way that can't help and that feeds itself by dragging the closest people around down. It's the case for narcissistic people, for example.

  • I ignored my intelligence, better judgement, Red flags sticking out of her ass, sacrificed my friends and family... well, they sacrificed themselves, because they're weak. For a woman who was "broken". I accepted to take on that challenge because I loved her deeply. I built a life for us in my head to excape my reality, hoping it would keep me going through all of her bullshit lies. "She will see that I am different. I will show her that I am stronger than those who tried before me." I can't even begin to explain what that woman did to my life. It's the type of shit you see on lifetime movies. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't a movie. I have my issues as well, I am far from perfect and work everyday to better myself. But, I had no idea that there was absolutely nothing that I could have bought, said or sacrificed that would have made a difference. I learned the hard way that you cannot change people. I also learned that their are some people who literally will lie about every single aspect of their lives to get what they don't deserve. She is hell spawn and tried to knock me down to her level. I am still fucking standing and much wiser, stronger and more intelligent on my worse day, then she ever could hope to be on her best. Never again will I lower myself for anyone who is "broken". Let them be miserable by themselves or you will be miserable with them. Hopefully you have some dignity left, after they're finished wiping there ass with it.

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    • I'm sorry you had to fall for a toxic person. But not all broken people are toxic. Some will love you more than they loved themselves at the state they are in, and will simply see themselves through your eyes in order for them to get better for all the positive things you make them see, among all the darkness in their minds.

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    • So you can't predict your own actions? How in the hell can anyone but yourself know what you will or won't do? You sound like a song I've heard before. "Here I am again, mixing misery and gin". Merely Haggard knew what he was talking about.

  • I've been broken multiple times, and i definitely would love someone else who has been broken. In fact, i would probably prefer that because she would understand me better. My main thing would be that she is willing for us to work together to help both of us

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  • I would have if I found someone like that because I am broke myself. Unfortunately I have never found anyone to accept me.

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    • I hope you will find somebody, someday. You deserve to be loved as genuinely as you are willing to love others. Best of luck (l)

    • I have almost gave up and stop being willing to accept anyone if they did come along. I have been single about 20 years. I am 38

    • I'm not in a better state to believe this, but it's never too late. I hope you will find your joy.

  • Those that have been through heavy shit that doesn't become shitty are usually very considered caring with a lot overseeing... they are usually the best people to have around us since they know the shit how it can be and so on.

    Personal I don't mind as long you don't are shitty as a person against others or drag me down with the mental energy or try to drag me down in to the black rat whole. (have lifted someone i did see for 2 hours, did lift her more than I actually had energy for and crashed for more than 2 weeks, never going to do that again)

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    • Thank you for your mature and kind view on life. I agree with you, and am sorry you had a bad experience. As an empath myself, i've had to be bitten by countless toxic people and energy vampires, it will nonetheless teach us to decipher better who to give our best selves to. Best of luck.

  • In order for the non-dysfunctional to love the dysfunctional, the latter really has to be outstanding and shine in at least one area; that area usually being good looks. In other words, a woman wouldn't ordinarily date an unmotivated, underachieving slacker unless the slacker were tall and handsome. Likewise, the male won't be willing to date psycho-woman unless she presents herself as if Demi Moore to him.

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    • If you ignore a person's mental health problems for their looks, it won't be loving that person but putting up with them for the prize of really good looks. The latter won't last, and the person will end up leaving them sooner or later, cause they haven't adressed the core issue.

  • I did, and know many guys that have. For guys it's more about a guy feeling that person is the one for them. If a guy feels as though he has to know that person, and be with that person, it doesn't matter how broken they are.

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  • Everyone facing hard times is their life but it doesn't mean you should stop or being depressed or your love ones stop loving you...
    You just need interaction with someone,,,,,,, after that your all problem is solved and it's never be the burden for your loveones,,,,, they are always like to help you and want to see you happy

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  • Does me being screwed up too help or hurt in that scenario?

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    • Two broken people can find solace and comfort in each other, because you would understand each other.

  • Nice opening sentence.

    Depends on how f*d up you are and if it is within my capacity to fix it. If you say you have debts, then sure let's get married tomorrow and I'll pay for them. But if you say you regularly use Heroin and got in jail 3 times for burglary, then no thanks.

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    • You don't have to fix a person, only the person can fix themselves. Depression is deeper than to be cured by a simple problem being solved. It's hard and nearly impossible for depressed people to fight because they feel alone and hopeless, so they fall apart. When you love a person, you are there for them and you let them feel that they are not alone in this and you give them that reason they want to get up again, fight their demons and be better.

    • Yep depression I can certainly deal with. Again, also depends on how established the guy is to provide support to this, and indrectly help you through

  • As a 'broken person' myself, I know what it feels like to lose people just cause they don't want to or can't handle my problems... If I find myself in love with a broken girl then I will do everything I can to help her get better...

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  • Girl I'm more fucked up than you i hope (i never know of anyone more fucked up than me) and I'm still hoping to find love even though I'm dead inside a long time dead. A piece of me just went missing...

    But you know what, once in while when least expected it, some girl always comes along and fill that empty void. It was the happiest times of my life. But I always make some dumb mistake and push her away. But I learn from them. Now when she comes again, this time I hope I will not disappoint her.

    Those girls never cared about my problems, I tell them everything... and they're willing to help me through it. Some I'm sure there is someone out there right around the corner

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    • Best of luck, my friend.

    • For me, the moment I got close to being given a chance at being loved and understood ended up being one of the most painful experiences i've had.

  • Probably not since I am broken beyond all repair myself

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    • I hope you will be fine, some day.

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    • I don’t bother dating since I’ll only drag the other person down

    • Indeed. I feel that.

  • Yes I have been around depression and mental illness all my life. I really understand it, I love to help.

    If a girl I was seeing happened to be "broken." I would try my very best to help her.

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What Girls Said 27

  • I just saw this questions and it reminded me so much of myself. I have my own issues which I try to fight every day. Some days are better, some not so much. For me a lot of things started building up, since I was a kid. I was bullied since I can remember myself. I was bullied for my body, my looks, my high grades. For some reason I never had real friends. And when I thought I had finally found friends, they eventually betrayed me and screwed me over. All of them. No guy ever took an interest in me. They didn't even bother to look my way or keep up a conversation with me. When I was out with friends, most guys would hit on the other girls of the group (even all of them sometimes) except me. I was always the less impressive girl who was always ignored. Everytime something of the above happened, another brick was added to the wall around me. I'm not the most open person in the world and I have some serious trust issues. But, I have so much to give as a person. The only thing I want is for someone to give me a chance. Someone who will actually see the real me and love me for who I am. There are days I certainly doubt that it will happen and feel like will be alone forever. These days I have to pick myself up and continue with my life, no matter how lonely, boring and uninteresting it is. I don't need someone to "fix" me up. I just need someone that will hold my hand, look me in the eye and say "It's going to be ok." "You matter." "I'm here for you." "We'll go through this together." Because I know I would do the same. I have done so for other people who I thought to be my friends and they paid me back by betraying me.

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    • I feel you completely. I'm so sorry you feel this. Hopefully, one day we will know what being fine and joyful feels like.
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

    • I certainly hope so. Thank you for posting this question that gave me the chance to get this off my chest.

    • You're very welcome!

  • No, it does never happen that is true. And it is better not. I also would not do that. Even I know you might think that is when you need it the most. But that is an illusion. Because it is better we do not. I think to ask this question takes courage anyway tho. By itself, you might think that it is better but it is in reality not. Because when we are alone and left alone with our problems we learn who we are at the same time and learn a lot about life. We see people who are together have proven to show to learn nothing about life and we all would be the same way. When you are in trouble there are also in many cases not even what you can call friends. We are divided in good and evil and must make a choice. Even this fact is or will be denied by many. When you meet a person you meet the family even if you never meet them or would avoid them. This makes things more complicated. But we say many things that are not realistic and we all were selfish and not wise in our decisions. My experience is, eventually that what you learn is not bad but actually pretty cool even you do not expect it. Everything in life is cool but we fear everything and we are scared and many are and so we fool each other while we believe ourselves. Altho there should be hope in life or a reason to live for. So even if you fool yourself it is better then have no hope. Because of our misery, many people choose not to want to live and to be like us and they make that way their choices. The question is are we that stupid to be fooled by others who have it always better as it seems but in fact do not but much worse even they do realize it or not and say your life sucks and theirs is great. I think in that case it is time to stick your fingers in your ears and give a big smile and continue your life where you were left. But ask God. For sure no matter who you are or where you are, you will smile again.

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    • Thank you for your opinion :) but you can't tell somebody that they don't need something when they feel the need for it, in this case, love. Loneliness is the most fatal and lethal of all.

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    • You are right, thank you so much for your wise opinion. Some of us simply know no other way not to let our thoughts take a toll on us.

    • ☠️I am not allowed pictures yet but this suits great also for what I mean when man eat themselves from the inside out when pretend happy at the outside and try to find a way to hide their pain. Then there are many women go to them as vampires who seek such man and waited for that moment to satisfy those man and those man's need as a factory worker who works behind the Assembly line because it needs to go on and never stops. But they created for this purpose this way our society and they stand ready to wait for the catch for as well man as well for woman to eat people who suffer at the inside and not even notice it because life is so busy and running to buy makeup or a car or anything that makes you feel looking good so others believe you feel good.

  • There are people out there who thrive on fixing a broken person. It feeds their ego. As soon as they fix that person there on to the next broken person. In my opinion, every last one of us is broken and one way or another. It takes a special person to love us for who we are and stick with us no matter what. I hope if you're going through something like this that things work out for you.

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    • Thank you so much for your opinion, you're right about that. I hope so as well :)

    • One thing must be said also, you are right, but those women pretend to be sad but are not. We talk here about the real broken hearted people, but there are many who fake it.

  • Dont be a pity case.

    Some people hold onto their issues for the attention.

    If you rely on a partner to glue you back together, you will fall apart again.

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    • I in no way would ever rely on somebody or expect to fix me. Love can be the motivation and that glimpse of hope some of us need to face a new day with a heart full of determination and hope.
      Between getting better and falling apart is a very thin line we only feel when we're at the end of our ropes.

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    • You too, keep swinging that sword girl

  • fixers do. Some people are "fixers" meaning they are attracted to someone because they think they can fix them.

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    • Empaths, indeed. I am a fixer, and sometimes they need fixing the most.

  • Why dont he want to get in such a mess?
    if a person normally want to get in a relationship and who is already broken , she should think about fixing her conditions and work on herself.. if you can't do it by your own dont expect others to do it for you..

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    • I would never expect from anybody to fix me. Loving somebody is being there for them and supporting them while they fix themselves, letting them know that they are not alone. Somebody's love can be the reason why a broken person would fight, to make it better. It's hard and nearly impossible to do it when you're depressed, hopeless and lonely.

    • well, everybody is damaged somehow but in the end you get to pick whoever and whatever you want , if he has options you can't blame him this is life and love sets no boundaries since its chemical. you have to know, in my opinion if i am depressed i dont expect people who surround me to fix me but to be supportive , you are the master of your own self and your own faith and if you can't make yourself happy than no other will. until then, you won't be surprised by how man will show up in your life ( quality ones) .

  • yes and no there is only sertain guys who will love the broken and try to actually help or fix and mend what has been broken or at least try it's certainly nice to actually get that person tho so choose wisely on who you wish to trust with your heart and problems

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  • The man I'm with was broken and drinking himself to death when I met him because he was going through a divorce with a woman that was vindictive and would use his daughter to get back at him. He was just too beet down to fight anymore. But when we met and I showed that I didn't judge him and believed in him he slowly started to drink less and pick himself up. He also deals with depression and an anxiety disorder but he also got medical help with that and now he's a wonderful partner and father. I helped him understand his rights with his daughter and put his ex wife in her place by making her see how much she's hurting her daughter by using her against him. His ex learned to respect me because she saw I truly wanted what was best for her daughter. It was tough but I saw the potential in him and our connection was something I had never felt. You're right that most people would not touch a situation like that. But if someone truly connects with you they will fight with you.

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  • I can but I feel I might fucked things up even more

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  • Have already done so. Would again. No one is completely whole. It's all in the potential.

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  • Yes I would because then I could help them become more happier in life. I know how it feels to be broken so it doesn’t really matter to me.

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  • Im broken too, so maybe after i pick up my own pieces first. Co-Dependency when you yourself are in need of help is not healthy.

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  • I have and I still love em turns out I was more broken than he was

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  • Don't know if a guy would love any broken girl but there are countless instances of girls holding on to broken guys once & for life. Myself being a girl, I do have a lot of sympathy for broken/ depressed people (whether girls or guys) which surprises me too sometimes lol 😂 that my brain never agrees to leave their side, no matter what once I befriend them. I do get attracted to broken people more in general, even though can't help them but I like at least giving them some moral support & helping them overcome their issues if possible. Can't say much about "love" though coz I don't believe in love. But I have Foolish blind sympathy for a broken guy friend, & for one childhood friend too... not love just sympathy.

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  • Personally I think someone has to love themselves before they can love someone else

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  • Yes they can. I have a lot of problems and my man loves me a lot.

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  • Yes. I'm doing it rn. I find I'm more attracted to them.

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  • Yes, everyone is broken in some way or another

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  • Yes i would

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  • What do you mean by broken? A broken person?

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    • That they can't enjoy life or function normally cause they are doused in sadness, anxiety and negativity. A broken person can't find a meaning to life and survive each day instead of living it.

    • Ok, I understand. Thank you.

    • You're welcome

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