Why did my boyfriend blame me for his cheating?

He told me i made him so miserable because i didn’t trust him/accused of being unfaithful/disrespectful a lot. And a lot of times, i did truly feel he was being disrespectful to me online by giving attention to others girls/my friends, and ignoring my complete existence and not giving me the attention he was giving to others. I’d communicate with him what i wanted/needed to feel loved and appreciated. He always took it to offense, and he blamed me. Yet, he was already doing shady things online and i lost nearly all trust in him b/c something didn’t feel right (especially after he updated his tinder and followed a new girl shortly after). He lied about this constantly telling me she was a girl he met at school, etc. in the end, he cheated on me with her. He said “you didn’t trust me and it made me do bad things”. But of course i didn’t trust him! He was being shady and sneaky and even my friends would bring stuff up that they saw and they felt it was weird/wrong what he was doing. Still, he blames me for his cheating. Yet, he refuses to acknowledge what he was doing to push me to trust him less and less. It’s so annoying. It makes me mad. I am going to end it, because clearly he can’t take responsibility for his actions. Also he said to me “you will clearly never get over this. I knew if i told you, you would react badly”. But he didn’t even tell me. i FOUND out, and then he tried to blame me when i found out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, sorry this happened. I fail to understand why you need to process this. He was an ass, he cheated and now the relationship is over. You are beating a dead horse. Learn from this, forget him and move on. Pouring salt in your wounds won't help the healing process.

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    • Because i am not sure why he blamed me, and sometimes i feel he is right. But, i don’t know. If i cheated i wouldn’t blame someone.

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    • They gave me actual attention and time ** that is necessary for a relationship to last.

    • Why attack me? I gave you a brief and respectable answer, and you kept digging me for more. So I gave you more. I gave you my honest opinion. Why are you now attacking me saying I treat my wife like shit? Again, I am sorry this happened to you! I am not condoning his behavior or saying it is right. I was only trying to help you understand why he may have done it. I told you I could be wrong, I was only giving you information based off what you said. I certainly would never assume you are like that because I don't have the whole picture. You certainly don't have the right to assume I go around making women feel like shit either. Shame on you!!! This is what I am talking about. Now you are allowing your negativity to rule your emotions and lashing out on people you don't even know because you can't realize what ever he did is his problem and you did nothing wrong and need to forget him. If you can't understand that and forget him and move on, then nobody, including you, can help!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your bf's being a real dick. Just leave him. If he had paid all his attention to you instead of those girls, you wouldn't have had the need to feel jealous or upset.
    So its his fault. Trying to blame you for his mistake, what an asshole.

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    • That’s exactly how i felt! I told him, “if you had given me the attention i deserved as a girlfriend, i wouldn’t have gotten upset/jealous/insecure all the time. When i found out about his cheating, he was also messaging others girls and complimenting them all the time. He never did this for me. The most he said was “you look good”. When i asked him why he didn’t compliment me like the other girls, he said “because looks don’t matter to me. I was with you for more than looks. Looks fade!” But that’s contradictory, because why compliment anyone on looks if they don’t matter? He’s stupid and that made me feel really badly inside.

    • You deserved a better guy, one that treats you well and adores you. If not, at the very least, he should be a responsible person that is not afraid to own up to mistakes. Not one that fabricates more lies and excuses, blaming others to cover up for his own mistakes.

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What Girls & Guys Said

29
  • He sounds like a lot of my exs which can account for my trust issues now when it comes to women. Here's a question if your dating why the fuck is he still on tinder?

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    • I have no idea WHY he updated tinder. I found out about it, and he tried to play dumb (first red flag). He tried to make up for it, told me he deleted the app, and that it was a mistake. But, that should had been my cue to leave...

    • Yeah you should off left and I'm not saying you should do this but you could sign him up to grinder an have a bunch of gay men meet him in front of his friends be even better if you can get them to go along with it.

  • I think it is time to accept that he does not care for you. He is simply bad for you. He is manipulative and a liar and a cheater. Dump him. Do not you think you deserve better?

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  • He's full of crap. No one can make him cheat but him.
    Just end it, find a faithful guy and put him out of your mind.

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  • Because he's a pathetic coward that couldn't talk to you and is trying to blame you for something HE did. It's not your fault. Get away from this toxic shit.

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  • Just dump him and move on...
    This type of guys are worst they are not satisfied with their s/o so they keep u until they find someone better than u...
    Find a new guy who would truly love u

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  • He is the paragon of asshole, I wish I could be like him that plays with women skillfully and still get women to love me back like crazy

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  • he isn't boyfriend material at all. what you have there is an immature prize cunt so please have enough respect for yourself to get out

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  • Wait did u stay with him

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    • I stayed to try and make it work. I felt it was my fault. But, i am considering leaving. I get the feeling he wants me to do all the work and get over it. That it’s MY job to learn to trust him again without his help. It’s pathetic.

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    • Yes. But, he’s also had enough life experiences to know that cheating isn’t the best answer. I find it weird that he’s been cheated on he knows how it feels, but still did it... and i mean, after i found out, he told me that he had cheated before on people and he felt badly. I didn’t know... so this must be his character.

    • Yep u have the answer

  • Not man enough to hold his hands up

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    • We tried to make it work. But, i get the feeling he wants me to just put it behind us. He told me “holding something over someone’s head is the scummiest thing you can do to someone”. Yes, but cheating and lying isn’t. Funny how convenient that is... for him

  • Just an excuse cause he's not a real man

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  • He's dump material

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