Shown her my vulnerability and now I don't think she doesn't wants to see me?

We met on a work related course almost 4 years ago. When I got home that day I wrote about her in my diary - lame I know. I didn't know her name but I thought she was friendly and she made me feel comfortable.

A year later, we started working together. We are doctors - she is fully trained and I am a trainee. I always felt this thing between us but because she was my senior I just ignored it and thought that it may have just been wishful thinking.

We worked together for 2 years. It was great. During that time I knew she was seeing someone but she didn't;t mention him once and we were pretty close. When I left I won a prize - she nominated me for it! We decided to keep in touch.

I didn't do much about things until last September. She asked me to help on a course she was running. We went out for a drink after and when she left she gave me a kiss on my cheek. Since then I've been thinking about her way too much!!

We met up In Jan. Christmas sucks for me. I ran away from an abusive home as a child, led a chaotic life, and went to medical school via heroin addiction. Christmas makes me feel lonely. I told her about my past.

She was so nice about it all. Since then we have been out once every few weeks. In my head I feel really insecure. She is such an amazing person that I just don't feel good enough. When we go out I feel really anxious - we do have a good time though!

We last went out two weeks ago. I was worried about a job interview and she was really supportive. When I go through things like this it brings back lots of old emotions - most people I work with come from privileged backgrounds and I often feel like the teenage runaway heroin addict.

I got the job!! Messaged her and she seemed really happy. I asked her to celebrate - no specific date. She said definitely but said she was slammed with work/family commitments for 2/3 weeks and that it might have to be after that.

I feel like I messed things up. Not sure if I should contact her again?

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  • Contact her after a few weeks

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