Isn't it about time that women do the romancing?

For so long it's been a custom that men are the romancers and women the romanced. I am sick of this and I know many other men are too. So, don't you think it's time for women to prove themselves to us instead of the other way around?
  • Yes, it's your turn ladies.
    Vote A
  • No, women should be romanced but not men.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Prove what?
    We already work 2 jobs, pay all the bills, birth the children, raise the children, clean the house, cook the food, and lay down though we are tired and in pain to please you.
    All you have to do is say hi and buy me dinner.
    20 something men and the ones like them are lazy. can't do anything. Still living at home with MOM and can barely keep a minimal job.
    Can you build something? Fix something? Have a spine at some point? Always nervous, always shy, always scared. Always depressed, always whining, always entitled, always wanting more but ain't got shit to give.
    No wonder the male chromosome is shrinking because this metrosexual pathetic male generation is killing their own gender. Seriously FUCK this question.

    I respect the old fashioned men who understood how to give a shit about other people and bust ass for their families. Made our lives so comfortable today. Men now are just destroying everything their father's built up and are getting socially raped in the ass.

    You dudes are a bunch of princesses.

    The audacity of you diva man-bitches.

    The only men entitled to being wined and dine are boss ass dudes who will still insist (KEY MUTHA FUKIN WORD,) to cover the check just to prove he gives a fuck about you and your happiness enjoying a simple meal.

    Thats the real shit behind it.

    Likewise seeing he has a mind like that, out of my own appreciation I will return the favor and serve him. He will be short some dinners, hell I can bring him something fancy for his luncg break too lol.

    But diva man-bitches can't comprehend that because their balls are too far up their arrogant spoiled throats.

    Sorry Im on one today y'all. The men in my house are some boss ass dudes.

    Theyd beat you up for saying some shit like this lol

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    • Thank you. Your outburst only further validates my disdain for people who think the way you do. You have no good agruments so all you can do is attack my character. Try again.

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    • Lol does anyone notice how dumb the question was to begin with? He hasn't had a relationship with a girl yet so why does he write "isnt it about time" When he never dated a woman in his life before?

      Also he deleted the account lol but doesn't know the question is still up

    • also legitimately the men that are complaining about it are the ones who are being taken care of by their partners (if they even have one) as if they were their partners child or by their parents who don't know how to kick a grown ass man out of their house.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Given that Feminists are succeeding in a global campaign to criminalise normal heterosexual interaction, if women do not take the initiative they are going to die childless, alone, face down in a puddle of cat piss.
    In Britain, France and elsewhere in Europe a man risks an Orwellian thought/hate crime charge if he approaches a woman in any way. That is due to the wording to anti-catcalling laws.
    The same insanity is being introduced to Canada. Canadian universities already have rules that go far beyond the injustice and misandry of Obozo’s Title IX.
    Here in Australia, the Feminists and their political enablers are talking about anti-catcalling laws.
    Based on the laws in Britain and France, we know what the real agenda is.
    So, women, when a man risks life-destroying consequences if he approaches you, how many men do you think will be willing to approach you?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 65

  • Many of us already are romantic and do romantic things for our lovers, but sometimes what we think is romantic is not what a man really wants. (Like, do you REALLY want a cutesy stuffed animal on Valentine's day?)

    I think if we understand a bit of what men feel like they are missing in the romance department, we'd be pretty happy to oblige. I love doing cool, wonderful stuff for and with the people I love, so I am open to your thoughts on what works.

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    • Who wouldn't want a cutsey stuffed animal?

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    • I'm gonna follow and troll him I think...

    • @Jon_25 right on bro lol

  • I always do that. Personally I like being the woman in the relationship. Basically anyone I'm interested in always always gets the royal treatment. Whatever happens. I mean I like being spoiled too, but only by my parents, no one else. I do the spoiling in other cases. I tend to always ask the guy out, pay on first dates and everything else. I know what I want basically, and if it's someone who I'm interested in, well I make the move and make sure that they have me working towards a relationship with them. I do not at all expect them to 'romance' me or whatever cause NO ONE HAS THE TIME FOR THAT. Like seriously, who has time to go on a date for hours on end and sit planning everything. I can't do that, I don't expect him to do that. It's all about the minor details. As long as that happens ( after that overzealous first few extremely romantic dates) I'm fine and don't expect him to do anything. For anniversaries, well that's an exception. Then both of us would go all out, each would plan a surprise. Not just him, not just me, both of us. Together preferably so that there are no clashes. But otherwise, no I have no interest in being pampered by anyone at all. Rather I would be the one doing it.

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  • If you feel that strongly about being romantic with a woman, then you don't deserve the love and care that woman have the capacity to give. We're natural givers, so of course we're choosy about who we give love to. You just sound like you don't want to put in the work to earn someone else's affection. That mindset won't get you anywhere.

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    • yes, thank you! this "guy"'s just lazy.

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    • My vagina is more valuable than gold will ever be. And I never said I don't initiate romance. I said that the guy asking this question wants to put the work load onto the woman and him not do anything. Again, that mindset won't get him anywhere.

    • I haven't said at all that woman can't romance a man. I've initiated every relationship I've ever been in. And I don't think I'm superior to men. Don't assume things just to make a complaint. Read what I'm saying properly and respond accordingly.

  • I'm really sad that you don't already feel like you've experienced some fairness.
    It really bothers me when there's a reputation for women sitting on their arses, lying on their backs and doing nothing- I know some couples function that way, but I personally don't think that's right at all.

    I'm not on about weighing and measuring everything so it's perfect even Stevens- i'm talking about seeing things that make you think of someone and getting it, taking turns paying for meals and treating each other.

    I've sent homebaked goods in the post when they've been stressed, cooked ridiculously high course meals for a dozen people for birthdays, made things, made sure gifts are always thoughtful (and not restricted them to birthdays), taken on holidays,

    I'll also happily hop up and say that also I haven't been bought flowers for three years, and the last time it was a bunch from friends, last bunch from a boyfriend was in my teens.
    I'm not saying flowers are the only way, but it would also be nice for more chaps to pursue ladies in politer manners than sending an unsolicited dick pic.

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  • I think relationships should be equal. It can’t be just the man doing all the romancing. Us women need to too

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    • Why did you choose the word "need" when talking about a show of affection towards your partner?

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    • @Return_of_Lionzzz Liar, for you she'd charge at least 100. Not even she'd wanna touch your junk.
      Come over, I'll blow it with my chainsaw for absolutely no charge. Guarantee it's the last one you'll ever need.

    • Because you're a fucking ultra ugly prostitute hahahahaha fucking slut suck our cocks whore hahahahahaahha

  • Why does every boy want to be a woman? ... but I mean fine, I could start slapping guys on the ass and shouting get on my dick at them from across the street... Don't see how that would benefit anyone but if it's what they really want, fine.

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    • Depends, I have a female friend that slaps me (and others) on the ass every once in a while, but I fully understand the point you are trying to bring here. At the same time, not every guy is like this

    • Guys would love to be treated like that, provided you say stuff like get in my vagina instead. You really think men wouldn't like women to be sexual to them like that? Remember men are far more sexually attracted to women than vice versa.

  • Women have been doing romancing for many years, it's never changed that I am aware of. I don't know the kind of girls you are with, but the ones I know and myself, have no problem doing something special for our men.

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  • Both should be romanced! Everyone wants to feel appreciated.

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  • Do you actually mean approaching? Because in my experience, the women I know are always doing cute things for their boyfriends, whereas their boyfriends tend to be a bit more inept at doing cute/creative romantic things.

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  • I don't actually think nowadays it's just the guy, I think women are more into doing it now too. I think it's just traditional that men are the ones who organise dates and weekends away, while women provide the baby and clean the house... right?

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    • Nature: males always afćre more beatiful (lmao not the case in humans) and they always have their decorative designs skin feathers etc they are colorful etc

      why

      to attract the female :D but they do the dances and shit

      so in the male world its putting yourself o display fighting to stay there so you can get attention of a female
      gonestly natures way is best but as we are social beings we simply aren't prone to doing that and we have our more civilised ways

      me myself, im pretty aure il stay alone for a long time because i just can't approach i found out a girl liked me more than a year ago and i did nothing

      so yeah im pretty dum fum when it comes to that

      also il copy this and put it as my opinion in the whole question

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    • i genuinely think he is retarded

  • If a woman tries to be romantic it’s usually seen as clingy and unappreciated by the dude

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    • Says who? I've never thought this of a woman. I couldn't appreciate it more if a woman was more forward

    • I don’t know... society? Never happened to me but seems to be the norm here in the US

    • yea same. i never realized how important it is to like a guy who likes you more until i started chasing after my last crush.

  • Awwwww, that’s such a cute little picture you have for your question 😁 but I don’t want to seem pushy. I can see myself leaving cookies with a note on a guys door step but I’d be too afraid to hand them to him in person 😂

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    • Leaving cookies on his doorstep might be weird cos guys are not used to it yet. But handing the cookies with ur number or a note that says 'U wanna hang out later? XOXOXO". Make it as casual as possible. Handing him the cookies yourself will be more effective. Make sure u find some excuse to leave before he opens it. Better to not be there when he opens it.

    • Thanks BlackMaleYou, that’s good advice.

  • Tbh I love doing cute little acts of kindness and appreciation to my boyfriend like buying him just because cards, sending him shirts that I think would look good on him, getting food for him at his favourite restaurant. And he'd do the same for me as well. It's not about the gender that should do romantic things, it's about the whether or not the person you're doing that to is the right one.

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  • I love doing stuff for my man, but if you’re not in a serious relationship, sometimes it can turn a guy away.. obviously not always, but it does happen

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  • The ladies are more outspoken these days. When a lady start romancing a guy, it scares them into thinking all sorts of things about the lady who is bold enough to pursue a guy she knows, who is also interested in her..

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  • I didn't vote because i think both should romance once in a while

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    • Same here, I was looking for that middle ground button, but not there so I'm not voting

    • Exactly.

      Everyone should learn to love eachother. We all have faults and we should learn to forgive.

      Im not religious but I try to find something to love in everyone.

  • Yes, girls should be romantic too and make their partner feel loved too.

    But, what kind of gestures do you consider romantic, and not clingy?

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    • Anything casual, thoughtful and useful. Not too much.

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    • Home made food if ur food skills is at least basic.
      Leave him a candy snack he adores with a nicely written note for him asking if he wants to hang out later (of course, u already have a fun idea of a place to go like an arcade bar which isn't expensive). he gets to spend just a little.
      Buy him a book if he is a book junky, hand him a netflix or Amazon gift card enough for a month if he is into movies etc.
      Buy us something small but very useful. Something we dont have time to by ourself. It shows us u are thoughtful.

    • @BlackMaleYou Good thing I'm a decent cook. That's good advice.

  • You can't clap with a single hand. That same way. Romance doesn't work that way.

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  • That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works.

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    • Then how should it work in your eyes, you can't expect everything to go by a book can you?

  • I think both should make an effort to show how much they care about each other. I don't think there was a rule that stated that men had to do all the 'romancing' I think that people think that because it's supposedly what a true man or a true gentleman should do. But both the man and woman should make the effort.

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What Guys Said 71

  • In a lot of cases, it would speed the process up. I think it's best when both genders do it, though.

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  • Romancing has absolutely nothing to do with "proving" anything...

    More notes: Authentic romance is not something you have to work at. It should come naturally.

    It never ends. If you fake it and stop when you feel comfortable, she will notice the change and become unhappy.

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  • Well, with that whole #metoo debate going on.. They should yea, you girls want equal rights and treatment, well start taking some goddamn responsability and hit on men instead of either complaining bout how insecure you are because guys dont hit on you, or complaining about how they harass you #metoo

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  • Yes. They now have the vast majority of the power between genders. Maybe not on society, but over each other, women have almost all the control. Maybe they should have to put some work in for a change...

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    • Ohh, I’m sorry that it’s not how it was back in your times :( how about we let men control us again that’s a good idea

    • Women DO put work in

  • The fact is it’s the man’s job to do the romancing because men are supposed to be leaders in relationships and move things forward. It might sound outdated but it’s just how the world works and I for one don’t really mind it.

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    • Why are they supposed to be "leaders" and what exactly are they leading?

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    • MY goals are to fulfill the most in my life with greatness. Your goal is to try to make others miserable if your opinion doesn't carry over and diminish their opinion, fucking sad.

    • @lacorine197 Don’t you see that you just come across as an angry prick who hates women? With your attitude you’ll never reach greatness because you’re too mad at the world. If anything you’re the one in the sad situation. I feel sorry for you

  • couldnt give a fuck about it, however because my dad is OLD (68) and im only 16 I've been brought up in the belief that guys should be sweet and courteous all the time, paying for things, taking on dates, initiating romance, and i enjoy it that way since most girls are accepting of me when i do this even if we are still young

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  • Women should romance but they're too busy complaining about the patriarchy and then expecting men to be romancers

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    • I will travel across the sea and show up at your doorstep with your favorite flowers, a handwritten love letter, a box of chocolates, and a kitten and I will kiss and marry you on the spot. 😤😤😤😤 how’s that for romance motherfucker?

    • I love that romance

  • Yes, it's about time women started asking us out, buying us flowers, taking us out to dinner, picking up the tab and treating us like princesses.

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  • Yeah right. As much as I agree, I wouldn’t hold my breath. As long as women can get away with having double standards, they’re get away

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    • Equality... Look it up, and compare to reality. Cherry pickers.. only want to give away half of the "traditional" female roles while double standarding the female perks, and adopt only the male amenities without the shitty side. Combined with "gatekeeper" mentality, and the gender slant of male prowess (some men are better than ithers sexually) versus (sorry ladies, I gotta be the one to be honest here) women being generally only different by estetics, and effort in showing appreciation, after all, all pussies are about the same after 5 pumps. It gives women power to judge and rate us. Our egos do the rest. They have control over men, but expect us to be in control...

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    • @LuckyEnough females only want convenient equality. When a situation arises for a female that sucks, she’s back to being “just a weak little woman”

    • @LuckyEnough I think you need to broaden your sample size a little for these conclusions, it seems like you’re just pissed off over a couple encounters with girls and now you want to rage about it, if you can’t broaden your sample size, then at least speak passionately about shit women and let it be mentioned that not all are like that.. not to mention about 5 pumps lol, or maybe it’s difficult for you to be with another girl

  • Both should, it should be a dance of sorts. Without the dancing, or dance too lol common courtesy and appreciation coming from both parties. That is how it should be done. If you do nice and fun things for girls, they'll return the favor. Or should. If not, then talk about it and vise versa

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  • Smh at all of you girls saying no...

    Those traditional ways you want to keep, huh?
    Well if you like traditional relationships so much then go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich 😉

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  • I think it needs to be a two way street. I'm sick of doing all the asking, reading of impossibly subtle hints, buying, etc, just to be sitting across from someone putting no effort into having a conversation and expects the whole night to be about her

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  • I think that it needs to be a generational thing cause most girls I know really want to approach a guy but have no idea how to and are to nervous to even say hi if they did.

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  • For fucks sake. If you're sick of the idea of romancing women you're doing it wrong. Communication skills suck for most men and women. Emotional maturity sucks for most men and women (especially men). here's a tip, if you're not good at something its probably your fault. Trust me, if you can properly romance a woman she will return it ten fold. So take some communication classes, study improv, learn things women like and have the balls to be ok with being uncomfortable from time to time.

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  • I feel like you're looking at this wrong. When did it become a responsibility to romance your girlfriend or wife? When did it become a chore, or an "I have to" for guys to do the romancing?
    It's what we want to do! If you don't want to then why are you dating her? I for one am so glad I get to romance my girlfriend, because I can show her how much I care about her besides just saying it. How great is it that the men are the ones who get to be romantic the most? This is not a problem of "who has to?" It's a "who wants to?" Come on, step up man. It's fair game! Nobody's making you, it's not just up to the guys here! We get to romance our girls, and frankly if you don't want to, then why on Earth are you even dating her? It's a want to, not a have to.

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    • "show how much I care about her"

      Thats it lol, thats all there is to it. Dining a girl was such a hollywood gesture that it stuck, not to be a begrudging stereotype on men, but because it captured that moment of care so romantically.

      Likewise, taking my boyfriend out isn't about romancing him, I just love him and like to watch him be happy

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    • @BadAssHunter

      Because it requires self sacrifice and effort, in the generation of self comfort and laziness lol

    • Lol nice! Haha

  • They Suck At Being Romantic To Guys To Be Honest, they only in the receiving side.. this is why a lot of man turn away from her because he starts to feel unwanted because she's too spoiled by Disney land princesses!

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  • Nah, I love romancing my woman. I wouldn't want it any other way. I think what you're asking for is reciprocation - which you get when she sees you putting in effort to romance her. Obviously, it depends on the kind of woman, in which case I suggest you reassess who you associate yourself with.

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  • no. it's been that way for 200.000 years for humans because that's how nature intended. and you're just scared/lazy, because even though men have done it for ever doesn't mean that YOU did it for ever, so how can you be sick of it? i bet you got turned down twice and now you're some kind of feminist.

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  • I don't think it is an either one or the other thing really
    But at the same time it would be good to change this culture where men are the pursuers and women pretend not to be interested until sufficient amounts of hoops have been jumped through as if acting out a fairy tale
    So yes women do some romantic things for your partners and men do so as well

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  • I would be nice of them, but I wouldn't count on it if I were you. In this world men are the one taking responsibility and blame.
    It might sound harsh but that's just growing up from a child to an adult.

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