Any girls on here in Recovery (Drugs/Alcohol)?

I'm in recovery, and so is my ex girlfriend. We broke up a couple months ago because she was very confused and felt she needed to focus on herself. I agree, that you need to figure yourself out in recovery, but we had already been dating for 3-4 months so it seemed to be an odd time to come to that conclusion. She told me, I didn't do anything wrong and she loved me, but she's been in relationships most of her life, and she wants to take this opportunity to finally figure herself out. If that's the case, I wish her the best, because I love her and I would hate for her to relapse down the road over something she didn't figure out when she needed to. We've expressed that we miss each other, but agree that continuing to see each other or forge a friendship could only make matters worse between us. Have any of you girls been in a similar situation? Or did you feel the same way? Is it possible I overwhelmed her? I didn't mean to. We both have several months of clean time, but we're in our first year.

0|0
10

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

10
  • It is a tough position to be in because unless both of you are doing positive things for yourselves it is easy to get together, start having fun - the excitement of getting together - and relapse again. I've been there a few times and the only way to get focused is to distance yourself from all of it, including the ones you love the most. I'm sure you both miss each other but at the end you have to ask yourself about the risk of getting back together. Those things need time, a lot of time and probably she needs to be sure that if you guys started seeing each other you would not relapse. I understand her position, she's being selfish for her own good, I've done it myself, she's maybe scared to try. But how do you feel? Do you feel you're focused? What's going on in your life? I think she needs to be sure you're doing good.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm doing great, coming up on a year sober, on Step 11, full-time job, benefits, car, I live in a sober living house, but that's by choice not financial necessity. We had talked about moving in together, and while she said she was definitely interested in that, I know it scared her. And I know a jumped the gun by suggesting it. She's a more withdrawn person, and very insecure physically and emotionally. She'd rather ignore an issue than talk about it. I did my best to always be approachable and understanding (we never argued) which is why it's frustrating that she didn't want to try to talk things out. I think, she's struggled a little more than I have, a friend of hers told me that shortly after we broke up she admitted she was having thoughts of using. I guess her last boyfriend (an addict himself) was very possessive, and her friend suggested that might be let of the reason she was afraid to be open with me about her feelings.

Recommended myTakes

Loading...